Nap Time

Sarah Anne took a nap yesterday. It was a real, regular nap-for-baby. I wasn't holding her. She wasn't being swayed in her carseat. No one was wearing her in a sling. She just slept, there in my her our bed.An hour and a half into this novel experience, I admit that I went up with my heart in my throat to see if she was still breathing. She was. She was all sweet and soft and pink and still asleep!

I cleaned the mudroom.

I pulled everything out, put the winter coats away, wiped down the washer and dryer. I even scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees. Honestly, I stopped just short of painting the entire room. Naps have their limits.

Today, I thought I'd push my luck and see if I could get her to take a real, regular morning nap. So, I put her in my  her our bed and nursed her to sleep. Only this time, I did so while reading my new book: Seams to Me: 24 New Reasons to Love Sewing. And now I'm in trouble.

I don't really love sewing. We sort of have a love-hate relationship. Every once in awhile, I think I can sew. I try a project, it comes out fairly well and then, I go buy more fabric. The tension tightens up on my machine. I fix it (but I don't know how I fixed it). The bobbin gets tangled. I untangle it. I get totally frustrated with the machine. Then the tension is in my shoulders and not just the machine.

Last time, I got a new machine. It worked for a project or two. And then there was the tension.And the bobbin.And then the needle broke. And finally, I gave up. Because there's only so much sewing one can do during naptime if the machinery won't cooperate.

Hope springs eternal.I just sacrificed naptime to reading a sewing book. All the while, I was thinking about the season Jennifer started sewing and how effortless she made it seem.One minute she was thinking she'd learn how to sew and the next minute, there were amazing quilts. And then there was Kristen--she of all things beautiful. And then, I started thinking about fabric. I do dearly love fabric. I do dearly want a reason to spend money at visit the site Jen recommended not too long ago.

I spent the whole naptime reading the book. It's full of great ideas, but it begins very slowly-in a good way.The author, Anna Maria Horner, leaves nothing to chance. She takes me step by step through the sewing process, from making sure the chair is the right height to stocking the sewing box to choosing an ironing board. Surely, she'll hold my hand through the technical glitches. And then, it's on to the projects: those little yoyos turned into magnets and a board upon which to stick them, a fabric box, two different skirts (both darling), a peasant blouse, some bags, pillows, and a soccer ball I can just picture for Sarah Anne's first birthday. The book is of course, beautiful--lovely to look at, lovely to hold, lovely to read-- because Anna doesn't just write about sewing; she designs her own fabrics and a whole bunch of other things. And it's all beautiful.

Did I mention she's expecting her sixth baby?

So, maybe I can do this. Maybe this baby will be the one who grows up wearing handmade clothes (made by me).Maybe the next quilt on my bed will be one I made. So much promise in a single nap.

Lent Day 10

Fast: Giveup your pride. "A soul does not benefit from the sacrament of confession if it is not humble. Pride keeps it in darkness. The soul neither knows how, nor is it willing, to probe with precision the depths of its own misery. It puts on a mask and avoids everything that might bring it recovery." St. Faustina

Pray: Go to confession.

Give: Take your children to confession. 

Friendship, Gratitude, and Blogs, Oh My!

Last night, I went to bed thinking about Charlotte's thoughtful post.  I'm still thinking about those lines from Amy's blog and Ann's blog. And I'm thinking about my day of relative quiet yesterday, away from the chattering noise.

I've never been much of a chatterer. Too serious, perhaps. Or too shy. Or too introverted. Or perhaps it's just that I only have one ear and extra noise makes it very difficult for me to hear what's really important. I'm a deliberate, focused listener from way back.

I had two friendly conversations yesterday and I'm still giggling at God's plan for the day. In the first conversation, a little bird told me that another bird really thought it best that I not "tweet." We talked about all the reasons and I much agreed. Twitter is a fun way to give glimpses into one's day and to see little glimpses of another's day. It works for getting prayer requests out there and that's never a bad thing.  It's a totally ridiculous way to actually have a conversation. I'll save my conversations for email and telephone calls. And thanks, little birds, for caring.

The other conversation was with a friend whom I've long admired as an excellent blogger. She is one of those rare souls who just plain makes life beautiful. Her blog was always worth my time--always offered something of value. But she, too, is a quiet soul and she needed some time to retreat and reflect. She's an artist and a poet and a thinker and when she prayerfully shares we all benefit. We talked at length about blogging and blessing and we came to the conclusion that blogs can indeed be spiritually beneficial. We also affirmed again that blog friends are real friends.

I think that some of what Charlotte values in blogs is sensitivity. Of course not every blog author is sensitive and not every blog exudes sensitivity, but I find myself drawn to the ones that do. Blogs are blank slates, templates upon which we can express ourselves. We can share the joy of life lived intentionally. We can share tough times, too, if we are honest. And both those things can be read by our friends with an abundance of grace. That's when blogs rise to their greatest mission. They offer encouragement for the journey towards heaven.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the tips on curriculum and great books. I'm grateful for the kick in the pants to get my house clean. I'm grateful for the deep philosophical ponderings of women wiser than me.I'm grateful for a hearty laugh now and then. I'm grateful because I know that when I feel burned out, tapped out, and stressed out, I can click around and predictably find a friend.I'm grateful for encouragement and inspiration I could have never even imagined when I began this journey--gosh, a generation ago.

Can a blog be a blessing? Oh, yes it can! I know those blessings well. I fell asleep last night counting those blessings by name. Imagine my delight when I awoke this morning to discover that the artist and poet and thinker I love so much has decided to blog anew. And imagine how right it all seemed when I learned that her new blog is named evoglia~the Greek word for blessing.

Go visit. Be blessed!

(Be sure not to miss this.)

Lent Day 9

Fast: Don’trob your family of yourself in order to impress others. That’s not impressive.

Pray: Give your troubles to God who is infinitely powerful and can transform them.

Give: Be Christ to your family today. Feed their minds. Fill their hearts.

Sarah Anne Giggles

Before you roll your eyes and wonder if I'm going to blog every single milestone of this baby's life: well, yes, actually, I am. I wondered if I'd ever hold her, wondered if we'd both live to talk about her birth,wondered if she'd be "OK." And then, she was here. She was very still and quiet. She didn't look at me. She didn't smile. She didn't coo.For what seemed like a very long time.Who was she? What was she thinking? Did she know how much I loved her?
My friends reported on their babies' smiles--babies born long after my sweet Sarah was.

 Has it only been four months since that late October day? Seems like forever.

So, when she giggles, my world stands still. I know God is giggling with us.

And I just have to tell someone.

Thanks for listening.