In the Heart of my Home

I'm at MomHeart today

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And we're talking about pruning in order to make room for Light and Warmth. What's crowding your spirit and obscuring God's access to your soul?

"Sometimes, it’s a slow process. Sometimes, we wake up one morning and find the whole bush covered with blackened, holey leaves. If we allow it, God begins to prune. Often, the pruning is painful, very painful. The only way to bear the pain of the pruning is to keep our eyes on the face of the Gardener. He has a plan. It’s a plan to save us, a plan to allow us to bloom abundantly. But first, He must strip us bare. 
And there we stand in the summer sun, naked in our seemingly barren state. Very little green remains, no blooms can be seen. We need to begin again, confident that the Gardener will provide all we need to grow and flourish." Please read the rest here. 

Papal Notebook: The rest of the story

{no needle & thREAD today. I'll be updating here throughout the day. If you have links to add to our list as we teach our children about Pope Francis, please, please share in the comments! Scroll to the bottom for new links and ideas to celebrate Pope Francis)

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As the next few weeks unfold, my children will create a notebook to honor Pope Benedict XVI and to document the election of a new pope. Here is a rough outline of that notebook, based upon the ones we did eight years ago. I am absolutely certain that this outline will change as I become more aware of new resources. Please, please, feel free to leave your ideas and resources in the comments and I'll update the post as we go.

First, some reading is in order:

Joseph and Chico 

Max and Benedict

Be Saints

Friendship with Jesus

We Have a Pope (Be sure to check the other buying options at Amazon. You can still get this one pretty quickly.)

 

For the teenagers:

Come Meet Jesus (reviewed a bit here)

God's Choice: Pope Benedict XVI

 

Beautiful Papal Lapbook

What will we call the pope when he resigns? End of pontificate details

Notebook ideas:

::A narration from each child who remembers when Benedict XVI was elected. We have our notebooks from last time to remind us of that day. For children to young to remember, we'll type a dictation of what they've learned in their reading and from brothers and sisters.

Coloring page of Benedict XVI

::A timeline of the life of Benedict XVI

Biography of Pope Benedict XVI

::Copywork:

*Pope Benedict XVI's statement after the election. Since my children included this in the notebooks they made when he was elected, it will be fun to see how they've grown in their ability to capture the same message on paper now.

“Dear Brothers and Sisters: After the great Pope John Paul II, the Lord Cardinals have elected me, a simple and humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord.  

I am consoled by the fact that the Lord knows how to act, even with inadequate instruments and above all I entrust myself to your prayers. 

In the joy of the Risen Lord, trusting in His permanent help, as we go forward the Lord will help us, and His Mother, Mary Most Holy, is on our side Thank you”.

 

 

*Prayer for Benedict XVI:

Lord, source of eternal life and truth, give to Your shepherd, the Pope, a spirit of courage and right judgement, a spirit of knowledge and love.

By governing with fidelity those entrusted to his care may he, as successor to the apostle Peter and vicar of Christ, build Your church into a sacrament of unity, love, and peace for all the world.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

*Copywork for big kids:

Dear Brothers, 
I have convoked you to this Consistory, not only for the three canonizations, but also to communicate to you a decision of great importance for the life of the Church. 

After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry. 

I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering. 

However, in today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of Saint Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me. 

For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome, Successor of Saint Peter, entrusted to me by the Cardinals on 19 April 2005, in such a way, that as from 28 February 2013, at 20:00 hours, the See of Rome, the See of Saint Peter, will be vacant and a Conclave to elect the new Supreme Pontiff will have to be convoked by those whose competence it is. 

Dear Brothers, I thank you most sincerely for all the love and work with which you have supported me in my ministry and I ask pardon for all my defects. 

And now, let us entrust the Holy Church to the care of Our Supreme Pastor, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and implore his holy Mother Mary, so that she may assist the Cardinal Fathers with her maternal solicitude, in electing a new Supreme Pontiff. 

With regard to myself, I wish to also devotedly serve the Holy Church of God in the future through a life dedicated to prayer. 

From the Vatican 
10 February 2013 

BENEDICTUS PP XVI

*Additional copywork will be taken extensively from these two books:

Be Saints

Friendship with Jesus

::Pope Benedict's Coat of Arms:

Pope Benedict XVI Coat of Arms (primary)

Symbolism in the Coat of Arms (upper elementary)

 Fr. Michael Gaitley on Pope Benedict and Lent

::Copywork

*Prayer for the conclave:< <to be added later>>

::The Election Process:

Electing a New Pope 3 page PDF for children, suitable to print and put in notebooks. alternatively, children who are old enough can narrate this process to be keyboarded by mom. If they are able, they can write it themselves.

Who Are These People? 1 page PDF on roles of specific cardinals in the conclave.

Conclave facts. Here, too. Design notebook pages to highlight some of the facts that most interest each child. 

Make black and white smoke.

Conclave resource for middle school students. 

Excellent resource on the Papal Election for older students.

 

Pope Francis

First on the agenda: Daily Mass. Won't it be wonderful to hear "Francis, our Pope..."? Can't wait!

Some copywork for the day: First address from St. Peter's (English translation)

Tim Gray on the significance of Francis' name

Cardinal Dolan on the "gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit" in the conclave.

 Dr. Alan Schreck on the Election of Pope Francis (note: he says "Francis the First." There has never been a Pope Francis, but we won't call him Francis I until there is a Francis II.)

On the night of the election, we had empanadas for dinner (and Malbec for the grownups). I didn't make them from scratch. Mike picked them up from his favorite hole-in-wall empanada place in DC. But here are several recipes and thoughts on freezing. Might be nice on March 19, the date of the installation.

So many want to know: "Will Pope Francis be a traditionalist or a reformer; will he focus on orthodoxy or social justice; will he emphasize the truths of the faith or the necessity of serving the poor? But these are the wrong questions. The fact is that Pope Francis will remind the world that Catholicism rejects those dichotomies as false and proposes a both/and approach. Anything less is simply not Catholic. "

Teenage reading: Evangelical Catholicism: Deep Reform in the 21st-Century Church 

Some Pope Francis Printables

More notebooking pages, printables.

Preparing for Lent

Here's the quick tutorial to answer some questions and then some links to help you plan and give you some time to actually do this before next week. 

 Remember those wooden mantel letters?  During Lent, they say "Repent" (take the "Prepare" purple letters from Advent, and make an "N" and a "T"--you're all set to spell REPENT). For the Easter season, they spell "Alleluia." They are painted gold and covered with "diamond dust" glitter. On Fat Tuesday, I take out the ALLELUIA letters and make a big deal of spelling out "Alleluia." I let the children chant, sing, and even yell "Alleluia" in order to "get the Alleluias out." Then, I solemnly put the golden letters in a purple bag and explain that the Church doesn't say "Alleluia" during Lent and that we will "hide our Alleluias" until it's Easter.I hide the purple bag with the Alleluias in it (and tell someone where I put them;-). Then, it's Lent.
And it's quiet.

 

 

 

 

Talking with Your Kids about Lent

Lent is a Good Thing

Prayer Rule for all of Lent

What to Give Up?

Remain in Him

Thoughts on Fasting

Family Lent Project: Counting Blessings

 

For the last few years, there has been a daily Lenten Fast::Pray::Give prompt here for you. Shall we do that again this year? I'd mostly republish the old, familiar ones from Lents past. Would that be helpful?

 

Renew

 

Last year was pretty huge. I was so tired, so completely spent at this year's beginning that I noticed year-in-review posts on other blogs, and just pulled the quilt up tighter around my ears and closed my eyes. I didn't have the energy--physical or spiritual--to revisit it all, even virtually. It was just.so.much.

I went through that year of many, many transitions kicking and screaming. Turns out I'm not a big fan of change. The reality is that I liked the baby years, loved them, really and never once wished them away. And yet, in the big giant year of transition, they were indeed being swept beyond my reach. I left my children for the first time. And then for the second. Someone turned four and there was no one younger than her around the table at dinner. But there was someone new at the table. And she came to be one of us. I gained a new role. The transition was absolutely unmistakeable.

Our culture is so youth oriented. For the most part it seems, no one really searches out ways to be older. We celebrate 21 in a big way. We mark midlife with black-themed birthday cards and bad jokes about being over the hill. I think I bought into that mentality a bit. And I think I know a big reason I was such easy prey.

I was so dang tired. The truth is that this wholehearted, all-in, very attached parenting style had depleted me to the equivalent of soil dust. Nothing rich was growing there. If this was what the mid-forties felt like, I could not imagine sixty.

But I have a four-year-old. And my most fervent prayer is to grow old healthy, and holy, and helpful. I want to be there for her. I want to see how the story unfolds. I want to get out of bed in the morning without my knees cracking so loudly it wakes my husband.

In the blur that was the new year, friends were choosing words for the year--just single words upon which to focus, meditate, seek wisdom. A word to live for the whole year. I couldn't wrap my brain around one. 

And then I could. Aimee said her word was renew. Renew.

That's it. That's the word. It's the word that says that this stage in life is not the beginning of the end. It's the beginning, instead, of something better, stronger, wiser, and yes--older. But older in the richest way. That's certainly being proven true in marriage. Did you know that the sweetest wine is grown from the oldest vineyards? Grapes grow best when the farmer works in harmony in with the earth, when he embraces the whole and considers that plant and the land around it as they were endowed by the Creator, with an eye towards preserving the quality for a long time. The goal of biodynamic farming is to be sustainable. When you grow grapes, you draw something from the soil and you have to replenish that. 

When we learned about biodynamic vineyards, one point that came home to me is that growing practices greatly influence how long the vineyards will continue to bear fruit. The vines where the practice is focused upon sustainable growth--where the big picture is considered and every element of farming is oriented towards ensuring health of the vines down deep and over time--are the vines that bear the sweetest fruit. At first, the explanation of biodynamic farming sounds a bit hokie. But then, you can literally taste and see that the fruit borne of the wisdom of old is of a superior quality.

This image works so well for me. The Bible is rich with imagery of vineyards. Clearly, God wants us to consider how to grow in a sustainable way in order to renew the face of the earth. I've never been more certain of that than I was this morning. I had written the above over the course of the last few weeks. I clicked over to visit Aimee in order to link to her in my post. When I did, I learned she's writing today about sustainable homeschooling. My jaw dropped and I smiled widely at God's thunk over my head. If ever I asked for a sign that I was on the right track, I got a clear answer at 7:00 AM on Tuesday January 29th while visiting Aimee's blog. It's a post that just might easily have catapulted to my favorite home education post ever this morning. There is wisdom there, my friends. Rich, rich wisdom. Get this: middle aged wisdom. Yep. There is wisdom and it's invaluable.

I look around at the friends with whom I've had babies and I am blessed to know that they've grown wise. How amazing! We all learned something during those hazy, intense, sleep-deprived years.

So, now I embrace renewal. I look to tend the vineyard of my soul, to be sure, but I am not going to neglect the rest of me any more. The big picture of renewal is one that encompasses physical health, spirtual growth, creative energy and enthusiasm, and an invigorated sense of hope and optimism for the future. I look to my home, to my homeschooling, to the relationships within these walls and to the people I love beyond these walls. Renewal. All of it is waiting to be made new again. 

What a different perspective than that of a withering towards an inevitable end. We can renew and renew and renew again, until our dying breath. God is generous that way.

I've talked a bit about stillness. About allowing Him to come in the silence.

Be still and know that I am God.

The last two weeks at Mass, an old familiar hymn has settled on my soul in a new way. I've listened to You Are Mine and heard the refrain of stillness. I will come to you in the silence. But I've also heard the rest. I heard the echoes of Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the LORD,

who created you, Jacob, and formed you, Israel:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name: you are mine.

There is nothing to fear. I am redeemed. 

And the promise of John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid

Transitions can be scary. Aging can be scary. Renewal, though? The sustainable model of growth that keeps us renewing until we reach heaven? That's peace.

Last year, was a hard year. It was exhausting. It was a compost year, I think. A year of creating very fertile ground for renewal. 

Gathering my Thoughts

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I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

We are in the midst of one of the infamous wintry mix storms so familiar to this region. Right now, ice is coating everything. My fervent hope is that I can get some pictures before the whole things turn to cold rain.

::listening to 

Ice falling hard and fast against the house.  

::clothing myself in 

A sweatshirt and sweatpants. Schools have been closed for the day. That might just mean I have no where to go unless I choose to go to the gym later this afternoon. And that might just mean I'll wear sweats all day long. 

 

::talking with my children about these books

Snow books. Poor Sarah was absolutley traumatized by My Brother Loved Snowflakes . Bentley dies of pneumonia. Mary Beth has had pneumonia this winter. Just a little too much for my sensitive four-year-old to process.

 

::thinking and thinking

about renewal. It's been a long time since I've intentionally taken care of my body. I tend to push myself to the absolute outer limits of endurance, but not in a good way. This January, at Mike's insistence, I've really been paying attention to exercise and relaxation and sleep. Still don't have the nutrition thing nailed down, but the rest is coming together. Now, I see just how merciless I've been to myself.

::pondering prayerfully

"Remember the precept that St. John the Evangelist used to give to his disciples: “Love one another.” Since it is not a mere exhortation, but a command, it would be sinful to do otherwise. Therefore, do away with insults, quarrels, envy, revenge, mockery, or bad will. Be good to one another. This will prove that you love each other like brothers."

- Don Bosco

 

The feast of St. John Bosco is January 31. There is a treasure trove of great information and resources here.

 

::carefully cultivating rhythm

Schools are closed today, but not here. I remind my children that all those January long weekends for teacher workdays and the random snow days easily add up to a week in the woods in April when the bluebells bloom and everyone else is stuck inside. Now, if we were to get significant snow, I could persuaded to call a snow day .

::creating by hand

I really must tackle those nightgowns anew this week. And hustle along with knitting plans for Easter sweaters, because they're not moving nearly as quickly as the shrugs did two years ago. All my projects seem to be for Katie and they all seem stuck at the yoke. Hmmm...

 

::learning lessons in

teenagers. I am not a quick study, but I do think I'm making progress. 

::encouraging learning 

This week we'll begin our study of Matthew. I'm really looking forward to doing this study with my kids and I think they're pretty enthusiastic, too.

We've also been meandering down the Alphabet Path. Last week, H was for "heart" and we did some tweaking to the Valentine plan.

::begging prayers

for all the intentions of our prayer community. Also, Elizabeth DeHority is facing a formidable struggle this week as she battles an opportunistic infection. Her bone marrow is utterly depleted and her body has very little with which to fight.

 

::keeping house

Up this week: Reorganizing the linen closet (It's been a long time since it looked like this, but I have photographic evidence that it once did, so I'm motivated). Also,  the storage room in the basement is in need again. Last time I did, it was a big emotional epiphany. I don't have time for epiphanies this week. I just want to clean it up. 

::crafting in the kitchen 

Christian took over my kitchen several times last week. He made New England clam chowder that was met with deep sighs of approval,  an amazing dinner of grilled chicken, creamed spinach and mashed potatoes, and then a raspberry chocolate cheesecake. He's got some impressive skills. He's got absolutely no desire to cook according to anyone's dietary limitations;-).

For my part, a friend challenged me to eat a salad every day. Nicholas took it a bit further and asked if I could somehow turn their dinner meals into salads for myself. I played with my food a bit last week and it was fun. I'll share it here on Wednesday, I think.

 

::loving the moments

When I have a chance to catch up with a friend. My friend Barbara joined me to watch Stephen and Nicky play basketball on Saturday and we had a whole hour to just sit and chat. And Colleen called from Costa Rica on Sunday and we had absolutely the best phone connection we've ever had.

Patrick was there for the basketball game, too, and he brought a friend home from school with him. It was nice to have them in the stands and I know the "little brothers" loved it.

::giving thanks 

for safe travels. Patrick came home last weeked. Christian drove down to Charlottesville and back in the snow without incident. And Mike was gone last week, but traveled home from Miami safely last night and is tucked up in bed while the sky rains ice.

living the liturgy

We are preparing for Candlemas. Candles. I do love what they do for our home.

Ginny and I sat down a couple of weeks ago and sketched out some plans for celebrating the rhythm of the Church year with our families. We're really looking forward to bringing those plans to life and our kids are, too! 

::planning for the week ahead

Pretty mellow week, I think. I have a hunch that a popcorn ball nibble did some bad things to a tooth, so there is likely to be some dental visits in my future. Other than that, it's just some lovely "normal" and a visit from friends on Wednesday to do some candle crafting.

Oh, and Stephen turns fourteen on Friday. I'm not a huge fan of fourteen, but I think Stephen is just the guy to change my perception;-) He's on board to take on the challenge of re-branding fourteen.

Joy

Joy. Pink, sparkly letters glint the word from my mantel. They’ve been there since Gaudete Sunday and they will remain there through January. Joy. That Christmas morning joy. I want to hold it, keep it, live it  well past the last few notes of “We Three Kings.”

 

Christmas is exhausting. Who’s with me here? Moms? There’s so much heart and soul and effort and energy poured into the tastes and treasures and traditions of the holiday. Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the soul-gift we are  given.  But when the afternoon light is bouncing off the ornaments and bits of paper and ribbon remain in the corner beneath the tree and I have a moment to sit and be still in the quiet giddiness that comes after Christmas morning, I know joy. I hold it close, examine it carefully, tell myself not to forget.

 

And then, there is the after-Christmas. This year, in our family, the days after Christmas were filled with even more joy. Our first child was married and the weekend was filled with light, song, and utter delight at the blooming of God’s love. To be married in the octave of Christmas, on the Feast of the Holy Family-- of course that is joy.

 

The happy couple got away for a few days and then returned home to establish their new family in a new household. Meanwhile, back in my household, we prepared to take Patrick to college for the first time. He went a semester early and his leaving caught us a bit by surprise.  He’s bursting with enthusiasm for the adventure. I’m watching bedrooms empty in my home with astonishing speed and helping the children left behind to understand that love in not bound by time or space.

 

And then there’s the flu. It came to visit, too. Virginia, it’s not Christmas any more.

 

If it’s genuine joy though, can it be lost? In the tired and the cold and the mundane of the post-holiday days, do we really lose joy?

 

St. Francis of Assisi wrote “When spiritual joy fills hearts, the Serpent throws off his deadly poison in vain. The devils cannot harm the servant of Christ when they see he is filled with holy joy.” When Christmas fills us, when the Baby truly enters us and stays there, even January is joy.

 

Mothers, especially, are guardians of joy. Whether we intend to or not, we set the tone in our households. I watch my children carefully and I see the serpents circling. What to do? How to fill their hearts with spiritual joy and banish the serpents from my home? Blessed Mother Teresa gently reminds me that “Joy is infectious; therefore, always be full of joy.” Later, she says, “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love. “ It begins with me. I must fill myself with joy so that it spills into every crevice of my home.

Joy is the Small Steps virtue for January. This January, I'm resolved to teach it, to share, to live it together.

New year’s resolution? To fill heart and soul to overflowing with Jesus so that joy is contagious. To listen to Him daily in the Word. To thank Him always, affirming that He is the font of all blessings and that He is even God over adversity. To trust in His sovereignty and willfully make Him lord of all. To worship Him daily in the Mass. To gratefully take Him into myself in Communion. And to remain in constant conversation. Contagious Christmas Joy. All year ‘round.

Part one here.

Auld Lang Syne

    

    I almost didn't do it. I debated and debated, wrestled in my mind and spent a ridiculous amount of time wondering what they would think. Proper enough? Stylish enough? Fancy enough? What would they think?

    In the end, I went for it. TOMS for the wedding just seemed like the perfect thing to do. The girls really wanted to do it. The bride was on board. We could buy five pairs of TOMS for us and then TOMS would give five pairs of shoes to children in need. Honestly, it was the most liberating decision I made. I worried a lot about money over the last four months. We spent a lot of money the last four months. But this money? This was money well spent. My girls love these shoes. They were comfortable and adorable on Saturday. The girls and I will wear them all the time until we wear them out. And they looked just perfectly us. Even better, TOMS gave us a way to give even as we were clothing ourselves. Days later, every time I see sparkling little feet, my heart skips for joy.

    I've made a lot of decisions in the last year. We renovated our house. We helped plan a wedding. We took a trip. All of those things were out of my comfort zone. We did big, big things. And there were old voices in my head all the while. Voices that raise objections to the choices I've made. A house full of noisy, messy children. A giant van and a really old car. School at home. A handmade life. I cared too much about what the voices thought, about approval, about appreciation.

    A life woven around liturgy, every single day. It looked so different to them, so odd, so unimportant. They didn't say it right out loud, but I knew they were talking. I cared about what they thought, even as I deliberately chose a very different path. I could hear the voices. Voices that contradict the life I've chosen. Voices that care way too much about the way things look and not nearly enough about the way things really are.

    They're quiet now. I choose not to listen ever again.

    I've slipped my feet into a pair of TOMS (I didn't wear them for the wedding, preferring a very pretty pair of gold heels, but I did wear them until moments before and immediately after) and I've walked away from a legacy of mirages and facades. 

    Never have I been so sure of Sacrament as I was whilst kneeling in prayer as Ave Maria was sung after communion at the Nuptial Mass. Never have I been so sure that this life of faith--the one that found us and the one we've pursued--is so well worth the effort it takes to live it in the current culture. Never have I been so sure that being true to my own soul, to making decisions that match the vision my Maker has of me, is how to be truly joyful, in happy times and in times when sadness envelopes me. 

God's plan is not the plan that has been trumpeted by those voices all these years.     They sound like cheap tin horns now.

    God's plan is voiced in a quiet whisper on a way-too-early morning while cradling a croupy toddler. And God's plan is voiced in a glorious, triumphant shout on an afternoon in the octave of Christmas in a breathtaking church.

    God's voice is the steady, guiding cadence of the liturgy, day in and day out. It is in the words of the Mass, every single carefully crafted one of them. 

    It is the very Word that breathed life into our souls and the only genuine breath of life. His voice is peace and that peace is mine.

Photo credit: lorielizabethphotography.com

Wedding Moments on a Monday

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So many moments I want to remember. Not for a second can I begin to  capture them here. I think I've hesitated to put words to the moments because I'm quite sure I can't adequately express my heart. So, let's just try to catch a few moments.

::This was a small, intimate wedding.  Of all my girlfriends, only two were there. They came with their cameras and they offered us the gift of their art. Forever, we will remember the wedding through their eyes. For me, I know I entrusted wedding memories to kindred spirits who know my heart. That's a rare treasure. Several years ago, a photographer named Lori asked if I'd like her to take pictures in the bluebells. I hesitated, because those woods are so very special and personal to our family. I couldn't fathom a photoshoot there. Mike encouraged me to jump at the chance. All through that beautiful day in the woods, Lori kept saying, "You have to meet my friend Ginny. You two--you're a lot alike." I met Ginny in those same woods a couple years later. And our friendship has grown into a treasure of my heart. The gift of these pictures is just the beginning. The gift of their understanding was priceless.

::Mary Beth was terribly sick the week before the wedding. So many of my logistical plans hinged on her. At the last moment, Kristin suggested we invite Mary Beth's darling friend Molly to be one of the family for the weekend. And Molly--lover of weddings--enthusiastically jumped in. I think that between eleven o'clock Friday evening and the march down the aisle Saturday, Molly spent eight hours curling hair. She was sweet and gracious and wonderful and willing to do anything to make the day fairytale perfect. Girlfriends. They're the best.

::Seven minutes before I was to walk down the aisle, Patrick knocked on the Bride's Room door. He insisted that Michael needed to see me immediately. Fighting panic, I practically sprinted across the back of the church to the sacristy. I looked at all the people gathered and briefly wondered if the groom had cold feet. I ducked inside and Michael held a small, tissue-wrapped package. "Kristin and I don't want you to cry. But we thought you should have this before the wedding." Inside, was a handkerchief embroidered with the familiar words of a bedtime story I've read a million times in the last 24 years. They were the words my children have sung at bedtime into Mike's voicemail when he is away. When I first read Love You Forever, I thought it was creepy. What mother picks up grown sons when they are sleeping to rock them? Totally weird. As my boys have grown though, I've understood the message. Mothers never stop wanting to make the world safe, to keep their babies close and ensure they know they're loved. Never. When my friend Jan saw a picture of the handkerchief, she said, "Nothing could have made you happier." She is so right.

::All weekend long, I got text messages and emails and sweet notes from girlfriends who were holding me in prayer. Never have I seen the Holy Spirit and the communion of saints so visibly. Not a one was hurt that they weren't there. They understood. And then they prayed.

::There was moment before the girls walked down the aisle that I think has escaped everyone's camera. Just outside the sacristy door, my five boys gathered themselves into a huddle. I'm not sure what all was said. I hear that Michael told Paddy how much he appreciated the latter's decision to forego earrings on this day. What else? I don't know. I just know that the sight of them there filled my heart to its fullest and made my husband's eyes spill over. Patrick's girlfriend Hilary was sitting next to us. I caught her eye. We looked at Mike. And the three of us shared the moment. One day, God willing, I will be very old. My memory will fail. I dearly hope that someone will remind me of that moment. I never want to forget.

::The plan for the recessional was for me to take Sarah's hand and Mike to take Karoline's hand and my arm and then for the four of us to walk down the aisle. Karoline escaped Mike and skipped all the way down the aisle. Oh, yes she did. And she caught the spirt of our joy as she always does.

::This was a handmade wedding. The flowers were a gift of love from Kristin's roommate. Kristin sewed her own veil and upcycled her rehearsal dinner dress from a vintage wedding dress. We had a wedding favor party in my kitchen on Nutcracker weekend and assembled darling gifts for guests. The cake was the creation and gift of Megan Kampa, one of Michael's childhood friends and homeschooling buddies. It was carried into the reception hall by their friend Billy, now a marine. Hours and hours of love went into the details. And hours and hours of love are still being poured into the photographs. Handmade. Heartfelt. So good. (Lots of those pictures are on Instagram @heartofmyhome or you can click the camera icon on the sidebar.)

::I thoroughly enjoyed the little chats I had with Kristin's friends and relatives. Small weddings are truly wonderful for making meaningful connections. I don't think I've ever known a more thoughtful bride.

::Nicholas gave a toast that brought the house down. It was so good that the wait staff in the room left to go get the rest of the staff to come hear the twelve-year-old who is now seriously contemplating a career as a stand-up comic. He'd have to take his ghostwriter with him. Christian, no doubt, is a gifted speechwriter. Genius was the word I heard more than once.

::Hilary caught the bouquet. Everyone--everyone--was ever so glad. Perfect. Just perfect.

::Michael swept Karoline up to dance Sweet Caroline. Not a dry eye in the house. 

::At the end of the evening, after Ginny and Lori had headed home, Michael played the song that Mike had chosen for our first dance twenty-five years ago. My husband held me close and I could not take my eyes off his face. I just kept saying, "We did this. We did this." I didn't mean the wedding. I meant something much, much bigger. God. Mike. Me. Together for something big. Mike understood. I'm pretty sure there are no pictures of the dance. I'll never forget, though.

All photos: Ginny, who spent her birthday with my memories.

needle & thREAD

I've been sewing lots and lots lately. Still making window treatments:-). I'm learning that if there's fabric involved, it doesn't take me long to get to my happy place. I'm also learning that sewing is even better with friends. My friend Cari has been here often to help me with draperies and it's just so nice to wrok together, to have long conversations, and share a passion for fiber arts! We've been trading fabric and yarn and lots of ideas. My project list is growing quite long. (Speaking of project lists, Deborah has some insight to that today. even if you've never sewn and never plan to, this post is a very good read.)

I've also found that I love to teach other people to sew. Since I'm so new at this, those "other people" are mostly children. Last week, Megan's daughter Katie came over for sewing and tea. I helped her create a ribbon-hemmed skirt. This sweet skirt is such a great first project! (Here's a link to a free tutorial.) The results are nearly instantly gratifying. She sewed so well and was such a dear little sponge. 

When Megan came to pick  her up, Katie beamed her success. Truly darling. Then, Sarah told Megan that she has three ribbon hemmed skirt and I helped her make them all. Megan asked what Sarah did when she sewed her skirts. "I gave Mommy the pins to put in the skirt. And then she gave them to me to put in the pincushion. She was a big help." Yep. In her darling little brain, she sewed those skirts. And that's all good.

I'm reading Chesterton this year, to celebrate the Year of Faith (more on the plan here). I took a picture of my reading and knitting yesterday to write a Yarn Along post. Then, Cari came to sew and I forgot all about blogging. So, here's my read:

So what's happening out there in needle and thread world? Are you working on Christmas presents? Christmas decorations? Winter jammies? Do tell.  

Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and thREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and thREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link:-)

 

 

Today. Just Today.

I took the Facebook and Twitter apps off my phone last week. The noise had become unbearable. Now, I check in on my laptop, timer ticking, in the morning and in the evening. I'm amazed at the difference in my distraction level. Clearly, I was checking in and engaging way more often than I recognized. It's good to look up more, instead of down at that screen.

Yesterday afternoon, I planned to settle into my booth and write while Sarah and Karoline were at ballet. Alas, there was no charge on my compuer and I'd neglected to pack a charger. So, I took a walk instead. 

With me, I carried the the very real and very large medical sadness  of Lynn, of  Elizabeth DeHority and of another dear and very close woman. It's ironic; after the election I heard a pundit from the "losing side" reflect that at least he didn't get up in the morning and discover a lump. His world would go on and unless there was that crisis, nothing else was a crisis.

But what if there were that crisis? Three people I love are living that crisis. Well, lots more people than that are living that crisis, but these three are in my constant thoughts. And in my mind, I live that crisis, too. With my what-ifs and my very overactive imagination.

I set off on my walk down a familiar path, listening to and praying along with the familiar voices at Divine Office. As the hymn played, my mind wandered. Initially, I lamented the fact that fall was slipping away. Soon, these trees would be stripped bare. I kicked myself for neglecting to get the beeswax and gather the leaves to dip before the hurricane, for failing to capture autumn in its glory. I brought myself back into the prayer.

The Holy Spirit nudged me to capture the day, the very moment for the gloriousness it was, right now. I looked up. I noticed. How absolutely perfect was just this day, just this fading afternoon! What if I could do that with every moment of my life? What if I could stay --constant prayer supporting me-- in the very moment I was living? No lamentations about what could have been, no gripping fears about what lies ahead, just profound and startling awareness and gratitude for what is right now?

 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34

 

"I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

 

The Year of Faith

On October 11, 2012 the Catholic Church officially begins its celebration of the Year of Faith. To celebrate the occasions of the 50^th anniversary of the Second Vatican Council and the 20^th anniversary of the promulgation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI leads the faithful in a three-fold mission for the next year. (If you haven’t begun at all, no worries; it’s actually a little more than a year.) Especially this year, we are called to know the Christian faith, to live the faith with every breath, and to generously share the faith. Let’s begin with some ideas for getting to know the faith a  little (or a lot) better.

 

As the year begins, take some time to make a plan. Be intentional about soaking up the graces that come with an entire year focused on faith. Seize the opportunity to really do this thing. As a family, how will you grow in your knowledge of the faith?  Begin with a Bible for everyone. My preferred adult Bible is the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible. It’s just the New Testament for now, but I know I will fill in with lots of Old Testament study praying the Liturgy of the Hours. For teens, Amy Welborn has the wonderful Prove It! Catholic Teen Bible. For children, My Big Book of Catholic Bible Stories is absolutely perfect for the Year of Faith. There are Bible stories, Catechism lessons, and notes on devotions, all woven into an engaging book with charming illustrations. Finally, I encourage you to commit to setting aside some time every week for Family Night. Jeff and Emily Cavins have a valuable online resource for a weekly family Bible study that will bring the Mass readings of the week to life and bring the family together. 

 

What better way to celebrate the anniversary of the Catechism than to read the Catechism? It seems a daunting task to tackle on one’s own. The folks at Flocknote have made it simpler and less lonely. Every morning, they will send you an email with just a bit of the Catechism to read that day. You can stop there, or you can click a little further and join an online discussion about the topic at hand. It’s all free and it couldn’t be much simpler to get going and take part in a movement that was already 27,000 strong the day before the Year of Faith began.

 

If you are up for a full-fledged course that you can access from the comfort of your couch, check out the free Pillars of Catholicism online course offered by John Paul the Great University. If you’d prefer not to use an online resource, you might enjoy watching the ten part Catholicism DVD series from Word on Fire. 

For those who would rather hold a book-based resource, Fr. Mitch Pacwa has written The Year of Faith: A Bible Study Guide for Catholics. Designed to use in a group or alone, this book seeks to foster conversion, growth in faith, and friendship with Jesus. Fr. Pacwa aims to show us how to integrate every component of life into a meaningful, faith-filled whole. One of our family’s most trusted resources also lends itself to a daily study. Alone or as a family, you can work your way through the excellent Catholic Christianity by Peter Kreeft, just a little at a time, every day with breakfast. 

Many will recognize a beloved resource in Magnificat. For the Year of Faith, Magnificat has published a comprehensive, page-a-day booklet designed to strengthen the life of faith. Each day features one of eight cornerstones of the Catholic Faith: faith profiles, the Word of God, Catechism, devotions, essays, meditations, prayers, and poems.  Finally, as the year progresses, I encourage you to check in at Patheos online. There is a dedicated year of  Faith portal which will be curated all year long, ensuring that we will never be in need of food for thought and prayer.

 

 

Preparing for the Feast of St. Therese

~repost, because that's what we can do with traditions.

If you've ever been to my house, chances are excellent to 100% that you have seen one of these prayer cards laying around. I ordered them in bulk when Karoline Rose was born to include in her birth announcements. And I've ordered more every year since. The rose novena is most definitely how we begin to prepare for the feast of this saint, who is so, so dear to our family. Karoline's name, of course is a tribute to St. Therese's promise to shower roses upon the earth and Karoline tells everyone she knows that she is, indeed, a rose sent from heaven. Katie was baptized Kirsten Therese, so she, too, is named for St. Therese. And there is lots of evidence of her presence on this blog because there is lots of evidence of her presence in our lives as a family.

We will go to Mass, of course, to celebrate with the Universal Church. There will be roses. Michael is Katie's godfather and buys her miniature roses ("Little Flowers") on this day--just as long as I remind him;-). For this year, the girls are all abuzz about this pan, I purchased last summer. So, a rose-shaped cake. But I'm still not sure what the recipe will be. Any suggestions would be most welcomed in my inbox. Extra points if you have a grain freen recipe that works in a pan like this. It's a season for miracles, no?

One of Trish's candles (in that amazing St. Therese rose scent) will be lit before the icon. Mary Beth took Therese as her confirmation name and Patrick's godmother blessed her with this beautiful image.

 

I have learned over time that this is one feast I do not overplan, despite the fact that it is huge day in our family. St. Therese has a history of showering us with her love in most unexpected ways.

The novena begins September 23, to prepare for the October 1st feast.

 

*September 23 is the feast of our favorite Capuchin, St. Padre Pio. In our house, that means cappucino all around:-)

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-fulled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

My heart is with the family of Don Perry, spokesman for Chick-Fil-A, who died unexpectedly this week. Please pray for the repose of his soul and for the comfort and consolation of his family.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gospel 

John 6:1-15

Jesus went across the Sea of Galilee.
A large crowd followed him,
because they saw the signs he was performing on the sick.
Jesus went up on the mountain,
and there he sat down with his disciples.
The Jewish feast of Passover was near.
When Jesus raised his eyes
and saw that a large crowd was coming to him,
he said to Philip,
"Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?"
He said this to test him,
because he himself knew what he was going to do.
Philip answered him,
"Two hundred days' wages worth of food would not be enough
for each of them to have a little.'"
One of his disciples,
Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, said to him,
"There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish;
but what good are these for so many?"
Jesus said, "Have the people recline."
Now there was a great deal of grass in that place.
So the men reclined, about five thousand in number.
Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks,
and distributed them to those who were reclining,
and also as much of the fish as they wanted.
When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples,
"Gather the fragments left over,
so that nothing will be wasted."
So they collected them,
and filled twelve wicker baskets with fragments
from the five barley loaves
that had been more than they could eat.
When the people saw the sign he had done, they said,
"This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world."
Since Jesus knew that they were going to come and carry him off
to make him king,
he withdrew again to the mountain alone.

Think

"The sense of futility is one of the greatest evils of the day...People say, "What can one person do? What is the sense of our small effort?" They cannot see that we can only lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment. But we can beg for an increase of love in our hearts that will vitalize and transform all our individual actions, and know that God will take them and multiply them, as Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes."

~Servant of God Dorothy Day

Act

What is it in you life about which you feel that sense of futility? Is it serving your family by conquering that mound of laundry? Is it opening your home more often in the spirit of hospitality? Is it stretching yourself to go into the corners of despair that aren't really very far from your home? Ask God to give you the strength and grace to begin with the first brick.

Pray

Lord, you give us all five barley loaves and two fish. Please help me to recognize them in my life, to prayerfully offer them back to you, and to be the instrument of your miracles.

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-fulled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

Gospel

 Mark 4:26-34

Jesus said to the crowds:
"This is how it is with the kingdom of God;
it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land
and would sleep and rise night and day
and through it all the seed would sprout and grow,
he knows not how.
Of its own accord the land yields fruit,
first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.
And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once,
for the harvest has come."

He said,
"To what shall we compare the kingdom of God,
or what parable can we use for it?
It is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground,
is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth.
But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants
and puts forth large branches,
so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade."
With many such parables
he spoke the word to them as they were able to understand it.
Without parables he did not speak to them,
but to his own disciples he explained everything in private.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Think

I have a mustard seed and I'm not afraid to use it. ~Pope Benedict XVI

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Pray

Dear Lord,

Help me to better love my husband and the father of my children. Let me listen to him genuinely and with love, always offering to him the disposition of firm belief in his best intentions. Let me see him as You do and inspire in him all the confidence to become the man you created him to be.  Let my hands be busy making his home a place of comfort and peace. Remind me to speak often of my gratitude for him and for the hard work he does for our family. Help me to be generous and genuine with heartfelt affection. Let me sincerely offer to him the best of who I am. And, Jesus, help us both to wholeheartedly offer that best to our children.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Act

Take a few moments to put to paper a gratitude list. List all those things about your husband for which you are grateful. First, offer the list to prayer. Genuinely thank God for the gift of your good man. Then, in private, speak every one of those words aloud to him.

 

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

 

 

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-fulled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

But how about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

 

Jesus said:
"I am the good shepherd.
A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
A hired man, who is not a shepherd
and whose sheep are not his own,
sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away,
and the wolf catches and scatters them.
This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.
I am the good shepherd,
and I know mine and mine know me,
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father;
and I will lay down my life for the sheep.
I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.
These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice,
and there will be one flock, one shepherd.
This is why the Father loves me,
because I lay down my life in order to take it up again.
No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own.
I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again.
This command I have received from my Father."

John 10: 11-18

 

Think 

There are still so many millions of people who have not yet heard the message of a loving God, a God who sent his only Son to die for them. They seek meaning and happiness in their lives by pursuing all kinds of other goals which inevitably turn to ashes: material abundance, status in the eyes of others, power over others, mistaking pleasure and hedonism for happiness… 
In so doing, they reject Jesus the Good Shepherd. "Because the world refused to acknowledge him, therefore it does not acknowledge us." This is something we must learn to accept as a fact, even if it is hard to understand and even harder to take. 
No matter how closely we follow in the footsteps of our Shepherd, in fact, the more closely we follow him, the more likely it is that we will be rejected and even attacked. More tragic still, however, there are so many people who claim Christ as Lord, many of them very good and sincere people, who are often divided, even bitterly divided among themselves. 
Here, more than anywhere is there a need for all to follow one Shepherd and form one flock. Otherwise how can we give witness to the love of Christ if that love is lacking among the servants of Jesus? 
Lastly, there are those who, though incorporated through baptism into the Body of Christ, consistently behave in a way which totally distorts people’s understanding of Christ and his call to discipleship, fulfilment and happiness. Probably, most of us have at one time or another failed in our call to give witness to the truth and love that is to be found in Christ.  (from Sacred Space)

Pray

Jesus, never let me fail to acknowledge you. Indeed, help me to go forth and glorify You with my life. Always. Everywhere. And in whatever company I find myself.

Act

Easter is a season and Good Shepherd Sunday is the perfect day to make a lamb cake (pictured above in ancient photo I just dug up). Rebecca has recipes and directions here.  Lamb cake pan here. (Remember, it's a season. If you don't have the pan and can't find it locally, Jesus won't stop being the Good Shepherd on Monday. You have time, mama.)

~

And psst: Today's the day to begin if you're going to use 33 Days to Morning Glory and conclude on the Feast of the Visitation. Again, don't get tangled up in dates. God exists outside of time. If you're interested, there's a 33 Days to Morning Glory book club on Facebook. More about the book here.

Grace in the Moment

 

The bluebells bloomed about a month early this year. I can't tell you how this rocked my world. I already had a jam-packed schedule in the three weeks before Holy Week. I was trying to finish Easter sewing, double up on lessons, do a spring cleaning and prepare to leave my children and go with my husband on a surprise trip. I knew that when I returned, I would be on the threshold of the Triduum, so I wanted to prepare well for that, too. And then, someone broke his nose, someone else got strep throat ( a first time ever for our family), and Mike's father ended up in the hospital for several days. One day, in the midst of it all, I got an email. "Bluebells expected to be at peak next week."

Bluebell Week is my favorite week of the year. It is my consoling thought during long winters. It is the burst of newness and springtime and hope that brings my weary spirit back to life. It is where I rejoice with my whole heart in God's glory in nature. I never miss it. And I never want my children to miss it.

This year, the weather was annoying during the bluebell's time in the sun (or not). Every day that I had a car available, rain was forecast. Friends we've met there every year were mostly unable to come, or couldn't come for very long. Sometime during the flower's blooming I received an email from a friend whose family we especially enjoy down at Bull Run. The subject line was "Bluebell Panic" because that's what I was feeling as I tried to make the calendar fashioned by my hands work with the God's timing of spring. My friend wrote, " I think that my family will have to wait until next year to see the bluebells again."

And in that moment, I felt an envy I have never felt before. I envied the ease with which she wrote "next year." I never do that. I never, ever assume next year. Heck, I never assume tomorrow. For twenty-two springs,  twenty-two seasons of flowers blooming, I always wonder if fear that I won't see them bloom again. And I always, always take the time to make sure my family notices them, too. Just this year, I wanted the easy-breezy "next year" mentality.

Usually, I consider this awareness of the preciousness of time to be a great gift, perhaps the greatest gift of surviving cancer. I just don't take anything for granted. For the most part, it's made me more grateful than most people can imagine for every single heartbeat. It does, however, come with a bit of dark lining. I have trouble sitting still, trouble just being. I always have this sense of cramming every bit of living into every single moment because I don't know how short life is. I have trouble leaving my children--not because I'm worried something will happen to them while I'm away or that I won't return, but just because I know with every fiber of my being that I won't get those moments again. It's a pretty intense way to live. 

This year, I recognized with startling clarity that God knew. God knew the intensity. And God knew the schedule and the weather and the state of my housekeeping. I handed it all to Him and asked Him to direct my days, to help me glorify Him with my time, and bring me the peace of heart and soul I knew I needed.

He began with the bluebells. We managed to squeeze in a couple very brief visits with friends with the promise to meet again. But then, those promises got swallowed up by logistics for those friends. Then, Linda, Nicholas' godmother, called and told me the absolute only day she could meet us there. Our meeting in the woods has been a tradition since before Nicholas could walk. Since before her son, Bobby, who is my godchild, was born. We cherish these days. We were together by the creek with the flowers the day the new Pope was elected. (That's a great story. You can click. I'll wait.) I looked around my house. I looked at my to-do list. No doubt, the house would stay dirty--the dirt would still be there. But the flowers would not stay in bloom. I took a deep breath. I recognized that I would, indeed, have a car available. We'll be there.

We went. The morning was glorious. Linda met me there with a friend. For over 20 years, people have been telling me I had to meet this lady. And for over 20 years, she's heard the same thing about me. We have a lot of mutual friends. One of them is Linda. And on this day, God brought us together. I shared my flowers with her. It's always such a joy to show someone the first time. 

Around noon, all three of my big boys joined us. Nine children --all nine of my children-- together in the place we've made so many memories. Linda knows me well. Sensing that the enormity of the bittersweet was threatening the joy of the present moment, she began to seize the photo-op and direct my picture efforts. From behind the lens, my mind whirled. Next year, Patrick will be away at school, and probably Christian, too. Michael will likely be married by then, but certainly he will finally have a day job and be much less available. This could be the last time I snap a photo of all of them in the bluebells. The log they once sat on--back when there were only six of them--had long since decayed, a natural reminder that nothing ever stays the same.  We have only today. And there was Linda. Directing and orchestrating, making sure we made the most of the moment.

I am so grateful.

I walked out of the woods that day with my new friend. We shared as if we'd know each other forever. I was struck by God's abundant goodness. And then, just when I thought the day couldn't be any fuller, God reminded me that I've had the great gift of bringing my children to this place for more than a decade. My new friend Jean was just beginning to know the bluebells. She came with her last little girl, a daughter my Sarah's age. 

And she also brought her baby grandson.

There is tangible hope in those flowers.

Every spring.

How to (give up coffee and) add more Hours to your Day

Last winter, when we returned from our long trip to Florida, I noticed that we were propelled into life in rapid motion. Everything seemed to be moving way too fast. Indeed, there were several crises, many of them urgent and pressing. From the time we got home, early in the third week of January, until the last week of March, I was in our pediatrician's office at least once a week, often many more times. He was a frequent caller at my home. And then there were the specialists to whom he was referring us. They were several and varied. With all this activity came the stress that illnesses visits upon mothers, but also, I noticed a severe interior stress--a straining almost to the breaking point. All these phone calls--and the visits to radiologists, orthodpedists, phlebotomists, cardiologists--all of it was just so much relentless noise to this introvert's spirit. Then, the first week that I didn't visit my pediatrician, my father-in-law was admitted to the hospital. The ICU is not a low stress place. I was more than fraying at the edges. I was unravelling at an alarming pace. I needed time to slow and I needed to quiet my soul. I wanted to stop living in fast forward and to begin to live intentionally again.

During this time of intensity, I did two things that I credit for saving my sanity: I gave up coffee and I returned to praying the entire Divine Office. Neither was my stated Lenten sacrifice. They both just happened as a graced gift of God.

I was very much out of my rhythm and feeling the lack of control that comes with a large family whose members are all suddenly needy at once. I recognized that I need to manage my stress better.  I resolved to return to the practice of praying the Liturgy of the Hours. While it was counterintuitive to add this to my "to do list," I knew from prior experiences that this was not a "to do," it was a grace infusion. I trusted. And I set out with a very deliberate, very disciplined plan.

Unlike times past, there was no nursing baby this time to sit with me and pray, to remind me with those most melodious "chapel bells" that it was time again to pray. This time, the bells were programmed into my iPod (a low tech early generation iPod touch with some real scars of its own). The bells on the alarm can be set to sound like church bells. {{Funny aside: I left my iPod at home one day recently when we met two families in the woods to enjoy the bluebells. As we were sitting in the sunshine, I was completely befuddled when I heard "my bells" chiming. Apparently, I'm not the only Catholic mom who uses this method to call herself to prayer. It was my friend's iPhone summoning her!}}

First thing in the morning, I seize that Heroic Moment. Here's where I'm honest and admit that it's not all that heroic for me. I'm totally a morning morning and relish the opportunity to see the sun rise outside my closet window. Yep. My closet. My exercise bike is in my closet and that's where I go for the first forty-five minutes of every day. My bike was a gift from my father, nearly 13 years ago. It is well loved. I pray the Invitatory, Morning Prayer, and the Office of Readings, while pedaling hard and long. Divineoffice.org on my iPod is my companion throughout the day. I listen and pray and pedal and start my day with energy and focus and an infusion of much needed grace. 

When I am finished, I've usually burned close to 300 calories;-). Oh, and I've prayed the psalms, the Old and New Testament, and read spiritual reading from the greatest spiritual leaders throughout time. The Liturgy of the Hours is rich with scripture, particularly with psalms. The Catechism describes the prayer of the psalms as the great school of trust in God. When I return to the psalms throughout the day, I am reminded to trust and to give everything to God. In a time of life that is full of pressing demands and unexpected crises, this is a message I need to hear from Him all day long.

Before my prayer time, alone in my closet, is up, I've prayed for the intentions of the Universal Church, for my own intentions, and for you. I think that is a very good--and very simple-- use of 45 minutes. Then, I shower and dress for the day. Usually, no one is yet awake. 

My husband is a television producer-director. He is conscious of "hard breaks," usually commerical spots that are already programmed into the broadcast. Whether the on-air talent is finished or not, that show is going to go to break at the pre-programmed time. When I was nursing babies, my spiritual director encouraged me to think of every time I stopped to nurse as a call to prayer. That strategy worked beautifully for many, many years. Now, I need my chimes. I've grown to think of my preprogrammed chimes as my hard breaks. Throughout the day, the chime of the bells compels me to stop what I am doing and redirects my efforts towards God. The effect of this intentional stopping is to slow time. Instead of the hours skittering away, the habit of intentional stopping for prayer focuses me.

Praying the Liturgy of the Hours was a very good way for me to get into the habit of stopping intentionally to refocus my day. After several weeks of this practice, I wanted to add other devotions, but I could sense that it would be impractical for me to add additional prayer time to praying all the Hours. I wrestled with the dilemma for awhile on my own with Jesus and then I sought spiritual direction. 

My good and holy priest smiled when I explained the dilemma and reminded me that I was praying more hours of the Divine Office than parish priests are asked to pray. We talked a bit about which devotions best suited my spirituality and my state of life. And we came up with a new prayer plan. I kept the morning routine, but changed up the rest of the day.

The next time my iPod chimes, it's 10:00. By this time, Mike has cleared the bedroom and gone to work. I leave whatever I am doing and go back upstairs. iPod in the dock, I pray Midmorning Prayer while I make the bed and tidy our bedroom. This is usually under 15 minutes of prayer time, but it's a very effective booster shot midmorning. Depending on my household and how schoolish things are coming along, I might gather up my little brood for a morning walk. The iPod goes into the cup holder in the stroller. My littlest usually plops herself down to be pushed, and we go for 20-30 minutes, listening to and praying the rosary. There is a free app here and there are several beautiful versions of a longer sung rosary on CD here. Then, back home and back to work.

We usually say grace and pray the Angelus at lunchtime (the Regina Coeli during the Easter season) and there's an app for that. There are several apps, actually. The one linked is a very simple one that has a chime that rings at noon (it can be programmed to ring at 6 AM and 6PM, too). If you have a favorite Angelus app, please chime in and let me know.

 

The next chime goes off at 3:00, the hour of mercy.  There's an app for that, too. (And it's free;-) Back outside for about 25 minutes or so, depending on what I choose to use to pray the Chaplet. My favorite version of the  Divine Mercy Chaplet is  about 11 minutes longer than the spoken version. But even if I use the long version, that's only an 18 minute walk.  Usually, I just keep walking and praying. Somehow, being outside is really important to slowing time and the movement of my body helps my to focus.

If this moving and praying is liturgically incorrect, I beg the Lord's grace. I think of Jesus as my exercise companion. He goes along with me on bike rides and long walks. I'm not a monk. My religious community is a motley crew of children with incessant needs.  I need this outside break to my inside day and so do they. I need to move. This is where a 2:00 cup of coffee with sugar used to go. No more. I was never a huge coffee drinker. A cup in the morning, maybe, and then that 2:00 shot of caffeine. But with the increased exercise and the loss of sugar for Lent, all my desire for coffee evaporated. Vanished. Now I let God's mercy and the great outdoors fuel my late afternoon and evening. And I have found that our Lord is abundantly generous! 

The bells chime again at 5:30. Evening prayer. This one is tricky. Always has been. We might be driving at this time, or I might be making dinner. If we are in the car, an iPod port makes it easy to listen to my iPod and go right on praying. At home, earbuds in the kitchen work just fine. My prayer time is rarely still. It's almost always active. Honestly, I find it easier to focus when I'm moving, but I do worry on occasion that our Lord asked that we "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalms 46:10)  I try to get to Mass several times a week and I'm pretty still there...

While I cuddle my little ones to sleep, we listen to the rosary, if we haven't yet prayed it that day. Or we listen to favorite lullabies.  I love this time. There is a peace to watching them drift to sleep, accompanied by prayer and song.

Night Prayer requires no alarm either. This is a well-established habit. I am in bed and still. Often, instead of my iPod, I use this lovely book. (Ouch, that's an outrageous new price. I do wish they'd publish these books again. They are so beautiful and there's nothing else like them.) It's all the better if I pray Night Prayer with my husband. It's a beautiful, peaceful way to end the day. No coffee. Lots of fresh air and exercise. An abundance of prayer. Even the sleep hours are so much more effective that they are mysteriously multiplied. 

All good. All grace.

Above is the outline of a day gone well. It's the ideal. Some days are less predictable. Some days are cranky and out of sorts. Some days, it's all I can do when the bells chime to throw my apron over my head and whisper, "Jesus, mercy!"

That works, too. For me, I've found that the habit of constant reconnecting with the Lord is the "how" of living an intentional, striving-for-holiness life. It's a habit I mean to keep.

In the Moment: Easter Monday

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

It's early April. The tulips are already spent. The bluebells have bloomed and gone. Patrick has readied the rose garden for its moment of glory. Thankfully, the rose's season will last a long, long time. 

And the boys have built a raised bed garden. It's just waiting. Isn't that a happy, hopeful thing? A brand new garden, filled with soil and ready for seedlings. What a gift!

 

::listening to 

birds. So many birds under the pear tree in my front yard. They sound just lovely.

::clothing myself in 

His infinite mercy.

 

::giving thanks for

 a very fruitful Lent--the grace of a silent retreat and some time away alone with my husband. I'm so grateful to the people who made it happen.

::pondering prayerfully

 

You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us. … O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in You. (Diary of St. Faustina, 84, 1319)

  

::turning the pages of this book

I spent Holy Week reading Consoling the Heart of Jesus. There are a small handful of books in my life where I remember exactly where and when I read them because those times and places are turning points. This book is one of those. It is easily at the top of that list. This incredibly readable volume makes some of the most beautiful truths and devotions of the Catholic faith understandable (at last)  and accessible (even to busy mothers of large families).  Fr. Gaitley brings together fine threads of several spiritual traditions and weaves them into a beautiful and exceedingly useful tapestry of a do-it-yourself retreat. It is Ignatian spirituality made accessible. It is the Little Way of St. Therese for all of us. It is consecration to Mary and devotion to Divine Mercy explained in plain language and made clear to little souls. Mostly, it is a rich volume of Merciful Words that brings Merciful Love to its readers. You don't have to have a weekend to make the retreat. You can just read a little each day until you are finished. If it's your heart's desire to get to know and understand Jesus better, tell Him. He'll help you find the time. I heartily recommend that you hurry and get yourself a copy of this book--what a beautiful way to spend the Easter sason.

::creating by hand

I think this is the week I will attempt to sew a garment for myself. More on that on Thursday. (A quick St. Anne prayer would be appreciated though;-)

  

::learning lessons in

re-entry. I was away last week. Now I'm back. You'd think after making every re-entry mistake in the book when I came back in January, I would have learned. But I'm still learning. 

::encouraging learning 

We have a few little Easter week happy things planned, but we also have some lessons to do this week. 

::carefully cultivating rhythm

I'm back in step with the rhythm of prayer. Lent is so good for that. I've resolved to keep all my Lenten resolutions. I made quite a few and they've born great fruit. I looked at every single one and decided that there was no better way than to celebrate the Easter season than to just keep doing what I've been doing.

One thing, though. I found, about half way through Lent, that I didn't really have time to write. I'd like to have time to write. I spent a good chunk of time alone last week and I had an opportunity to get some posts for this week written. Beyond that, I'm praying I figure out the writing time piece of the puzzle. 

::begging prayers

for my friend, Leslie who carries a heavy cross into the Easter season and for her children:  I pray that the joy of the Resurrection will be theirs even as the grieve. And for the repose of the soul of her husband: 

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

 

::keeping house

Yeah. That. I'm doing it, I promise;-).

 

::crafting in the kitchen 

this early spring has me befuddled in the kitchen, too. What local vegetable season is it, anyway? Farmer's Market is supposed to open in April. Any locals know which weekend?

I'm also planning meals to bring to my mother- and father-in-law. I need to think of things which are easily re-heated and provide some variety over the course of a few days. Any ideas?

::loving the moments

::I took lots of long walks in Coral Gables while Mike was at work. While the sights and sounds were wonderful, it was the feel of warm sun that especially blessed me. Oh, how that sun felt good!

::I had lots of uninterrupted time alone with Mike at te end of his work day.

:: After the feast and the Easter egg hunt yesterday, Karoline, who is five, organized all the cousins and siblings to put on an Easter play. From the Last Supper to the Resurrection, she scripted and directed the whole thing. It was a child who reminded us at the end of the long day exactly what the day was meant to celebrate. How happy she must have made Jesus! How He must have smiled at Nicholas carrying the seven foot cross and then curling up in the soccer-goal-turned-tomb. And Karoline, insisting it all happen and then bringing it life. Oh, to have the unabashed faith of a little child...

::living the liturgy

I'm determined that my family know that we are living the Easter season, just as surely as they knew that we were living Lent. What does that mean, exactly? How best to make it fifty days of bright hope and joyful prayer?

For us, Easter has always meant an abundance of time out door in the sunshine.  Our beloved bluebells have come and gone, so this year, we will spend April getting to know some of the later blooming flowers (which are also blooming early--we'll get to know traditional may flowers this April). 

It's also a season of blessed candles, holy water, and light. That means that candles will be lit on the mantel where the golden Alleluia letters shine, all the holy water fonts will be filled, and windows will be washed inside and out to let in the light. 

The Eastertide hymn will be rung (or sung  lustily as it may) and my children will be belting out Alleluias at random times for the foreseeable future, just because they can...

And we are looking joyfully forward to the Feast of Divine Mercy.

  

::planning for the week ahead

I plan to spend lots of time hugging on these sweet children! I missed them when I was away from them and I'm looking very forward to launching into this new season with them.

Many thanks to Emily DeHority for taking my camera in her hands thorughout the weekend. Some of these photos are hers. I'm not really sure who clicked what:-) 

~Holy Saturday~

From an ancient homily on Holy Saturday (source: divineoffice.org)
The Lord descends into hell

Something strange is happening—there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: “My Lord be with you all.” Christ answered him: “And with your spirit.” He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”

I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell. Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated.

For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree.

I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.

RESPONSORY

Our shepherd, the source of the water of life, has died. The sun was darkened when he passed away. But now man’s captor is made captive.
– This is the day when our Savior broke through the gates of death.

He has destroyed the barricades of hell, overthrown the sovereignty of the devil.
– This is the day when our Savior broke through the gates of death.

 

~ Good Friday~

"So they took Jesus and carrying the cross himself, he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, in Hebrew, Golgotha. There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, with Jesus in the middle."

John 19:17-18

 

Be with Christ today. Stand beside the cross and unite your suffering with his. Compare your wounds with his and see that they are small, but give them to him anyway. Compare your strength to his and see that you are weak, but give yourself to him anyway. Walk with him, bleed with him, die with him today.