Hello one and all! Last week was spent tanning in Cocoa Beach and arguing with TSA officials about whether or not half of 5 oz. is less than 3 oz. As interesting as these events sound they are, remarkably, not the press-stopping subject of today's post.
I've made it a pastime browsing through my stats, seeing what people are "Googleing" to reach my cluttered corner of the internet. On Sunday, I discovered that if you Google, "Preschool Application Essay" I am the twelfth (twelfth took me three tries before I managed to spell it correctly) listing. Truth be told, there are places that require application essays for three year olds. 92nd Street Y is one such place. After Googleing around I cam upon some helpful tips if you are planning on applying for 92nd Street's WonderPlay. Oddly enough, "Preschool Application Essays" also come up when you search, "Signs of the Apocalypse"...Just kidding...but not really
When describing your three year old, make sure to use words like, "imaginative", "exuberant", "inquisitive", and "sensitive". I would also recommend that you include, "potty trained" to that list. The New York Times wrote in a March 3, 2006 article of the stress of one Usman Rubbani, a graduate of Yale and Harvard, living in the Upper West Side of New York, who was desperately trying to gain admittance into one of New Yorks, "elite private preschools" for his twin children. The Times wrote that tuition for these schools can be over $10,000 dollars. These preschools look like a bad version of Pink Floyd's The Wall...not that there is a good version of The Wall. However, you can really see the difference between their finger painting techniques and their macaroni pictures when compared to those morons at KinderCare.
Does this knowledge bother anyone else? Can you imagine what happens to these kids when they hit thirteen? Or six? I don't know about you, but when I was three all I really wanted was to smear paint and watch Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood. In fact, I liked doing it so much that I still smear paint and watch Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood from time to time. Anyway, I that's my story today. I need to go work on a vacuum sealed bomb shelter for tomorrow's downpour of plagues and pestilence followed by rapture.