Preparing to Prepare for Easter

"From the outermost border of heaven is His going forth, and His goal is the outermost part of heaven, and there shall no man hide himself from His heat."  Psalm 18

Nicholas just turned six.  I love this age; there are usually so many really wonderful questions and conversations.  In Nicholas' case, he has to ponder something for a long time before he talks about it.  And then he has to rehearse what he's going to say with himself. So, sometimes, at what might seem like an odd moment, he just bursts out with a question:

"Mommy, I think it's possible you can sin so much you never go to heaven, right?"

Deep breath.

Nicholas, I want you to think about heaven like a warm hug.  God is waiting to scoop you up and give you the most wonderful, warm hug you've ever had. Nicholas is a hugger--this is a good eternal reward.

When you sin, you turn yourself away from God, you move away from the warm hug. Sometimes, you commit little sins and you are just walking away.  You can still feel God and He's still warm, but you're turned the other way and you're getting a little chilly. If you were to die, God would give you big hug and it might be a little uncomfortable at first but pretty soon you'd just be cozy.

If you commit great big sins and you're running away from God or so many little sins that you've walked a long, long way from Him, you will be very cold.  Your soul will be so cold that it's colder than your hands if you play in the snow without mittens.

And what happens when you come in from the snow when your hands are that cold and you run them under very warm water?  It hurts, doesn't it? The water isn't bad or mean.  It's the same warm water you love, but it hurts because your hands are too cold.

God's love, his hug, isn't bad or mean. It's the same warm, perfect hug of all, but someone who has sinned and never turned back twoards God is so cold that the warm hug is very painful. He can never be happy in that hug.  He can't hold his hands under the water and warm them up to be like God. Instead, he burns.

By now, I had the full attention of at least seven children. Stephen asked, "But what if you go to confession."

On your way to confession, you have decided you are sorry; you turn towards God. Right away he begins to warm you, to get you ready for the hug.  When you confess, your sins are forgiven and the hug feels perfect. And sometimes, walking back towards God seems like a long, long journey and you want someone to hold your hand along the way.  That's what the Blessed Mother, your guardian angel and all the saints you love will do. You can ask them to hold your hand while you turn and walk (or run) back towards the warm hug.

So, as we look towards Lent, we need to see how far we are from the great, big hug. We need to turn ourselves towards our Father and to remove those things that keep us from warming ourselves in his Love. When we fast, we do it to draw closer to God, to make ourselves aware that we need to be warmed by His love and that if we are not moving towards Him, we are growing colder.

Lenten fasting isn't about rules. It's about longing.  It's about wanting that hug so much and being made aware of our need for it. Fast and abstinence won't look the same for everyone. There are no fasting police. Instead there are the fasting traditions of the ages from which we can learn: the roadmap for turning ourselves around to face God.  And with that map, our hands firmly in the hands of the saints, we can walk to the glory of the great, warm hug. There is the great grace of the confessional, where we are the prodigal child who is scooped up in the joyful embrace of the father who was looking for him all along.

So, no, Nicholas, you cannot sin so much that you never go to heaven--just as long as you turn and go back towards the hug.

I LOVE You Tree!

 

The "Honey-Do List" in this house is quite long. In the interest of preserving marital bliss, I won't share it with you here. Let's just say that "Honey" started a new job just before the baby arrived and he's been working and traveling enough for two men ever since. That is the segue to revealing that (drumroll, please): The Foss Family Christmas Tree still stands proudly in my family room on this seventh day of February!

There was a time in the life of my marriage when I would have actually written that "Honey Do" list and I would have oh-so-carelessly left it lying around. Or, I would have invited his mother to dinner, knowing that he wouldn't want her to see the tree in the corner. Or, I would have pouted and moped and complained about (1)the fact that he was gone and/or (2)the fact that the tree is annoying my sense of order. Neither #1 or #2 does me or anybody else much good.  It's wasted energy and does nothing to contribute to the atmosphere around here. His mother isn't coming to dinner any time soon. And the last thing the poor, overworked man needs is another list of things to do.

There was later time in my life when I would have taken it down myself. But I have since learned that some jobs are better left to big, strong men (and I have the scars to prove it).  Now, I have a couple of big strong, young men in my house.And both of them offered to take down the tree. But I know my Honey--he wants the tree in the box just so (and rightfully, I might add--trees last longer when they are handled with care and they are far easier to assemble when put away properly). And I know my young men--better not to let them touch the tree. Family harmony next advent is worth far more than freeing up space in that corner of the family room.

So, it stands in my family room, ornaments long since put away. And it reminds me every day of just how hard my husband is working to feed and clothe and shelter and educate this very large family.  It stands there and very early in the morning when it's still dark and no one is looking, I turn on the lights and I say prayer for the man who wishes he were home more.  I ask God to show us how He'd have us live, which choices He'd have us make. And I thank God for the Honey who chose that tree and who provided for it and for the house where it stands.

So, it only seemed natural on one very cold winter evening, when Honey was still at work long after dinner was done, to turn to those beautiful children and ask them to help me make that tree everything it was meant to be.

We took the pink paper hearts on which we'd written all the things and people we love and rested them firmly on the "God" doily and we hung them on the Daddy Valentine Tree! Martha Stewart, you can have your efficiency calendar that tells us all when to take down the Christmas tree. Mine just became the Tree of Love in this house full of life!

Peace, Pegs, Asking, Order, Obedience!

Over fifteen years ago, when Michael was preschool-aged, we participated with two other moms in an at-home preschool co-op.  We used the Joy School curriculum written by RIchard and Linda Eyre. (Yes, I know they're Mormon--we just used the curriculum, we didn't convert.) Part of the curriculum was the inclusion of darling little songs to help teach the lessons and all the lessons were virtue based.

In one lesson, we introduced family rules.  And the song went "Peace, pegs, asking, order, obedience! These are our family rules." I can still sing that song today and I often do.

I want to zero in on "pegs" today. Pegs are set times of the day around which other activities were organized.  For the Eyres, there was a real pegboard and when the duties ascribed to a certain peg were finished, the child put the peg in the board. For us, those pegs are "food times." And in my house, children expect to be fed at the same time every day. So, even though I really don't keep a strict schedule of the time between the pegs, the pegs happen at the same time every day. With each peg, there is prayer. This provides order in our days. And all the rest takes on a certain cadence.

My alarm is set to play a rosary CD.  I try to stay in bed and nurse for a decade or two. IThen, do a quick read through of message boards and Bloglines, while still nursing.  I get the baby dressed and then, I wake Mary Beth to hold the baby while I spend twenty minutes exercising and then take a shower.

First peg: A morning offering is prayed before breakfast. Breakfast is at 8 o'clock. I bring my husband breakfast in bed and we have some time to talk. The children have certain chores and duties which are "after breakfast" jobs. Those are completed and then we move to the schoolroom. A decade of the rosary can set the tone. I keep an eye on the clock and make sure to get everyone outside for a stretch and fresh air before the next peg: Lunch.

Lunch is always at noon, with the Angelus. After lunch, we have another chore each and we settle into an after-lunch routine.  It looks different depending on the child.  Little ones get downtime with a Signing Time video.  Primary age boys go back outside for a bit. Bigger kids go back upstairs. I go to my room with the baby to nurse her to sleep and pray the rosary. After the video, the little boys come back in and we are all in the room again for whatever unit we're studying together. When it's warmer, this will be outdoor time for everyone. Then, it's on to the next peg: tea time.

Tea time is more food, a drink, praying the collect and whatever novena is our current plea, and a book (chosen usually from the Five in a Row crate).  Sometimes, the tea and the book are keyed to the liturgical year. I read; they eat; and then we do a major clean up. Hopefully, the house is in order before my children are launched in a dozen directions to various activities.

The fourth peg is Dinner.  As much as possible, we eat dinner together, around the table, after grace, with no TV. Dinner is at 6 sharp, right after Daddy's shows.

The evening is all about baths and stories and settling in. After stories, everyone (but the biggest boys) settles into bed and I hear bedtime prayers. The girls listen to a rosary CD as they fall asleep and the sweetness of those roses waft throughout the upstairs.  I fold mountains of laundry. I nurse the baby one last time and I fall asleep praying.

In the jingle, "pegs" is bound by peace, asking, and order. "Asking " is simply never doing anything outside the routine or going anywhere without asking first. Peace and order are built on pegs and asking.  I find that when the pegs are in place, there is peace and order, at least relatively so.  There are nine children in this house most days.  They need to know what to expect next.  Surely, every day, something will come up. Something will be different. But the default is orderly; the expectation is for peace. And prayer is the peg we upon which we hang it.

We call him Super

When he was three, Stephen insisted he was Superman.  Furthermore, we were all in on the game and he assigned superhero names to everyone.  For weeks, he insisted we call each other by these names and we call him only "Superman." Even when our super-names began to fade, Stephen still insisted on Superman. And so it happened that everyone around us called him Superman--friends and neighbors, cousins and godfathers.  He became Superman. Over time, as the game faded and was replaced by other games of make believe, the name lingered in its shortened form: Super.

Now, on a soccer field on Saturday morning or a basketball court on Saturday afternoon, you can hear other children shouting, "Pass it here, Super!"  In the parish hall on Sundays, someone is sure to ask "Chocolate or sprinkles on your donut, Super?"  And it's not just the kids; the grownups do it, too.  I met in lady in the bleachers last week who didn't even know what my son's name really is.

Today, he turns eight! Happy Birthday, Stephen.  We think you're super!

Homemaking Meme

Aprons – Y/N?

Yes, I make a giant mess when I cook.

Baking – Favorite thing to bake:

Bread.  I used to grind my own wheat and bake four loaves at time, three days a week.  I ended up developing what they call "Baker's Asthma"--a wheat allergy. Now, I don't bake much of anything.
Makes me very sad.
Clothesline – Y/N?

No, our homeowner's covenants don't allow it.  So, I have a wooden drying rack inside that I drag outside on sunny days. 

Donuts – Have you ever made them?

Yes, but I make them in little balls, Italian style. They're called zeppole.

Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day:

Dishes

Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?

No, but I have a large upright in the garage.

Garbage Disposal – Y/N?

Yes and a large blonde labradoodle.

Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?

My neighbor when I first got married was a Mormon.  She's still my go-to gal when I need to know how to do something homemaking-related.  Her church really trains young women to be very good homemakers.

Ironing – Love it or hate it?

Hate it! 

Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?

Hmm, in the kitchen, in boxes at the bottom of my husband's closet, in each child's desk...

Kitchen: Design & Decorating?

Warm.  Warm pine cabinets, muted rose walls and tiles, brown granite. Really yucky vinyl floor that my husband promises will become warm wood very soon.

Love: What is your favorite part of homemaking?

Being home with my children. 

Mop - Y/N?

Not me! It's a job better done by a big, strong teenager who can't sleep.

Nylons - Wash by hand or in the washing machine?

Tights, in the machine on gentle.

Oven - Do you use the window, or open the door to check?

Open the door.  I have to see it, smell it, taste it.

Pizza - What do you put on yours?

Sigh...I wish.

Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?

I'll let you know when I get one.

Recipe card box - Y/N?

3-ring binder, lots of cookbooks, and the web.

Style of house -

Virginia colonial

Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N?

Tablecloth. The table I handpainted 4 years ago is chipping mightily--I'm waiting for Michael to work some magic. For now, I cover it. 

Napkins? Yes, many, many napkins and dishtowels, and paper towels, and cloth diapers to be used in all sorts of ways.

Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland?

Organized following a giant pipe issue which destroyed the floor of the cabinet.

Vacuum - How many times per week?

Every day. Big blonde labradoodle whose fur thinks he's all lab.  If someone tells you labradoodles are like poodles and they don't shed, don't believe them.  But do believe the part about them being really smart and very loveable.  He's wonderful, which is why I put up with all the fur everywhere and own stock in Oreck.

Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do a week?

At least 3 loads a day.

X's - Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?

No. I blog everything I do:-)

Yard - Who does what?

Christian does all the grass things on a tractor.  Mary Beth does the detail work.  Michael and Patrick help the two of them with gardening and landscaping duties.  I sit here and think of great ideas that require child labor and then call them education.

Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?

Folding laundry.