Friendship and Fear

In the wake of that ferocious storm a couple of weeks ago, all phone service was down, but the internet was working. I clicked on Facebook and searched a dear friend's name in order to send her a message about plans for the day. Her name didn't pop up. I clicked on my friends list. Her name wasn't there.

I felt my blood run cold. I mentally ran through every word of the previous conversation we'd had. My pulse quickened and tears sprung to my eyes. "Oh, please, God, not her. And not again. Please, not again."  Please join me at MomHeart to read the rest…



  1. says

    Elizabeth, reading about the ‘cell’ really hit home with me. This was beautiful and reminded me also what kind of friend I want to be. It is hard to set oneself up for more hurt but God wants us to put ourselves out there. I have a hard time with this. Thank you! ;)

  2. says

    I can’t believe I’m going to admit this “out loud” on the internet, but I have never in my life had a friend like the good ones you describe, even though I try to be that friend, and listen and never hurt, and am there waiting happily when and if people want to be friends again. It is crushingly painful. Thank you for taking your thoughts to their proper end, that if we seek first the kingdom of God, all these things will be given us, in His timing. Here I sit and wait.

  3. Katherine says

    Amy, I haven’t either. I have girlfriends, but not really close ones like Elizabeth speaks of. I blame it on my introverted, reserved temperment. My closest and best friend is my husband.

  4. Kim says

    I have a question, totally off subject. I have three children and two sisters. Both sisters are infertile. One has adopted domestically and has found that motherhood can begin at birth. My other sister is going through in vitro fertilization this week. She understands I feel it is wrong, but I love the person and judge only the action. My question is – what would you pray for in this situation? Yesterday’s embryos (I call them babies)thawed but didn’t progress in developing. The doctor has thawed the final few today. My insides are screaming “you may already be a mother with souls in heaven!” But my heart feels her grief and hope. I know where there is hope, there is God. Faith, Hope and Love… I have prayed that one of these babies will grow for the Glory of God, if it be His Will. What should I pray for – not in big picture, but in the picture today (with babies thawing!) Is it wrong to hope that these babies will develope? I need all of your advice, thank you!

  5. says

    Kim, I think I’d pray for the grace and strength and mercy that God wants so much to pour out on you and your sister and those babies. “His will be done. Let us all be instruments of his will.” Blessings to you; please keep us posted.

  6. says

    Amy, I’ve been thinking about you all day. I so understand that pain. My family moved a lot when I was a child because my dad was in the Navy. There is just one person from K-8 that I even keep in touch with today. And the only high school girlfriend I correspond with with any regularity is my husband’s twin sister. From that point on, there are fewer than five women who fit in my description. I know how blessed I am to have them. I do understand loneliness and I’m praying for you!

  7. Kirstin says

    Thank you for putting into words many of my frustrations and feelings with friendships over the past several years. About 11 years ago, two of my close friends moved. I haven’t been able to find other close friends since, not for lack of trying. It is amazing how painful it is not to have close friends but I will keep looking.

  8. Marianne says

    Dear Elizabeth,
    Your words are so beautifully written and touching. Thank God that I have fabulous, faithful friends and have not suffered because of them. However, my sister and her family have cut off from me and my Dad and siblings and your article hit home and gave words to many of my feelings. I tried to ask for an explanation, apologized for whatever it was we did, and was told that I was clueless if I didn’t know and I should not try to contact them any further. The pain was raw and constant for about a year, and now it is there, but not as much on the surface. While reading your article, I thought of how I have been more sensitive (fearful) about other in-laws, hoping that I won’t offend them without realizing it. The whole experience has helped me to grow in my faith and to realize in a deeper way that our Lord is the one we can count on completely. Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your beautiful family, and your friendships.

  9. says

    Amy, I can relate. I don’t have any friends left over from high school or college. I am constantly trying to keep in touch with people from faraway, but…
    It took some time, but I think I have at least 1 friend whom I can just be myself with. We text and text constantly (text because it’s easier to respond when we are able which isn’t always the case with a phone call).
    I wish we lived closer. I wish we could visit your more often and longer than the 30 minutes that time we dropped by.

  10. says

    In my life, I have had many GOOD friends move away. Three families in three years. It’s been tough. These women were my bedrock. I do have a couple of friends here, one who is my very best friend and support. It’s funny because we are the best of friends but often it’s just via text. We are both so busy that a text is all we can give each other besides the very wonderful conversation after church on Sundays. But, it fills my bucket.
    I pray for all who don’t have the friends. It’s very hard. I’ve endured many, many years of loneliness. And, even in the midst of all these friends there are times I am lonely.

  11. says

    Thank you Elizabeth and KC. Your kind words and prayers are a balm to my weary soul after a long, heartwrenching night (only tangentially related to the subject of this post). Praying that you both have friendships that heal your hearts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>