Keep your eyes on your own work!

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There is so much curriculum conversation going on at the 4real message boards, at The Lilting House, at Karen Edmisten's blog spot, on Theresa's farm...It's happening every waking hour!

And it's great to share ideas.  But it's also a slippery slope.  We can peer into each other's homes, see all the good things happening there and start to feel very insecure--and covetous.  The truth is, we all have different gifts and abilities.  We all have different shortcomings.  We all have different temperamental nuances. We have different budgets.  And, most importantly, we all have different husbands and children.  The beauty of home education is that it's not one-size-fits-all.

What works in Leonie's home of seven boys (where some are grown and gone) might look silly in Alice's cottage of six girls and one boy, where the oldest is twelve and the youngest was born just a couple of weeks ago. In either home, if they tried to duplicate the other, a golden opportunity for a unique and beautiful education would be lost.  I can't imagine Leonie without her down-to-earth unschooling approach which is tailored so well to each and every boy, where she spends so much time talking with them and planning with them.  And I can't imagine Alice without the faith and grace and beauty and excellence that is the life and breath of the cottage and everyone in it. And I sheepishly admit to wanting to have been one or the other of them at various times over the last seven or so years.

And really, neither approach--taken in its entirety--would work very well here.  We all have the same number of children, but we are not all the same.

This is the crux of the whole thing.  Our selves and our families are God's design.  It's one of the few things we can know for certain. God made us and He knows intimately the way we are.  Furthermore, knowing the way we are, He has put people in our lives (primarily our husbands and children) to help us get to be the way He wants us to be. He gave us these children (whether by birth or adoption).  It's His plan that we educate them. And so, we can only be doing His will if we work with that whole complex of self and family together. We can glean ideas, but we can't outright copy the work of our friends. This is our own personal journey to sanctity.

That's why this time of year is so tricky:  even the veterans start comparing and looking at each other's work and they can be sorely tempted by the devil.  We have to sift all the good advice and information in light of our own family circumstances, our own kids.  If we don't discern prayerfully, the tricky Evil One quickly has a foothold on leading us astray. He will take something good, like the fine examples of our friends' home "schools," and twist it in our brains late at night and make us forget that we are not created in the image of those good ladies.  We are uniquely created in the image of God.  And so are our children. Together, we journey to heaven, choosing the tools for shaping minds and souls very carefully, because the mission is to answer God's unique call for us, and us alone.

Rosary Addiction

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A few months ago, a friend suggested we pray a daily rosary.  Actually, she suggested a fifteen decade daily rosary.  We were both tired, frustrated and stressed to the limits.  We had exhausted all the typical remedies for this state of being.  Veterans of this Catholic home education large-family lifestyle, we tweaked our diets, our exercise plans, our chore systems, our sleeping (well, we tried), our school plans.  We both changed parishes (we live two time zones apart but somehow we both were in the wrong church). All the tried and true remedies for burnout and frustration were failing us.  As our families grew and our children got bigger, the stakes went up.  We recognized that nothing on earth was "working" to gain for us that much needed peace.  Our souls were restless indeed.

All of this we shared with each other.  We hashed out all the usual solutions, we swapped meal plans and chore plans and lesson plans.  Independently, we took it to prayer.  That's when she came back with the absolute certainty that she was supposed to pray a fifteen decade rosary every day.  And she was pretty certain I was supposed to do the same.  Only glitch was that she had this revelation while I was reading Rosarium Virginis Mariae.  I was increasingly sure that I was supposed to shower my soul with the light of those five Luminous decades as well.  Fifteen for her, twenty for me.

I bought a CD so that I could turn driving time, walking time, bed time into rosary time.  Really, the Holy Spirit did the pointing and clicking this time.  I bought Praying the Rosary with St. Therese of Lisieux.

Praying the Rosary with St. Therese of Lisieux Cd

This beautiful CD has it all.  Lovely Gregorian chant in the background.  Soothing voices of prayer.  And every Hail Mary is preceded by a quote from the Little Flower.  Those quotes have worked their way into my soul, they are becoming me... or I am becoming them. Either way, through the powerful intercession of the Blessed Mother, that elusive peace is happening. 

My daughter, always looking over my shoulder as I blog, objects to the "Just for Mom" category.  She reminds me that she hears the CD all the time, too.  And she is increasingly devoted to both the Blessed Mother and the Little Flower.  Those quotes are touching her.

My friend and I exchange emails, coveting each other's decades.  All is not peace and green pastures.  Life is still happening.  And it is really, really hard sometimes. There are days when I beg her to offer all fifteen of hers to me and days when I reciprocate. We rarely pray the whole thing at the same time; instead we snatch decades throughout the day.  And maybe that is better, kind of like booster shots for the soul. We've shared some pretty amazing success stories. And we're both pretty sold on the power of ALL those decades.