Gathering My Thoughts

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

Something rather large had its way with my garden a couple days ago. From the trampling and the tracks and the height of the leaves that are gone, I suspect a deer. If you could see where I live, you’d know why this hard to wrap my brain around. It’s just not that rural at all. That was one very audacious (or lost) deer.

::listening to 

the ceiling fan. I’m in Charlottesville this morning, enjoying quiet in the morning before a really busy day.

::clothing myself in 

Today, I’ll wear a white eyelet shirt and a khaki colored skirt. I’ve packed a gauzy scarf that sort of ties it all together, but it’s going to be ninety degrees and humid. So, we’ll see about that scarf.

::talking with my children about these books

Let the book discussions begin in abundance. Tomorrow is our first official day of the term and it’s going to be a Storybook Year.

::thinking and thinking

About transitions.

::pondering 

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn

::carefully cultivating rhythm

I’ve worked really hard to plan for this school year. An actual schedule, subject-by-subject? That’s going to have to grow organically. I sense there will be undue demand on the two laptops we have and on the new iPad. Several of our planned subjects are computer-dependent. And there will be some demand on Mom, too. So, we’re just going to have to see how it all sifts out. The first day is always tricky.

::creating by hand

We did some back-to-school sewing—a couple of pretty notebooks covers and I finally got around to helping Kari finish a pillowcase she started long ago. I still need to make headbands for Karoline’s dance company before dance begins next week. And then there are draperies for the dance studio.

::learning lessons in

a new season of life.

::encouraging learning 

I have everything all keyed in Homeschool Helper. We'll see how it goes.

::begging prayers

for the repose of the soul of my beloved Aunt Ida, who died yesterday.

for all the intentions of our prayer community.

And yes, for that intention I was keeping quiet; it’s still very close to my heart.

::keeping house

I had hoped to have the basement perfectly clean by the time school started. It’s not. Christian’s room is perfect and the bathroom is very clean (and in need of a contractor), but the rest is still happening slowly. My new goal is to have it clean by the time Colleen visits early next month.

::crafting in the kitchen 

My freezer is nearly stocked. This “stocked” status is actually far fewer meals than when the same freezer was stocked previously. I’ve been freezing in glass jars because I’m trying not to use plastic. Zipper freezer bags laid flat are far, far more space saving. It’s a conundrum because this glass thing isn’t terribly efficient.

::loving the moments

when, after three and half hours wait time at DMV, Mary Beth got her driver’s license. Oh, happy day! She promptly scrubbed the spare car clean of all big brother evidence and volunteered to go to the grocery store and the dry cleaner and the hardware store and the ...

::giving thanks 

for a healthy heartbeat!

living the liturgy

Making plans to celebrate all those favorite feasts of fall (lots of links there).

::planning for the week ahead

I am in Charlottesville this morning, headed to Harrisonburg at noon, then back to Charlottesville for soccer tonight. Tomorrow, we begin our new term. There will be a visit to National Zoo. And then, there's soccer in Fredericksburg and Richmond at the end of the week. If nothing else, these litttle girls are truly getting to know Virginia.

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

{Soccer parks have come a long way in the last twenty years.}

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.} 

Gospel

Luke 14:1, 7-14

On a sabbath Jesus went to dine
at the home of one of the leading Pharisees,
and the people there were observing him carefully.

He told a parable to those who had been invited,
noticing how they were choosing the places of honor at the table.
“When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet,
do not recline at table in the place of honor. 
A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him,
and the host who invited both of you may approach you and say,
‘Give your place to this man,’
and then you would proceed with embarrassment
to take the lowest place. 
Rather, when you are invited,
go and take the lowest place
so that when the host comes to you he may say,
‘My friend, move up to a higher position.’
Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table. 
For every one who exalts himself will be humbled,
but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” 
Then he said to the host who invited him,
“When you hold a lunch or a dinner,
do not invite your friends or your brothers
or your relatives or your wealthy neighbors,
in case they may invite you back and you have repayment.
Rather, when you hold a banquet,
invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind;
blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you.
For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Think

Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being little. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must first be its foundation. Modest humility is beauty's crown.

~ St. Augustine

Pray

Lord, help me think of myself less.

(Credit C.S. Lewis who said, "True humility is not thinking less of yourself but of yourself less." Easy to memorize; easy to pray.)

Act

Is there a job in your house that someone you love does regularly, but also regularly dislikes? Do that job for him today and doen't say a word about it. Just smile.

How can we pray for you this week?

{this moment}

needle & thREAD

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Katie and I did some sewing yesterday, but I can't show you yet because they're a surprise. I do think a sweet girl and her doll will be very pleased. Katie's skills have improved greatly this summer--all those headbands proved to be great teaching tools. Good thing, too. We have 14 more to make. Yesterday's project was a perfect opportunity to practice French seams. Katie was duly impressed with tidy seams inside the dress. 

I really enjoyed sewing while listening to Simple Mom podcasts. What a retreat for me! And Katie loved listening along. Bonus: I've discovered some fun new-to-me blogs, which, in turn, prompted me to give feedly.com a try after about six months of blog reading hiatus. Win, win, win!

I've got three books going right now. The Homegrown Preschooler is a gorgeous book full of full color photographs that captivated some of us right away. Karoline squirreled away with it for hours. I have spent enough time on soccer fields and in dance studios to know that some (many?) moms are very worried about the best preschool environment for their children. They invest a lot of time and energy and money into assuring that preschool gives a child a leg up on school and life. This book reassures a mom that an intentional mom and comfortable home can get the job done just fine. 

I ordered The Introvert's Way after I read this article. I think the aritcle is spot-on. It's really an excellent insight into and introvert's mind. I am disappointed with book the book so far. It's not nearly as thoughtful, well-researched, and insightful as Quiet is. I much prefer the meatiness of Quiet over the breeziness of The Introvert's Way.

Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child was recommended by Sarah about a milion times. Sarah is about batting a thousand on book recommendations throughout the years so that worked for me. My kids were utterly confused about the title, by the way. The more literal they are, the more confused. This is an amazing book in the truest sense of the word; just really top notch. Brilliantly written, incredibly thought-provoking, and potentially life-changing. This is the perfect book for the beginning of a school year because while it certainly encourages us to develop imaginations in our children, it points out how ours might possibly have been squelched and inspires us to revive it. Truly great read.

What are you reading and sewing this week? 

I am eager to hear!

  Or are you embroidering? Pulling a needle with thread through lovely fabric to make life more beautiful somehow? Would you share with us just a single photo (or more) and a brief description of what you're up to? Will you tell us about what you're reading, also? Would you talk sewing and books with us? I'd love that so much.

    Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and theREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and theREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link:-).

And off they go! But your job isn't finished, Mom:-)

The sun sinks into the mountains behind us as we drive away.Goodbyes are said. The van heads home a whole lot lighter. One seat is empty where just a few hours ago it was full. Clearly, we are well entrenched in this new season of life—the season of goodbyes. We first sent a child to college six years ago. He returned home a graduate and then lived with us a couple of years while he worked to save money. We said goodbye unexpectedly three years ago when a child left at fifteen to take up residency in Florida with the U.S. National Team. We had four days to prepare for that leavetaking. He, too, returned.

For awhile, all nine children lived under one roof.

 

Late last December, the eldest left home again. Hard-earned money invested in a home of his own, he took a wife and left our home to create a family of his own. Two weeks later, his brother left for college. Yesterday, another brother followed. “The big boys,” as they’ve been called collectively since the youngest was two, have all gone. It’s eerily quiet in my house this morning, though six children remain.

I think it a happy liturgical blessing that the Church prepares for the feasts of St. Monica and St. Augustine in the last weeks of summer. Just as we send our children out into the world—whether to kindergarten or college—we have the reassurance that comes with praying novenas for the intercession of a mother-son pair whose faith is breathtaking.

St. Monica is the mother of St. Augustine. Her story is so worth the time of every mother. The brief version is that Monica was the wife of a pagan, who had a violent temper and a problem with alcohol. His mother was a difficult, irritable woman, who lived with the couple. Monica bore them patiently and with kindness. She prayed for their conversions and ultimately, they both died Christians.

Monica was also the mother of least three children who survived infancy. Augustine, her eldest, was a bit of a handful. He was a wild child who sorely tested her limits with immoral living and heretical philosophies. Monica stayed close to him and prayed mightily for his conversion. In the end, St. Augustine, under the direction of St. Ambrose, was baptized and grew into his vocation as one the greatest saints ever and a Doctor of the Church.

As I’ve witnessed the grief of mothers as they send their children off to school, I’ve noticed several things. The first is that every woman comes to this time a little differently. For some women, the grief is wide and deep and raw. I’ve seen that this is not the case for everyone. Unfortunately, a woman who aches cannot assume she will be supported and consoled. There is the real possibility that someone will scoff. This is unfortunate, because mothers do need community. The experience of launching a child into the world is not unlike the experience of childbirth. Birthing became a much happier, more humane experience when women began to share collective experiences and to advocate for measures that would bring comfort and support. So, too, we need to empathize with one another in the transition and the sending forth of our children from homes.

 

I’ve listened intently to other women this time around. Eyes wide open and ears alert, I’ve noticed a trend. Mothers worry that they haven’t done enough. As her daughter leaves for college, you give a mom a hug and assure her that she’s done a good job and all will be well and she returns your well-intentioned words of encouragement with wild-eyed panic. She worries. She worries about all the conversations they never got around to having. She worries about all the lessons in faith she never taught. She worries about all the moments of instruction and guidance and reassurance that slipped through her fingers. Was it enough? Did she do enough? Now that her job is over, will everything be ok? Sometimes, the grief upon leaving is commensurate with a mother’s fear that she has somehow failed to adequately prepare her child for the day of departure.

We are certain—because we know our child so well and we love her so fiercely—that it is not enough. We are certain that we’ve forgotten something. There’s more to do, more to say, more to love. And there is.

Here’s a hint, mom. It’s not over.

We don’t stop mothering when they leave home. God’s not finished and neither are you. St. Monica prayed for her son for seventeen years after she kicked him out of her house. She stuck close. He left Tagaste for Rome and she followed him there. She stay tuned into him, engaged in his life, and was prayerfully incessant. She wasn’t a nagging mother (or nagging wife, for that matter). Instead, she was a faith-filled servant of God who never stopped loving and was relentless in her firm resolve to live the Gospel. She was a teacher, a role model, and an agent of change in the conversion of people she loved well past their childhoods.

It’s not over.

It’s not too late. You aren’t finished mothering. Indeed, in many ways, it’s just begun. One of the saddest stories I’ve ever known is the story told by a grown woman whose parents were “finished” when they left her at college. They considered their “jobs” done. It’s not a job. It’s a vocation. Parenting is for a lifetime. In this age of entitlement, one thing is certain. If there is anything—anything—to which a grown child is entitled, it is the ongoing prayers of his parents and the sweet assurance that they will forever hold him tightly in their hearts. Whatever lies ahead, no matter where he goes and what he does, no matter the challenges, we will dedicate ourselves with confidence to the gentle kindness and firmness of conviction that St. Monica brought to mothering adult children.