Peace, Pegs, Asking, Order, Obedience!

Over fifteen years ago, when Michael was preschool-aged, we participated with two other moms in an at-home preschool co-op.  We used the Joy School curriculum written by RIchard and Linda Eyre. (Yes, I know they're Mormon--we just used the curriculum, we didn't convert.) Part of the curriculum was the inclusion of darling little songs to help teach the lessons and all the lessons were virtue based.

In one lesson, we introduced family rules.  And the song went "Peace, pegs, asking, order, obedience! These are our family rules." I can still sing that song today and I often do.

I want to zero in on "pegs" today. Pegs are set times of the day around which other activities were organized.  For the Eyres, there was a real pegboard and when the duties ascribed to a certain peg were finished, the child put the peg in the board. For us, those pegs are "food times." And in my house, children expect to be fed at the same time every day. So, even though I really don't keep a strict schedule of the time between the pegs, the pegs happen at the same time every day. With each peg, there is prayer. This provides order in our days. And all the rest takes on a certain cadence.

My alarm is set to play a rosary CD.  I try to stay in bed and nurse for a decade or two. IThen, do a quick read through of message boards and Bloglines, while still nursing.  I get the baby dressed and then, I wake Mary Beth to hold the baby while I spend twenty minutes exercising and then take a shower.

First peg: A morning offering is prayed before breakfast. Breakfast is at 8 o'clock. I bring my husband breakfast in bed and we have some time to talk. The children have certain chores and duties which are "after breakfast" jobs. Those are completed and then we move to the schoolroom. A decade of the rosary can set the tone. I keep an eye on the clock and make sure to get everyone outside for a stretch and fresh air before the next peg: Lunch.

Lunch is always at noon, with the Angelus. After lunch, we have another chore each and we settle into an after-lunch routine.  It looks different depending on the child.  Little ones get downtime with a Signing Time video.  Primary age boys go back outside for a bit. Bigger kids go back upstairs. I go to my room with the baby to nurse her to sleep and pray the rosary. After the video, the little boys come back in and we are all in the room again for whatever unit we're studying together. When it's warmer, this will be outdoor time for everyone. Then, it's on to the next peg: tea time.

Tea time is more food, a drink, praying the collect and whatever novena is our current plea, and a book (chosen usually from the Five in a Row crate).  Sometimes, the tea and the book are keyed to the liturgical year. I read; they eat; and then we do a major clean up. Hopefully, the house is in order before my children are launched in a dozen directions to various activities.

The fourth peg is Dinner.  As much as possible, we eat dinner together, around the table, after grace, with no TV. Dinner is at 6 sharp, right after Daddy's shows.

The evening is all about baths and stories and settling in. After stories, everyone (but the biggest boys) settles into bed and I hear bedtime prayers. The girls listen to a rosary CD as they fall asleep and the sweetness of those roses waft throughout the upstairs.  I fold mountains of laundry. I nurse the baby one last time and I fall asleep praying.

In the jingle, "pegs" is bound by peace, asking, and order. "Asking " is simply never doing anything outside the routine or going anywhere without asking first. Peace and order are built on pegs and asking.  I find that when the pegs are in place, there is peace and order, at least relatively so.  There are nine children in this house most days.  They need to know what to expect next.  Surely, every day, something will come up. Something will be different. But the default is orderly; the expectation is for peace. And prayer is the peg we upon which we hang it.

We call him Super

When he was three, Stephen insisted he was Superman.  Furthermore, we were all in on the game and he assigned superhero names to everyone.  For weeks, he insisted we call each other by these names and we call him only "Superman." Even when our super-names began to fade, Stephen still insisted on Superman. And so it happened that everyone around us called him Superman--friends and neighbors, cousins and godfathers.  He became Superman. Over time, as the game faded and was replaced by other games of make believe, the name lingered in its shortened form: Super.

Now, on a soccer field on Saturday morning or a basketball court on Saturday afternoon, you can hear other children shouting, "Pass it here, Super!"  In the parish hall on Sundays, someone is sure to ask "Chocolate or sprinkles on your donut, Super?"  And it's not just the kids; the grownups do it, too.  I met in lady in the bleachers last week who didn't even know what my son's name really is.

Today, he turns eight! Happy Birthday, Stephen.  We think you're super!

Homemaking Meme

Aprons – Y/N?

Yes, I make a giant mess when I cook.

Baking – Favorite thing to bake:

Bread.  I used to grind my own wheat and bake four loaves at time, three days a week.  I ended up developing what they call "Baker's Asthma"--a wheat allergy. Now, I don't bake much of anything.
Makes me very sad.
Clothesline – Y/N?

No, our homeowner's covenants don't allow it.  So, I have a wooden drying rack inside that I drag outside on sunny days. 

Donuts – Have you ever made them?

Yes, but I make them in little balls, Italian style. They're called zeppole.

Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day:

Dishes

Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?

No, but I have a large upright in the garage.

Garbage Disposal – Y/N?

Yes and a large blonde labradoodle.

Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?

My neighbor when I first got married was a Mormon.  She's still my go-to gal when I need to know how to do something homemaking-related.  Her church really trains young women to be very good homemakers.

Ironing – Love it or hate it?

Hate it! 

Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?

Hmm, in the kitchen, in boxes at the bottom of my husband's closet, in each child's desk...

Kitchen: Design & Decorating?

Warm.  Warm pine cabinets, muted rose walls and tiles, brown granite. Really yucky vinyl floor that my husband promises will become warm wood very soon.

Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking?

Being home with my children. 

Mop - Y/N?

Not me! It's a job better done by a big, strong teenager who can't sleep.

Nylons - Wash by hand or in the washing machine?

Tights, in the machine on gentle.

Oven - Do you use the window, or open the door to check?

Open the door.  I have to see it, smell it, taste it.

Pizza - What do you put on yours?

Sigh...I wish.

Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?

I'll let you know when I get one.

Recipe card box - Y/N?

3-ring binder, lots of cookbooks, and the web.

Style of house -

Virginia colonial

Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N?

Tablecloth. The table I handpainted 4 years ago is chipping mightily--I'm waiting for Michael to work some magic. For now, I cover it. 

Napkins? Yes, many, many napkins and dishtowels, and paper towels, and cloth diapers to be used in all sorts of ways.

Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland?

Organized following a giant pipe issue which destroyed the floor of the cabinet.

Vacuum - How many times per week?

Every day. Big blonde labradoodle whose fur thinks he's all lab.  If someone tells you labradoodles are like poodles and they don't shed, don't believe them.  But do believe the part about them being really smart and very loveable.  He's wonderful, which is why I put up with all the fur everywhere and own stock in Oreck.

Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do a week?

At least 3 loads a day.

X's - Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?

No. I blog everything I do:-)

Yard - Who does what?

Christian does all the grass things on a tractor.  Mary Beth does the detail work.  Michael and Patrick help the two of them with gardening and landscaping duties.  I sit here and think of great ideas that require child labor and then call them education.

Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?

Folding laundry.

Around the Horn

Remember this picture?

Nicky went to work with Mike and spent some seriously fun time on the set of Around the Horn.

When he got home, he tried valiantly to recreate the experience with his siblings.  He plays the host and they are the panelists.  But it was difficult to do using nothing but kitchen chairs.

Two nights ago, I was awakened to a panic in the middle of the night.  I got up to do a "kid check" and couldn't find Christian. After several frantic minutes (that felt like frantic hours), I found him in the garage, constructing this of duct tape and cardboard.

Now, Nicky has a proper desk, complete with mute buttons and he can play on!  Here's what he thought when Christian unveiled the surprise:

Keep it real

Danielle asks us to be real today.  In part, she writes, I love reading about other Catholic families, but let’s be real: Most of us aren’t going to be airing our dirty laundry here. And of course that’s how it should be. At least to some extent.

Since I really did air  my dirty laundry online, perhaps I shouldn't comment on this angle of blogging, but...

We read these blogs to be encouraged. When we write these blogs, it's helpful to remember that we are called to build each other up.  Sometimes, the great idea, the beautiful organized home, the perfect lesson plans, really do encourage and build up another woman.  They give her tangible inspiration. I have printed Alice's tea idea and plan to use it on Friday.  Kim's home organization tips bless me every day, a dozen times a day. And I admit to having Dawn's post on lesson planning open all day on Saturday while I tried to refocus my own plans.  I'm so grateful for these women of faith!

Sometimes, it's the admission that we're struggling that offers a blessing.It's a blessing to be able to pray with a friend, for a friend.It's a blessing to see how she can start with a mess and to cheer her on as she brings peace and beauty to her family's lives. We don't want to write or read day after day about how hard it is, how much we want a moment to ourselves, how tired we are, how much laundry there is. That would be discouraging.  But there is comfort, every once in awhile, to know that we are not alone in our struggles--our imperfections. And there is great comfort in knowing that it's okay not to be perfect.

Danielle is the master of being real,encouraging her readers with humor and graciousness. We know she irons once a year. We know she's been caught speeding (more than once).  We know her children have eaten less than perfect diets occasionally.  And it's all good.  Because we are always assured that God is at work in the Bean home. If it were perfect there, they wouldn't need Him. But they do need Him and Danielle doesn't leave you with the ugly imperfect; she points you to the beautiful source of grace.

We're all working together towards heaven.  And guess what? Heaven and the blogosphere are not one in the same. Blogs are nothing but a waste of precious time if they're not helping us get to heaven.  Meet me where I am, with my imperfections and my insecurities and walk with me towards the Perfector. Be my friend. My real friend.