I knew as soon as Iread the email that I’d have to ask the questions. And so, as soon as my older
boys awakened, I took a deep breath and asked them what every Catholic parent
hopes she’ll never have to ask:
“Did Fr. B. ever
act inappropriately towards you in any way?”
No.
“Did he ever say
anything inappropriate?”
No.
“Did any of your
friends ever complain he’d done anything inappropriate?”
“No,” with growing
irritation this time, “ and this is totally ridiculous. I can’t think of anyone
less likely to be inappropriate!”
“Okay, then. I had
to ask.”
And I did have to
ask, but I asked with full confidence in the answers. These boys have grown up
in a parish where a priest has now been accused. The crisis that swirls in the
Church has just ripped through our own sanctuary. My sons have been altar
servers, in youth groups, in homeschool classes, and on trips with the accused
priest.
They love him. He’s
a character; a brilliant, quirky, long-winded character. He’s the guy who will
interrupt a conversation when they are talking to girls just to ask if they’ve
given any more thought to entering the seminary; the prettier the girl, the
more likely he’ll interrupt. He’s the one who took them to
New
York City
in the wake of 9/11 and takes big groups of young people
to
Israel
every summer. He’s the one who is always willing to pull up a chair and listen
to a confession, no matter where or when a teenager needs to talk. I could have
asked those questions with my heart in my throat. But I asked knowing full well
what the answer would be.
Then, I asked one
more question, just to prove the answer to myself:
“Can you remember
any time in the last seven years when you were ever even alone with Fr. B? Can
you think of anytime, anywhere, where something like this even could have happened?”
Again, the answer
was a definite no.
Mine is a parish
that protects children. The lay community understands that in order for us all
to live and pray together in an environment of mutual trust, we need to be
totally transparent. Children are never alone with a single adult. Every adult
who works with children is aware that not only do we avoid impropriety, we
avoid the appearance and the opportunity of impropriety.
There is always
grumbling about the requisite VIRTUS classes. There is always irritation that
any activity with children requires more adults than really necessary. But
there is always the security of knowing that our children are truly, truly
safe. I can look back over the last seven years at this parish, and know that it
couldn’t have happened to my boys. And for that I’m very grateful.
That security is
important right now. Without a doubt in our minds about our own children, we
can go forward and look to what will happen in our parish as the investigation
goes forward. We’ll remind our children
that Fr. B. needs our prayers. The older boys are outraged that such a charge
could be leveled against a beloved priest and we are so saddened to think of
the pain involved for so many people. They want to help. They want to know how
and why this could happen. With time, the truth will be known. For now, all
they can do is pray.
What the boys are saying.
Pray for Fr. B.
