Considering Childhood

When the Rule of Sixstarted making its way around the blogoshpere, I had a very new baby. I thought it was a meme and I gave little thought to carefully choosing my ideas. I borrowed ideas from here and there and put together my list. Several months later, I had the idea to revisit the list and see where we were. And then I took that list and wrote it again. Then, I realized I couldn't separate what was mine from what was in someone else's voice because it was all a jumble in my head. So, I had the idea to take the list, tweak it yet again, and then go back to Real Learning and describe each item in words I knew were mine. Now, the list looks like this:

• Live the Liturgy
• Experience loveliness
• Breathe deeply: Fresh air and exercise:   
• Serve others
• Listen to, contemplate, and exchange ideas. 
• Develop expressive skills.   
• Practice logical reasoning. Math.
• Receive focused attention and affection

Live the Liturgy: Like everything else we teach a child, the atmosphere and the discipline of religious formation is integral to its success. Catholics have rich traditions of the liturgical year upon which to build a foundation of both knowledge and love of God and his Church. It is in living the liturgical year with our children in the heart of our families that we are best able to convey the expression of genuine faith in the beauty of the Catholic Church...Crafts, and reading and writing activities, are seamlessly incorporated into our lesson time, bringing home the point that there is nowhere that religion ends and real life begins. Particular Bible studies, meditations, saints' stories, and the celebration of sacrament anniversaries are planned for teatime. Teatime is my liturgical year tableau. [pages 120 & 122]

Experience Loveliness:It is even simpler to see His hand in art and literature, poetry and music, and the infinite beauty of nature. God is there. He wants us to know Him there, and He wants our children to know Him, too. [page 23] We continue to educate our children at home because of the freedom to choose excellent books which stir children's hearts and inspire their souls. We continue to educate our children at home because here we are able to surround them with fine music and lovely art all day long. And we continue to educate our children at home because here an eleven-year-old boy can cradle a sick baby and learn the lesson of rare and lasting love. [page 229]

Breathe Deeply: Fresh Air and Exercise: Make athletics a family pursuit. Try hiking or biking together. Consider some less commonly pursued sports like water-skiing, dance or racket sports. If you take the lead and find something you enjoy, your children will follow. When athletics become part of the family culture, they are infinitely rewarding.[page 178]

Serve Others:Children who are charged with household responsibilities reap the benefits of learning life skills, time management, and perseverance. If your children are trained in household routines from the time they are old enough to toddle, they will have a firm foundation of right habits upon which to rely. Over the long haul, children derive satisfaction at a job well done which goes far beyond canned warm fuzzies and carries them much farther into the real world than advertising hype ever will.

Listen to, Contemplate, and Exchange Ideas:The atmosphere of the home we are considering is alive with living books and living ideas. There are art books and prints of works by the great masters. There is a garden, however small, where wee hands are invited and encouraged to touch, to feel, and to grow. And every afternoon, at four o'clock there is teatime. Flowers on the table, Mozart on the CD player, and a goodie or two on the table. The children are seated around the table where they are given the undivided attention of their mother and encouraged to talk; to discuss and to relate living ideas; to celebrate the feasts of the liturgical year. That is the atmosphere of education. [page 31]

Develop expressive skills:In a household where narration s a daily habit, children learn to listen carefully the first time. They learn to pay close attention while reading (an art that is all but lost in an age of readily available information). They also learn to express themselves effectively. It is this expression that will be the hallmark of an excellent education. A child's ability to communicate well, both verbally and on paper, is absolutely essential. It does not matter what he knows unless he can convey that knowledge well. The most important thing our children can learn to do, and indeed the call of each and every child, is to go out and make believers of every nation. They cannot do that unless they can tell the Good News clearly and compellingly. [page 65-66]

Practice Logical Reasoning: Math: We cannot shirk our responsibility to help our children learn to think like mathematicians. Ours is an increasingly complex, technological world. There is no ducking math--it's everywhere. Instead, we should encourage them to embrace the precision and the logic. We should provide the tools and present the living ideas. Children can be inspired by stories of mathematicians. They can be inspired to become mathematicians. [page 80]

Receive Focused Attention and Affection: In order to bring this lifestyle of learning into your home. you must look for beauty and new ideas, listen to your children's interests and desires, create memories, look for new habits to develop, and give children the grace of time to savor your life at home. Become involved with your children. Look at their hearts. Let them look at yours. Give them your focused attention. Edith Stein encourages, "The children in school do not need merely what we have but rather what we are." [page 44]

I first selected the passages over a month ago and then I put the project aside in order to attend to Real Life. But my own words rattled around in my head and I found that I believe them more today than when I wrote them. And some of them were written nine years and four babies ago! They've stood the test of time in my home. I own them. They are me. But they are the best of me. They are what I strive to be, not what I always am.

I've resolved to use my list--I call it "A Considered Childhood"-- as an organizing principle as I plan and record our days. So, without further ado, it's time to dust off Faithful over Little Things, and record our days once more.

Father's Day Far Away

It's Father's Day. I'm a big fan of holidays and holy days. I love to make a fuss. But I am going to admit, this one slipped off my RADAR screen--the victim of being between the infamous weekend and the trip to Denver. I've had a wicked sinus infection all week and I've been bumbling about trying to get ready to go again. "Daddy" was around a bit this week, getting into trouble  playing with the kids, but it didn't hit me until late yesterday, as we were driving to the airport, that he was leaving town and would miss Father's Day here on the east coast. I'm a bad mommy. We should have celebrated yesterday. Maybe we'll move it to Tuesday.

For now, the best I can do is lock myself in his office and call California so we can start the day with a long phone call. I'll tell him how much I love him and how I know of no other man on earth as dedicated to his children. I'll probably cry because it will hit me that he's alone in a hotel room on Father's Day and that just doesn't seem fair when you've worked so hard as the father of eight kids. And then I'll feel really badly for neglecting to tuck some special reminder into his suitcase. Finally, I'll tell him to log on because someone in this house didn't forget.

What the neighbors must think...

It has been noted before that the games played in and around my house are of the over-the-top competitive variety. When my husband enters the fray, and he and the children play a game of family soccer or family basketball, it's a no-holds-barred proposition. Those famous Kennedy games have nothing on us. But this morning was one for the books. As in "Book 'im!"

I had just put the baby to sleep when I heard the doorbell ring. I found this very irritating because it had taken me forever to get the baby to sleep because Mike and the kids were outside playing basketball and I could hear their wailing and moaning and screaming  cheering and encouraging through the front windows. Patrick, in particular, was going on and on about someone's shooting ability or lack of it.

As I went to the door, my heart leapt to see a sheriff's deputy through the front window. Outside, were four police cars. The tree was in the way and  I could only see two of my children. My head raced as I thought about streets and basketballs and cars. I opened the door.

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

"Except for the fact that you're scaring me, I'm fine."

"Is there anyone else in the house?"

"A sleeping baby--everyone else is out here."  I could see my husband now, punching buttons on his Treo. Good grief, must he check his email now? Doesn't he even notice the heavy presence of law enforcement?

"Ma'am, we got a 9-1-1 call from this location. A child was screaming in the background and we heard him say something about a shotgun."

"Um, no, not from here. I'm the only one in here and the baby was with me."

" The call was from your husband's cell phone."

There he was, standing there holding the Treo, grinning at me a bit sheepishly.

And there was a flash of insight.

"Officer, I think maybe the phone got bumped  and it dialed while they were playing and you heard my son yelling about a shot. A missed shot (I made a basketball shooting motion with my hands). In basketball."

And now I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, exactly what it sounds like to the rest of the world when my family plays a friendly game of basketball.

The weekend in pictures

When you are a good blogger, you blog frequently, chronicling the events of every day. When you are a good mother, you write things like this:
A neglected blog is a terrible thing. But neglected deadlines areworse. And a neglected family is the worst thing of all. So you shall have to carry on without me. But you will be fine. The weather is beautiful and I am sure you have a baseball game to get to. If you don't, though, please don't tell me. My psyche shall surely suffer if I find out that there is life beyond baseball and that other people are enjoying it without me. (HT: Danielle Bean)
And when a this blogger-mommy reads it,  she mentally exchanges "soccer" for baseball and hums about her ridiculously full IRL day.

But all day long, it nags at her that she hasn't recorded THE WEEKEND. So, she uploads some pictures and calls it all good--no major philosophical ponderings of the enormity of the milestones we marked, no hours spent trying to get the pictures to line up just right. Because Danielle said not to neglect my family for my blog. And she's very wise.

First there was the  State Cup Almost Win (pictures of tears deleted).
Then there was a beautiful ballerina who danced her heart out and made us so very proud.
And then there was graduation (by this time I was completely sick). Note to self: don't think that you can do the calligraphy on your son's diploma yourself. No matter how many times you've written certificates and envelopes and all matter of lovely things, this time, your eyes will bur and your hands will shake and you will not be able to figure out why. My favorite picture of graduation is this one of my husband and son. Mike spoke about Michael's accomplishments and was so overcome with pride (and not a little sadness that this time has come to an end) that in the end, all he could do was give him a big hug.
Then there was the gift of the children to their big brother. Patrick had designed a rosary and supervised as his siblings helped to string it. The spacers in the first decade are sapphires, Katie's birthstone. Michael will remember to pray for her when he prays that decade. The second decade is for the October birthdays--Karoline, Patrick, and Mary Beth. The third decade is Nicky's, the fourth Stephen's and the fifth, Christian's. Each of the Pater beads is surrounded by my husband's birthstone, so all the Our Fathers are for him. And I get the three Hail Marys at the beginning. With the rosary, we promised Michael our first decade of the day. It's still so hard for me to believe he won't be here in the fall when our days begin...
And then there was the scholarship presentation the next day. Nicole Megaloudis was a talented young college soccer player whose family was involved in the sport on every level from the youth game to MLS--much like ours. Nicole was Bobby's dear friend. Nicole was fond of saying, "Make it happen." I hope Michael remembers that life is very short and we only have a finite amount of time to make it happen. Live it-- live all of it-- like every minute matters. Because it does.

a New Throne for the Princess

Actually, it's an eighteen-year-old throne. But we freshened it up a bit for Karoline by making a new seat back cushion and a matching bib (or two, or three; I tend to buy way too much fabric:-).
I like it so much I want to redecorate the whole kitchen in pink! I've got my eye on Heather Bailey's palettes and patterns.  Stay tuned...