Beautiful Joy: for you

Today's post is the gift of Hallie Lord, also known as the beloved Betty Beguiles, and author of the soon-to-be-released Style, Sex, and Substance. I'm so pleased to have Hallie grace this space and I'm glad you'll get to consider what she's got to say this morning. As Disney Magic would have it, today's my birthday. After I have lunch with princesses (four of whom share a home with me), I think I'll find a little something pretty in Downtown Disney...

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Over the past couple of years I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting upon and writing about the importance of self-care. Far too often I see good, faithful women neglecting themselves for fear of vanity or self-indulgence--a fear that is understandable given the state of our culture. It seemed to me that what had been lost was an appreciation for the value of putting our best foot forward for the sake of effective Christian witness, for nurturing the sexual-love aspect of our marriages, and for showing our children how much we value our vocation.

For a long time something nagged at me, though. It’s not that I disagreed with what I was advocating for, but a quiet voice suggested that maybe I’d missed something. Maybe the list was not complete.

And, indeed, I had. And it wasn’t.

I’d considered husbands and children and the world at large but I’d forgotten about you. And I’d forgotten about me.

Somewhere amid my list of reasons to polish, primp, and pamper should have been an encouragement to do these things simply for pleasure’s sake.

I don’t mind admitting that I’m a girlie girl through and through. During the more chaotic phases of life, though, even I start to view self-care (of the physical variety) as just one more item to cross of the to-do list as quickly as possible. Gone is the pleasure I usually find in painting my nails, doing my hair, and picking out the perfect shade of lipstick. Who has the time or energy for such indulgences?

I was reminded of just how much joy there is to be found in these things as I watched my three sweet small girls celebrate Christmas. I was struck by the glee with which they sought out their most beautiful dresses for Mass on Christmas Eve, the quiet delight they found in brushing one another’s hair with the new hairbrushes that they found tucked into their stockings, and the long hot bubble baths they insisted upon on Christmas afternoon.

My daughters aren’t yet old enough to recognize that there might be value in doing any of these things for the benefit of others; they do them simply because they realize that which is easy for us busy Moms to forget: God created them (and us) for joy and the enjoyment of simple pleasures is their (and our) right.

Pain and suffering are our constant companions in this fallen world. They are companions that are rich in value and should never be considered worthless. But so, too, is joy. I forget that sometimes amid the seemingly endless responsibilities that come with young motherhood.

As I watched my girls innocently savor their loveliness and delight in their baubles and baths, I was reminded once again that I must “change and become like the little children.” In spite of all suffering--and sometimes because of all suffering--there is joy. It comes in a million varieties and will manifest itself differently for everyone but, always, there is joy. We need only accept it.

If never occurs to young children that they should reject simple pleasures in favor of toil. Though hard work and discipline have their place, we adults can learn something from the young who never agonize over whether it’s prudent for them to rest and play. They play because God calls them to play. It’s as simple and as perfect as that.

It was an innocent mistake, but as I watched my daughter’s frolic on Christmas Day it dawned on me that my recent lack of appreciation for these simple pleasures was ultimately a rejection of God’s love for me. The only reason I have ever found any joy whatsoever in the things I do with is because He desired that I should and offered them to me as a gift of love. With the new year dawning, I am resolving to surrender more fully. When God calls me to work, I will work. And when he calls me to play, I will play--without any of the guilt or distraction that has inhibited me in the past from fully savoring His many gifts.

On a Monday at Disney World

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

In a place like Disney World, where the evidence of imagination and creativity is so strikingly present, it's ridiculously easy to see how we are created in the image of the Creator. God imbued in us a certain creativity. And when we use that gift to its greatest potential, it's better than "magical." 

::listening to 

the hum of the air conditioner in the quiet of a dark hotel building. It's been days since I've written and I've seen and heard and felt so many things that my mind is awhirl. I promised myself I'd stay away from the keyboard these two weeks, but yesterday, in the midst of a crushing crowd and more sights and sounds than I could absorb, every fiber of my being wanted at least a pencil and paper to record, and yes, probably to process, what I was seeing and hearing and feeling. 

::clothing myself in 

my Ergo. I almost didn't bring it. My "baby" is three; why would I bring the baby carrier? I'm so crazy glad I did. When we get to the park in the morning, Sarah is extremely clingy. She wants to wrap her arms tightly around my neck and she needs to stay there for the first couple of hours. Then, as the day goes on, she separates. At the end of the day, when she knows we're leaving, and again transitioning, she's back to her chokehold. As much as I love the feel of her arms around me, I am fairly certain the elbow doctor would frown upon me carrying her that way as we walk briskly through miles of amusement park.The Ergo makes it work beautifully. My little pocket pouch in the front is filled with bandaids and blister packs (we haven't needed them), Salponas patches, hand sanitizer, granola bars and trail mix, and my key to the Kingdom. We're good to go; she plays Roo to my Kanga for just a little while longer. I am so grateful for every minute. 

Rapunzel told her that she looks just like her when she was a little girl. 

::giving thanks for

my good man, who has worked very hard to make this once-in-a-lifetime vacation possible. He's been an endless font of patience and goodwill from the moment we left home and he's made this whole vacation as "magical" as it was promised to be. {And I'm grateful for the company for which he works. I'm so impressed with every little, thoughtful detail. It's good to be a part of the Disney cast.}

::pondering prayerfully

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.-- St. Thomas Aquinas 

::turning the pages of this book

The Creative Habit. Disney World is a great place to be reading a creativity book. Lots of thoughts to ponder as I walk and walk and walk and devour the fruits of someone else's creative habits. 

::thinking thoughts as I go about my daily round

I am acutely aware that my large family vacation days are numbered. Michael didn't make this trip with us. We were a party of ten for several truly beautiful days. And then, Patrick and Christian went home to start the winter term. I admit to crying behind my sunglasses as they left us in the park yesterday. It won't be the same without them. And  I wonder when my heart will stop hurting so at the goodbyes. Such a lot of goodbyes. I'm guessing never.

::creating by hand

I stitched on a pillow cover all the way down here, just sweet square from Loulouthi Needleworks. I'm nearly finished now, just working a tiny bit every night before sleep. I'm glad to have found needlework this year. I'm proud of myself for choosing projects I know will take a long time. I'm deliberately slowing myself and overcoming my tendency to hurtle at prime efficient speed throughout my days. Sometimes, what appears efficient is less effective because much is lost in the hurry.

::learning lessons in

Disney. Layer upon layer, there is so much to this place. At every turn, I am amazed and inspired and truly awed. Here, there is tangible proof that something can be well-managed, beautiful, disciplined, and outrageously fun at the same time. Disney should offer mom getaways--intensive boot-camps where we can learn creative management tips and techniques Disney-style and then bring a little magic home to our households. I'm so not kidding. 

::encouraging learning 

There is no doubt that there is much here that is educational and we're soaking up just a small fraction of it. The real life education is abundant, too. Family vacations can bring out the best and the worst in families. The negatives are magnified, if they exist, and it doesn't take long for them to break down the fiber of the family and create discord. On the other hand, a healthy family thrives in a vacation setting and learns to appreciate the gift of happy family all the more. I'm happy to report that we are thriving.

::on blogging and recording

I'm creating memories here, giving my full time and attention to actually doing and saying and hearing and tasting and touching the memorable. I sent a desperate email to Ginny the first night we were here and confessed that I was more than a little hesitant to carry my camera into the park. I had already talked to Sarah and tried to cram a photo class into an afternoon phone call. Essentially, I knew that my pictures would never adequately capture our experiences. Ginny wrote, "enjoy Disney--and really--there is no real way to capture the magic of Disneyworld with a camera.  It's a feeling." I felt like I'd received dispensation. If she says it can't be done, then it can't be done. I resolved instead to focus on details and to try to capture some of the things that made me stop and wonder at the wonder of it all. I am creating memories here, but there's a good chance I'm not ever going to adequately record them.

::carefully cultivating rhythm

Our days have a rhythm of sorts and Mike and I are very conscious of the need to balance the quiet and restful with the noisy and exciting. We are staying in a villa with a kitchen (and a laundry closet, thank goodness). We are able to retreat in a place of utter beauty. Yes, Virginia, I have used my camera to snap pictures of home design ideas here in the hotel. I love it here. If my big boys were here, it would be perfect. And maybe my sewing machine, too. I miss my sewing machine.

::begging prayers

for peace, patience, and safety. And now, especially, for those big kids. It's hard to be this far away from them as their semester begins.

::planning for the week ahead

• Disney
• Disney (Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm having lunch with princesses, mine and Walt Disney's.)
• Disney
• Disney
• The beach at Ponte Vedra and a bit more of grandma and Aunt Lisette
• The long drive home...

Pinning it Down

today's guest post is a gift from the always lovely Sarah, who, together with Pam, has come up with an awesome, sure-to-catch-on idea. Since it was Pam who sucked me in introduced me to Pinterest, I'm pretty excited to jum pon this bandwagon with them.

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Are you on Pinterest yet? You don't need me to tell you the 1,000 reasons you need to get on there, right? The visual inspiration, the overflow of ideas, the organized, systematic way of pinning those ideas onto boards that fit into your life so you easily retrieve them? Can I stop now, or would you like me to go on? ;) I've only been on Pinterest since October, but I love it. My only bone to pick so far is this: it's very easy to get into the habit of pinning a million ideas without actually doing any of them. It's one thing to pin something neat you found online- it's something totally different to step away from the screen and actually make it happen. My friend Pam recently mentioned her wish that someone start an Internet link up, a weekly show-and-tell for those of us who pin and need a little extra nudge to make some of the goodies we have saved happen in real life. I thought it was a brilliant idea! (And that's all the credit I can take. Pam came up with the idea, the name, and the super cute graphic to go along with it. I just get to hostess the first link-up and pretend like it was my idea all along). :)

We're calling our new link-up Pinning it Down, and we're co-hosting (one Tuesday at Amongst Lovely Things, the next at Everyday Snapshots). All you have to do to play along is pick something you've pinned, do it, blog a little somethin' about it, and link up. It will be fun to see some of those ideas come to life in all of our homes and on our blogs.

It doesn't have to be perfect, spectacular, or elaborate in any way. It just has to be DONE. And who among us couldn't use the satisfaction that comes from having completed a project? I don't know about you, but I think it will be very motivating to see some of those great pins fly off my screen and into my house. The first link-up is this Tuesday, January 10th over at Amongst Lovely Things. We hope to see you there! Go pick something simple from your pinboards, make it happen, and join us on Tuesday. We can't wait to see what you've been up to. (P.S. If you aren't on Pinterest, feel free to email me at amongstlovelythings [at] gmail [dot] com so I can send you an invitation. And if you have trouble registering because you don't have a facebook or twitter account, don't worry- I don't either! I created a Twitter account for the sole purpose of getting onto Pinterest, and then I promptly deleted the Twitter account. Use that option if you need it.)

In His Presence

Today's post is a gift from Colleen Mitchell. Words won't adequately capture the gift Colleen is to me and the way our lives have been inextricably intertwined. Just as I am happy to welcome her back to the blogosphere, my heartstrings are tugging as the physical distance between us increases. Please pray with me for Mitchell family as they answer God's call and once again become the Mission Family.

It's been more than a year since I stepped away from the blogging world. I can't tell you an exact reason. I had lived out some of the most joyous as well the most difficult moments of my life in the little space I called Footprints on the Fridge. And I chronicled a lot of ordinary every days there too. And it was a good thing.  And then there came an extended time away with no internet access and a life that required every bit of energy and effort I had just to be lived. The path of the last year has been a rocky one with many fits and starts. It quieted me. And it was a good thing.

The Band of Brothers Christmas 2011

We have waited on the Lord to open a door and show us the way He has planned for us. We have longed for Him in our waiting. We have struggled. We have grown. We have faced great challenges and known great joys.  And we have lived, as always, a lot of ordinary every days.  In the last year, we formed our own foundation in the name of our little saint, the St. Bryce Foundation and begged God to use us and him to show people the way back to Christ.  We have engaged in many worthwhile ministry events in our own diocese.  And then, in recent months, an opportunity has arisen for us to return to service in the foreign mission field through the sponsorship of a parish in our diocese.

Grano de Oro, Costa Rica with Volcan Turrialba in the Background

In the middle of January, we will step on a plane with that merry band of brothers in tow and head to Grano de Oro, Costa Rica where we will assist the two pastors of the San Juan Diego mission in their work with the parish mission as well as 30 or more indigenous communities in the outlying mountainous region.  Many of you will be excited to know that our mission is in the very diocese where the much beloved story of Juanita and the apparition of Our Lady of the Angels took place in Cartago.  We will visit her shrine there to dedicate this mission to her. You can see more about the mission in the video presentation on our web site.

The Shrine of Our Lady of the Angels, Cartago, Costa Rica

In addition that great news, there is the joy that I will be thirteen weeks pregnant when we depart.  God has done amazing things to bring us to this place and I cannot deny His goodness or His faithfulness.

We have spent Advent preparing and packing and pondering some tough decisions regarding our departure.  I have spent a good part of the Christmas season exhausted and nauseous.  Needless to say, there has been very little predictable routine around here. And I long for it. I long for peaceful days and fresh air and an understanding on all our parts of how fill our days with good and holy things.  As I have pondered the start of another year and the tradition widely promulgated on the 'net of picking a word for the New Year, I cannot escape the desperate longing for a rhythm that reaches for all that is good and beautiful and holy as we seek to serve Him with our whole lives.  I want a way to sharpen the focus of our days and make them uniquely purposeful.  And I want that focus to be so universal that it can transition from the handful of days we have left here to our mission life and home through the length of a pregnancy and birth of a new baby.  I readily admit it is not easily summed up in one word.

Mass in a Cabecar Indian Village

So I set about trying to articulate what I think God is asking us to set our hearts on in this coming year so that our ordinary every days are filtered through the lens of His extraordinary presence, gratitude for His great gifts and stewardship of the call to serve His people at the ends of the earth. Rather than a schedule or school plans or chore charts (all of which will probably come), I want to endeavor to prioritize these things in our every days:

1. Adore the Lord.
2. Share the Good News.
3. Create something of beauty with your hands.
4. Read something of spiritual value and something of literary merit.
5. Breathe fresh air and move your body.
6. Work diligently at some task and complete it with excellence.
7. Exercise the logical, reasoning, calculating side of your brain.
8. Slow down to savor some special moment and thank Him for it.
9. Write something in your own handwriting. Seek to make it precise and perfect.
10. Speak to your Heavenly Mother and holy companions.
11. Challenge yourself in some way.
12. Sleep well.

An Indian Village in the Mountains Outside of Grano de Oro

In asking myself if it was possible to set upon one word that would encapsulate this list and bring it back to mind quickly when I need to refocus, I thought of our family's main missionary commitment to spend an hour every day in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.  And I realized that is just what God is asking of us this year -- PRESENCE. We will sit in His presence. We will bring a missionary presence to His people in Grano de Oro.  We will live present to the extraordinary moments of grace I know God has in store for us this year.  We will live present to one another and to the world around us.  And we will train our minds and hands to be present to all that is good and lovely in the work and learning of every day.  And I will be present once more on the wide, wide web. I will blog this new endeavor and renewed life at this new space.  I hope you will join me there every now and then. Your presence is welcomed and your prayers are appreciated.  Please drop by and let me know your word for the new year or your prayer intentions. I will bring them all with me to Our Lady's Shrine upon our arrival in Costa Rica.

Adoring the Newborn King After Christmas Vigil

I Wish I'd Brought a Camera

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.  Photo capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Usually, Friday is for {this moment}. This Friday, though, the moment is in my memory and my words will have to capture the image.

Mary Beth and I made a considered decision not to bring the camera on our first day at Disney. We both wanted to live in the moment and not to look at the day through the lens. I'm mostly glad we decided to do it that way--we were giving all our managements systems their first tests and the camera was one fewer thing to consider. There is one moment though that is an image I do want to keep forever.

All day, Patrick was making me (and everyone else) a little nuts. Every kid has his or her own way of absorbing the sensory stimulation of Disney. Even though it's all good, it's still stressful. Patrick processes through his feet. It's the weirdest thing. A little bit of elbow action, but mostly feet--kicking things, jostling, navigating  through space as if he were on a soccer field. For the most part, it was Nicky who paid the price. Every time, I turned around, Paddy was tripping, bumping, or otherwise jostling Nicky. I tend to be overprotective of Nicky--he's in a tough spot because he's the youngest of five super-competitive boys. And I  try mostly unsuccessfully to mitigate the big brother teasing. Frankly, I was really ready to wring Patrick's neck.

At the end of the day, all the kids were gathered at a railing overlooking the lake watching the light show at Epcot. I walked up between Patrick and Mary Beth and told Patrick  that at the end of the show I wanted him to take Karoline firmly by the hand. Mary Beth was assigned Katie. Mike would carry Sarah. It was really dark and I wanted to impress upon Paddy the seriousness of his assignment. I told him that more children are lost in the dark after the Epcot light show that anywhere else at any other time. His ears perked up. "Where'd you hear that?" he asked

"I read it in the guide book." Instant credibility.

When the show ended, the plan abruptly changed. Christian scooped Sarah up onto his shoulders. Mary Beth plopped Karoline in the stroller and buckled her in. And Patrick knocked up against Nicholas and locked his arms firmly around his shoulders. Then, he gathered Stephen into himself with his other arm. He held them tightly against his body the whole long walk to the parking tram. There is no doubt that under the guise of a headlock, he was all big brother. I walked behind them all the way and soaked up the sight of his strong, protective arms, wishing I could capture the image. 

No one got lost.