Poetry Friday

I had planned to post this last Friday, but couldn't bear to sit with it at the computer.  This poem was given to all who attended Nicole's funeral.  Sadly, it is even more appropriate this Friday, as grief is compounded with the news of Joshua's death.

Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away
into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
speak to me in the easy way
Which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
That it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect.
Without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
For an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
--Canon Henry Scott Holland

Top 10 Tips When Dad's Away

This one is for Lissa...

1.  Set a time every day for a phone date.  Even with the time difference, make it happen.  What works for us when we're on different coasts is 6 AM for him in the west and 9 AM for me at home.  Breakfast is finished and I plop people in front of Signing Time for half an hour, after explaining that I'm talking to Daddy and it's very important.

2. Remember the minutia.  Some study, somewhere, proved that couples who remembered to tell each other little details of the day remained much more closely knit, despite the distance.  It's the little things that nurture the intimacy of really knowing what your life is like.  If you stop sharing the little things, eventually you stop sharing all the little thoughts.  Then, it's harder to share the bigger thoughts and suddenly, you're back together in the same state and you each have separate histories.

3. Really work a private blog.  This one goes with #2.  Before I ever had a public blog, I set up a private blog for the sole purpose of sharing the little things with people close, yet far away.  It was a place for all the silly things that our children say when Daddy is in a meeting and can't be reached by phone but you just have to tell him.  Then, when it's a really late night on the west coast and it's already the wee hours of the morning on the east coast and he misses you terribly wants to check on his family, you're there on the blog, preferably with pictures.

4.  Let your kids blog.  My children love to post things they know will be read by Daddy and they absolutely live for his comments. This is a really precious means of communication for families who are apart geographically but want to stay tightly connected.

5.  Have "Daddy rituals."  Our three-year-old calls my husband's cell phone from her bed every night to sing him the song from Love You Forever.  And then, no matter where he is or what client is sitting with him at dinner, he sings it back to her (I've never quite figured this out). On the very rare occasion that his phone doesn't work, she sings to his voice mail.  We have precious recordings of our then two-year-old lisping "As long as I'm living, my Daddy you'll be..."

6.  Make dinner every night and make yourself sit down and eat it with the children as a family just as if Daddy were home.  Our meals are noticeably simpler when Mike's not here, but they are still family dinners.  I fight the urge to get something done while they are occupied because it really seems important to them that I sit.

7. Consolidate trips out into "the real world."  My children are older now and I can usually leave them home with my eldest when I have to run errands, but not so long ago, it was the errands that killed me.  It's exhuasting to do all the running and you long for someone to call and ask if you need him to pick up a gallon of milk. See if you can trade off with a neighbor to go solo.  Otherwise, get really organized and don't let yourself run out of milk.

8.  Try to maintain social bonds.  One of the hardest things about having him gone on the weekends is that everybody, everywhere is paired up.  Your children feel his absence in the presence of everybody else's Daddy and you really feel alone in a crowd of couples.  But if someone is kind enough to invite you over without your husband, take her up on it.  It's nice to hang with grownups every once in awhile.

9. Acknowledge that you're it.  You're all alone caring for the physical and emotional safety of a small crowd.  There will be things you can't do because your time is very different from your neighbor's.  And there will be things only your husband understands because no one else can empathize so well.  Write it all down and talk about it during the next phone call.  And then, be sure you sleep.

10.  Seriously consider a twenty decade rosary.  Take it from me and the lady who was pregnant with her eighth baby the entire time her husband was in Iraq, there is no other way to survive. Play the CD as you go to sleep and fall asleep praying.  It doesn't matter if you don't finish your decades and it's way better than crying when your head hits the pillow.

*11. (sneaking this one in) Phone a friend.  You've got the number.

Art in the Garden

What a lovely surprise we had yesterday as we peeked oustide the sunroom window during breakfast!  Sunflowers!  After our trip down the garden trail, Nicholas and Katie have been eagerly awaiting the blooming of the sunflowers.  They were inspired by Camille and the Sunflowers to drag the easel outside and paint those big, beautiful flowers just as soon as they began to bloom. Yesterday was the day!

The Plan for Christian

I want to thank Typepad from the bottom of my laundry basket.  After I spent hours very early yesterday morning and carefully saved a draft of this post, Typepad published it for me, complete with all kinds of technical glitches, and then it was utterly inaccessible all day.  The house is much cleaner and I had a heaping, helping dose of humility as you all got to see a very raw post.  I'm trying again and hoping that the formatting and the links work this time.

This summer, I'm looking carefully at each child and planning specifically for them in detail.  While we will certainly study lots of things together, I'm beginning with individual plans this year.  The exercise has been good for me.  I really enjoy considering each individual and marveling in his or her uniqueness. Because he has been so much on my mind, I started with Christian, who is fourteen and technically an eight grader.

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Math

Turbo Twist handheld --nothing like a nifty gadget for boring car trips!

Christian will work his way through the Touchmath upper grades program.  This is a program that is used extensively with children who have visual processing disabilities.  Though it’s been primarily limited to schools heretofore, the learning disabilities experts at Touchmath were extremely helpful in working with me to create a wholly appropriate program for Christian. I promise much more on this in later blogs.  I just watched the training video yesterday and I'm pretty excited about the concept and thinking I might use it for my little ones as well...

We will also provide a talking desktop calculator. Auditory cues will help reinforce keystroke accuracy and correct mistakes.

Processing support/improvement

BrainBuilder is a "neurobic", computer-based training program that is designed to assess and build auditory and visual sequential processing abilities. In an intensive series of adaptive, interactive exercises, BrainBuilder trains the brain to expand its ability to sequentially process auditory and visual information.

When working independently, Christian will listen to “Music for Concentration.” (He's not thrilled about this but he does want something to screen the outside noise and the research on Baroque music and concentration is really compelling. This CD uses streamlined baroque masterpieces to sharpen focus and enhance mental endurance.

Language Arts

Handwriting:  Christian will continue to use the Handwriting Without Tears series and the AVKO keyboarding program (a program for dyslexics that reinforces word attack skills and spelling patterns while teaching keyboarding skills). 

Spelling:  Because spelling is traditionally presented in a visual manner, Christian will not use a traditional spelling program to strengthen his spelling skills.  Instead, we will draw upon his strength in word attack and phonics skills to teach spelling from an auditory perspective, using The Phonetic Zoo, a phonetically based auditory spelling program.  When Christian looks at a word, he sees it as a whole. But spelling is sequential, and the correct sequence can be missed when seen as a whole, particularly because he cannot rely on visual memory to retrieve the word. Spelling the word out loud, letter by letter, will convert the input to auditory input and aid in accurate storage of the correct sequence in the brain.

We’ll continue using AVKO spelling as well.

Literature:  Christian will study literature and grammar typical for the eighth and ninth grades using videos to help comprehension. 

To Kill a Mockingbird and 24 More Videos is a program that will enable him to watch video productions of great books and still get the literary nuances. Videos are democratic in their range and depth. Most, if not all, students can understand the focus, the message of a video even when they might not pick up on the rhythm and nuance of the written language. That doesn’t mean the written language is not important - but a well-made movie based on a classic work of literature can make that literary work accessible to children for whom reading is a struggle.

The extension activities will include short answer questions, vocabulary activities, true and false, comparisons, essays, paragraphs, fill in the blanks, songs, writing fables or short stories, basic grammar concepts (homonyms/antonyms etc, adverb phrases, verb tenses)  symbolism, inferences, character analysis. Most of that I expect to do with him orally.
He will read high quality picture books aloud daily to his younger siblings for no less than a half hour, broken into fifteen minute increments, to increase his oral reading fluency and build his confidence. He really likes to spend time with the little boys in particular and they idolize him. I'm noticing that Stephen (7) is really struggling to read, despite being a very hard worker.  I want him to have lots of read-aloud time.  Christian can get practice in oral expression and he can help me to provide more story time. This will be good for everyone.

Composition: Writing is very important to Christian.  He has spent hours writing a novel on his own. He chooses to write for pleasure, as long as no one has assigned it and no one is watching. While the conventions of punctuation and spelling are missing, the story is amazingly complex and beautifully written. We spend time together daily proofing and editing.  He is publishing it in installments on his blog.   He has a regular audience of enthusiastic readers which is really increasing his confidence and helping to hone some of those interpersonal skills.

Science:  Christian will study Life Science this year using Lyrical Life Science .This multi-sensory program, which has a core audio-component, will allow him to memorize typical eighth grade science facts more easily. Mostly, though, he will do nature rabbit rails with the rest of us. He will also continue his extensive gardening projects and the maintenance of a family nature journal on the computer (using the camera and writing to record his observations ). His goal this year is to build several different wildlife habitats and to have our yard certified as a Backyard Habitat by the National Wildlife Federation. He is registered with the NWF and has set up a planner specific for our yard on their website .

Religion:  Christian will listen to saints’ stories on CD and narrate them orally to me to record and save the summaries in a notebook.  He will continue to memorize the catechism and to participate in all our family-centered Catholic Mosaic projects.

History: Christian will continue to pursue his love of history, reading historical fiction and listening to it in audiobook format, as well as watching the History Channel. He has chosen the subject matter for this year because he considers it “research” for his novel. Together, we will work through a complete ancient history course to include the audio version History of the World, the classic D’Aulaire’s Greek myths on audiotape, and Odds Bodkin’s stunning rendition of The Odyssey on audio.

He will read the following books and narrate the chapters orally.  Because Christian brings a great deal of background knowledge and an intense interest to this subject matter, I have little doubt that he can handle the reading material. These are all in our personal collection and he has heard many of them read aloud. This familiarity will aid the silent reading.

D'Aulaire's Book of Norse Myths

Beorn the Proud (Polland)

Sword Song (Sutcliff)

Nordic Gods and Heroes (Colum)

Brendan the Navigator (Fritz)

Archimedes and the Door of Science (Bendick)

Between the Forest and the Hills (Lawrence) 

Black Ships BeforeTroy(Sutcliff)

Ides of April (Ray)

Fingal’s Quest (Polland)

Foreign Language: While the requirement for a foreign language has been waived, Christian will continue to build his repertoire of American Sign Language vocabulary with the rest of his family, using the Signing Time DVDS, a multi-sensory approach to sign language.

Much to his relief, Latin study will be limited to the memorization of roots.