Daybook on the Feast of St. Augustine

Outside My Window

A beautiful, unseasonably cool day.

I am Listening to

The little girls “reading” What Do You Say Dear?

Stephen and Nicky talking about how they’re going to work out and get really big and make the National Team…

I am Wearing

A yellow t-shirt that says Virginia State Champions  2009 U14 and a pair of Umbro sweatpants that I’ve long coveted. They are were Paddy’s. He’s sponsored by Nike now and can’t wear any of its competitor’s clothes. Adidas anyone? We have plenty.

I am so Grateful for

~dear friends who have been tender and kind in so many ways.

~ a bushel of peaches on a day when rhythm and beauty around the kitchen island brought comfort and

~ the person who knew that peaches would be a very good idea. That would be the same person who got up early to sit with me at Nicky’s soccer game right after Paddy took off and just talk about normal stuff.

~my mother and stepfather who made a computer possible for Patrick and thereby guaranteed we’ll see and hear him often.

~the chance to see how much my kids care about each other.

~sweet blond heads on my shoulders.

~gifts and blessings, even when it’s really, really hard to see that’s what they are.

~ Patrick, who assured me it was good enough.

~ Mike, because…

I'm Pondering

I have sometime placed my hopes in my own virtue, which was no virtue; and when I attempted to run, thinking I was very strong, I fell very quickly and went backward instead of forward. What I expected to reach, disappeared, and thus, O Lord, in various ways You have tested my powers. ~St. Augustine

I am Reading
Nothing. I can’t concentrate right now. Surely this week that will improve.

I am Thinking

I think that any time a child leaves home, it’s only natural to think reflect on our role in that child’s life. When we homeschool, the role is such a large, all-encompassing one. When a homeschooled child graduates and moves into the next stage, we think about a job completed—what we did right, what we’d do differently. I did that when Michael left. It prompted stinging criticism at a time when I was already raw. So, we’re not going there this time. And this time is different. This time, I wasn’t finished. I had four days to take a child who’d never stepped foot in a classroom and ship him off to boarding school almost a thousand miles away. This time, he left three years earlier than I thought he would. And so, I’m definitely thinking big thoughts. This time, I know better than to share and I’m keeping them very much in my heart. But I offer this for your pondering: if your child unexpectedly left home and went to school next week, no doubt there would be things undone, well-laid plans untouched. But off he’d go and you would be left to think about what you did do, what you did offer. Are you doing things in the right order? Would the important things be done?

I am Creating

Zilch. I am so exhausted that I’m just sitting here waiting for life to happen. It always does.

On my iPod

My Wish. I’m not listening to it though.

Towards a Real Education

On Monday, we will settle into our new normal. I will be grateful for the sweet faces around my table and the opportunity to begin again, a great deal older and wiser, I think, than I was just a month ago.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty

Remember this line, from last week?

Until the inevitable unplanned….

Oh my. The inevitable unplanned. And then some.

To Live the Liturgy

Having trouble getting through Mass without crying. No doubt that will improve, too.

I am Hoping and Praying

~for Patrick, who starts school on Monday, for his teachers, his coaches, and all the people who will touch his life for the next fourteen months. Please, God, be with them all.

~with gratitude for the Campus Ministry at George Mason University, which has been everything I prayed it would be three years ago, and so much more.

~for Michael, who begins his final semester on Monday.

In the Garden

Paddy, I promise—I really, really promise—to take very good care of your roses.

Around the House

The house is trashed. I’ve been gone for the better part of the last two weeks. And the people who moved out of here? The left huge messes in their wakes. Monday we clean. Cleaning is always healing.

From the Kitchen

Peach pies and peach crisp. And we cooked a lot last week. Paddy in the kitchen is a happy thing and we were going for lots of happy. This week, we tweak the menus and make sure they work with the fall schedule. And there will be apples—lots and lots of apples.

One of My Favorite Things

Skype.

Sarah Annie this week

Sweet darling. Snuggle in and sing to me in that dear voice. Be patient as I hold you and inhale your baby head. Know how much you are loved and hear me promise again to treasure every moment.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week

Colleen and her boys will spend part of this week with us. We’re planning to go apple picking on September 1^st. I am astounded by God’s providence. Last year, I wanted so badly to be with her. This year, we’ll mark the anniversary together. God is good.

Picture thoughts:

 

Sarah picked the picture this week.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.[ This isn't really a moment I want to savor, but it's a real moment. I look like I've been crying for days and I'm trying not to cry again. I do, however, want to savor all the moments like this one that we've gathered over the course of a childhood. It's a happy place--that kitchen of ours.] If you're inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Listen Together

Please read my new column at the Herald.

Before He Goes for Real

It's going to be a quiet week.

...on the blog, that is; certainly not at home.

Patrick called from camp yesterday to tell us he's been invited to join the U17 National Team Residency Program for the year. He flew home last night and needs to let them know today.

He leaves to go live in Florida on Saturday.

I've been awake much too long and had far too many intense conversations to begin to convey the experience here. We're going to be very busy the next few days getting him ready to go.

In the mornings, he will train. In the afternoons, he'll be going to school at St. Stephen's, an Episcopal school in the area. When he's traveling, they will travel tutors with him. Today we begin gathering what he needs before he leaves. He's got a huge list of school supplies--including uniforms--definitely uncharted territory in this house.  I'm sort of grateful that the shopping will give me something to keep my hands busy and productive. It's a lot to do in a very short time, but maybe that's for the better.

In two weeks, he leaves for a ten day trip to Spain, the first of many international adventures this year. While in Florida, he'll be living in the dorms at IMG Academy, an elite sports training facility. You can read about it here. The alumni links are pretty interesting.

Paddy has always done things with intensity, usually earlier than anyone else. So, I guess this should not catch me by surprise the way it does. The thing about a gifted child, though--they tend to make themselves the center of the universe. We're all feeling a little knocked out of our orbits this morning.

So, it will be quiet on the blog the rest of the week, as we gather and prepare (and party a little). If you think of us, might I ask a particular prayer?

Patrick was born on a Sunday morning, just a little before noon. We were home by evening. Mike tucked me and the baby into our bed, with Michael and Christian on the other side of us. There was no room for him, so he went to sleep by himself in the spare bedroom. In the middle of the night, he came in and stretched his 6'4" frame across the foot of the bed. Half asleep, I asked him what he was doing.

"I missed him. I didn't want to be so far away."

And so it's been, for Paddy's whole life. Please pray for them.

Daybook-August Waning

Outside My Window

A summer day. A yard that needs mowing again because we actually had real rain this week. Gathering clouds…

I am Listening to

Karoline singing the ABC song, interspersed with Do-Re-Mi…

I am Wearing

A t-shirt, shorts and a heating pad. My neck and shoulders are so tight I can’t turn my head.

I am so Grateful for

~Jen, Julie, and Mary Chris—who made Wednesday much better than Tuesday. Thanks for calling, for coming by, for laughing with me. Gosh, I needed to laugh! (And, Julie, thanks for loaning us Bailey.)

~A lot of time at Starbucks this last week to write and people watch and collect my thoughts. I wouldn't want to live that way all the time, but for that week, it was a good thing.

~Mike's perspective and patience.

I'm Pondering

These words, quoted by one of my favorite priests this morning and sent to me by an old friend. I pray it’s so!

He drew a circle that shut me out,
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win,
We drew a circle that took him in.

~Edward Markham

I am Reading
Safe People.

I am Thinking

About this scenario and that scenario and the other scenario, and wishing I’d just know WHICH scenario already so I could get on with it!

I am Creating

New chore charts.  I still don’t know if Patrick will be here or not, but I expect to have that final piece of the puzzle soon. In the meantime, I’ve been working on “training” some small people for slightly larger jobs.

On my iPod

Also sent by my friend Karen this morning.Once upon a time, Karen and I were pregnant together, awaiting spring babies and sharing faith on a college campus. Those boys are 18 years old now.  I am proud to report that I did not cry when I watched this video. Instead, I watched and was very grateful for all the seasons that lie ahead. That’s serious progress, ladies:-)

Towards a Real Education

I polished up the Middle Ages Reading List for everyone from Karoline to Christian.  I finished (for now;-) logging it all in on the CM Organizer. I completely cleaned and organized the sunroom for our learning purposes. We’re good to go! Tomorrow.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty

Yesterday, the little boys’ practice schedules were finalized. I fought the urge to curl up in ball and put my hands over my head (which is where we left off at the end of last season). Instead, I gridded it all into iCal and then I planned menus around it and then I talked with my bigger kids and we planned who was going where when. I feel sort of better. A little. Maybe.

Until Paddy arrives and things get thrown again.

Until Ballet registration and I learn something I hadn’t previously known.

Until Katie starts swimming.

Until the inevitable unplanned….

To Live the Liturgy

Still focusing on St. Monica.

I am Hoping and Praying

~For my father, who is scheduled for knee surgery tomorrow.

~For Patrick who will have some big  decisions to make any minute.

~For my niece, Catie Lea, who begins her college adventure on Tuesday –and for her mama, Michele.

In the Garden

Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes.

Around the House

We’re going to paint this week. My friend Julie (who is the only reason my husband is trusting me with a paintbrush) says she’ll help with the bathroom painting. I know me: When you give a mom a paintbrush…

From the Kitchen

I’m kicking into the fall menu earlier than I’d like. The schedule is going to require some stewy, slow-cooked things. Personally, I’m not eating any of it. I’m existing on tea, green smoothies, an occasional soy latte, and sushi every now and then. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

One of My Favorite Things

Text messages from my boys—not really, but I’ll take what I can get.

Sarah Annie this week

I think she needs to go in to be weighed and measured. I’ve been looking at pictures of other ‘babies’ born when she was and she seems really tiny in comparison. I saw recent pictures of my cousin’s little girl, who was born a couple of months before Sarah and I had to stop and check to be sure that she was born before Sarah and not Karoline. I’m not really worried because she’s thriving and seems very well, but I have a hunch she’s teeny-tiny.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week

Soccer Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and  a tournament on Saturday and Sunday. Paddy comes home Monday night—I expect our schedule this week will be affected somewhat by whether or not he’s going to return to Florida for the full-year residency program.

We are going to begin our lessons as planned.

And we are going to squeeze those last few weeks out of the neighborhood pool.

Picture thoughts:

 
Me: Kari, that outfit doesn't match.

Kari: Of course it does. Grandma gave me the shirt. Grandma gave me the pants. Both from Grandma, so they match each other. Perfect!