Small Steps Together: Encourage One Another

Courage--noun : mental or moral strength to venture , persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

Encourage--transitive verb a : to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope : hearten <she was encouraged to continue by her early success> b : to attempt to persuade : urge <they encouraged him to go back to school>

April's Small Steps entries are devoted to Courage; actually; they are Danielle's and my attempts to encourage you (and us) to be courageous. In our family, encouraging is highly encouraged. One of my most quoted Bible verses is "Encourage on another and build each other up!" (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Actually, that's not entirely true. The verse is

[11] Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing (RSV)

but--ahem--the "just as you are doing" part doesn't really fit. Because, they are not doing it--not so much. The boys, especially, are given to jostling for postition, asserting their superiority, and tearing their siblings down in the process. It's very disconcerting and not a little disappointing for a mother to witness. I want nothing more than for them to be good to one another, to be each other's staunchest supporters and greatest advocates. I keep reminding myself that they are children and I keep reminding them of the verse.

Sometimes, they nail it. I'll see them sincerely lift one of our own. Most often, it's an older sibling who encourages a younger one. That's the easier, more natural inclination. It does a heart good to witness a big boy say just the right thing to a little one and turn a whole game around for the better. It's endearing to watch big sisters patiently stand by and offer just a little assistance when a little girl insists on dressing or feeding herself. But the truly golden moments, precious and rare, are the ones when the older children encourage each other.

It might be as simple as a look, a shared smile, and understanding pat on the back. Every once in awhile, it's a full-fledged pep talk. And those are the times when I can barely contain myself. I want to shout from the rofftops, "just as you are doing!' Do it again!" But I refrain, because they'd probably think that really weird.

What about God? When He watches us, brothers and sisters in Christ? Does He want to remind us to encourage one another? When we get it right does He wish He could say "Just as you are doing! Do it again!" Actually, He already said it. It's up to us to take it to heart.

It's up to us to pray for the grace and the sensitivity to be genuinely encouraging to one another.

 Do we inspire with courage, spirit, or hope?  I know I encourage my children; it comes naturally and I've been encouraging since the day they were born. It's compeltely counterintuitive and unnatural to me to be anything but encouraging.   But what of the non-kid relationships? We are called to community and in that community, we are called to encourage.

Can I do that?

Can I be courageous and step out of my comfort zone in order to hearten someone else, particularly another woman? The encouraging words that flow so naturally when I look into the face of a child, will they come for my neighbor? Yes, by the grace of God.

And I pray for that grace.

Small Steps focuses on courage this month. Would you share your thoughts with us, let us find you and walk with you? I'd be so grateful and so honored to have you as a companion. Please leave a link to your blog post below and then send your readers back here to see what others have said.You're welcome to post the Small Steps Together banner button also.

Daybook: Laetare!

Sunday, late afternoon...

Outside My Window

The birds are making some raucous music

I am Listening to

Birds. And the dryer, washing machine, dishwasher--all my "servants: up early and working for my household..

I am Wearing

pajamas.

I am so Grateful for

~ a giant bowl of Pho at 8:00 last night. First time I ate all day yesterday and we squeaked in after soccer just before closing. Good recommendation, Barbara!

~encouraging knitting emails and notes. It's been pure joy to learn this art, mostly because people are so nice.

~surprise sushi

~Connecticut in the finals: Christian picked UConn to win it all. He was, by his own admission, under the influence of all kinds of pain meds at the time. Everyone laughed at him. But here's the deal: if UConn wins, he will win the office pool. What office, you ask? Oh, ESPN Washington. How fun would it be to go to work with Dad and claim that prize? From all those sports experts. Very fun. Tonight, we're all UConn fans.

~Spud and Chloe sweater weight yarn. I am not sure I could wear it without itching, but, so far, I can knit with it. Hooray for that. Wish it weren't so pricey, though, because I have my eye on several patterns at the Spud and Chloe blog (linked above).

~Soccer friends. The outdoor season started yesterday and it was good see soccer friends again.

~Soccer sisters. Oh, how much fun did my girls have while the boys played! There's something special about sister friendships formed on the sidelines oever years and years.

~Butch Morley, the team chaplain for the U17 National Team. I was really worried as I knew that Patrick was going to learn of Ty's death, by text messages from guys up here likely, before we could talk to him. And then I was worried about him being down there all alone to process it. But he wasn't alone. I don't know the details, but I do know that Butch was there. And Butch has been there all year. And I'm ever so grateful to Butch for his kindness and his generosity and his love of Jesus.

I'm Pondering

"See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little. "
~Pope John XXIII

I am Reading

Got that in great detail here.

I am Thinking

that we began Lent with a funeral and now, midway through, another funeral. An icon in the DC Metro area soccer world died Saturday, leaving an entire generation of soccer players and their families grieving.

I am Creating

A sweater shrug :-) I casted on for the striped version for Karoline this weekend. It was slow going at first, as I learned a new yarn and a new technique but I'm so enjoying the colors.

On my iPod

nothing new. 

Towards a Real Education

Still pressing on to tie up loose ends before the bluebells. And making some plans for nature studay on the banks of Little Rocky Run.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty

I've given up on normal. This week won't be normal either. Mike's dad fell yesterday and after a day spent in the emergency room, was admitted last night. Any week that begins with a hospital admission isn't likely to be a normal one. So, we'll rely on the basic plan and just do the best we can.

To Live the Liturgy...

Yesterday was Lataere Sunday. Halfway there! Increasingly, this Lent has been about discerning who God created me to and how He calls me. I'm finding the answers a bit surprising. I'm grateful for the time and the prayer.

I am Hoping and Praying

for Elizabeth deHority. She is constantly on my heart and in my prayers. She needs you now. Please, please pray with me. A great deal of testing and specific diagnosis lies ahead this week. Please pray for wisdom and prudence and the grace and strength to know and do His will.

for the soul of Ty Lewis and for his family and for the countless soccer families who grieve his loss.

for Mike's dad and for his mom and for his medical care.

for Marisa, who surely will have her baby this week. Surely as these things get.

 In the Garden

It has rained and rained and rained. And now, it's not raining and the day will be warm. Perfect weeding weather and we have just the weeds!

Around the House

Oh. my. goodness! What  a huge difference a fresh coat of paint makes. Michael is on a roll. He's nearly finished with the first floor. And he has grand plans to finally finish all those things the "professional basement finishers" never finished when they ran off with our money nine years ago. And then the upstairs needs painting, too. I may never let him get a real job;-).

From the Kitchen

Recipe testing some meals inspired by the farmer's market for the summer issue of Faith and Family.

One of My Favorite Things

Sunday mornings with three and four year olds in the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium. Karoline's godmother, Mel, is the teacher there and usually, Mary Beth is her assistant. Mary Beth stayed with a friend last weekend and went to the Pure Fashion show, so I stepped in for her in the atrium and Sarah Annie got to come along for the first time. Twelve hours later, she was still singing the songs. She had a wonderful morning. And so did I.

Sarah Annie this week

She got into some Revlon Color Stay lipgloss on Saturday. Stay, it does. ON HER FACE. It will not come off. I've tried oil, soap, makeup remover, baby wipes. Nope. It Stays and Stays and Stays. Pretty scary, huh? It's been forbidden in this house henceforth. Back to Aveda.

A Few Plans for the Week

Plans? Hah!

The absolute only plan I am going to make is that I dearly hope to make a HAPPY trip to the hospital.

To visit a new baby. Baby, do you hear me? This week would be good and if you cooperate, you might get to see the bluebells this year. Maybe.

Picture thoughts:

 

Taken just before church yesterday. I resisted the urge to pin a note to her explaining that I had, indeed tried (hard) to wash her face.

{{Comments are open. I have been terrible about responding to mail. Please forgive me? I do read every single note and I do pray for you. But, I don't always answer promptly. I'm hoping that having comments open on occasion will give me a chance to answer the more common questions for several people at once and will give you dear ladies an opportunity to talk with each other. They are moderated, so if you don't see yours at first, it means I'm busy knitting, it will appear shortly.}}

{This Moment: Skype Knitting}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.  Photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, visit Soulemama to leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Yarn Along: One Pink "Fweater"

Pardon me, please. I'm a little late to the Yarn Along.

I was knitting.

Elizabeth teased me last week that I had my first UFO (Unfinished Object). Indeed, I had casted on for Katie's shrug before finishing Sarah's.

But only because I didn't know how to finish Sarah's.

I definitely don't think I will be the UFO type. I'm all into finishing. Like stay up until midnight and get up a 5 AM to finish finishing. So, this week, Sarah's "fweet fweater" is finished.

 

{Come here, Baby Bedhead, see what Mama has for your morning surprise.}

And Katie's is completed all except a few more easy rows of length and the ruffle.

 

{{{And blocking and buttons (but I don't know how to do those yet and I've lost the buttons somewhere in the van).}}}

The goal is to finish all by Friday, when I expect the mailman will deliver yarn for Karoline's striped shrug. I don't want to start something new until I finish these.

 

We're reading lots of knitting-and-wool-related picture books. I cleared out the glass-fronted cabinet in the family room and installed our yarn (a shelf for me and a shelf for the girls), a basket of needles and such, and these lovelies:

Phoebe's Sweater (for more on Phoebe, don't miss this interview and Phoebe Mouse's blog)

Freddie's Blanket

Knitting Nell 

Charlie Needs a Cloak 

Warm as Wool 

The Mitten 

Sunny's Mittens 

Pelle's New Suit

and these for next week:

Woolbur 

Noodles Knitting 

Red Berry Wool

Argyle

Much Easier to Give up Chocolate

I have thought and thought about a final sacrifice post; written a couple, actually, and left them in draft. Last night, as I was listening, these verses jumped out at me. I've quoted just below from the New American Catholic Bible on the USCCB site.

Avoid foolish and ignorant debates, for you know that they breed quarrels.

A slave of the Lord should not quarrel, but should be gentle with everyone, able to teach, tolerant,

correcting opponents with kindness. It may be that God will grant them repentance that leads to knowledge of the truth,

and that they may return to their senses out of the devil's snare, where they are entrapped by him, for his will.

~2 Timothy 2: 23-26

In the Revised Standard Version, which is the audio version, it reads:

    

Have nothing to do with stupid, senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.

 And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to every one, an apt teacher, forbearing,  correcting his opponents with gentleness.

God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, 

and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Stupid, senseless controversies are good things to give up. Sacrificing harshness and unkindness? Also good.

~~

"You didn't give up chocolate for Lent, did you?" my friend Becca asked Christian, as she presented him with some Belgian chocolate from her recent trip to Europe.

"Nah. I was going to give up chocolate, but this whole blood mess started the day before Ash Wednesday and with all the medicine, it seemed like a better idea to give up caffeine."

"Ahh, the Lents when we give up chocolate are always so much easier than the ones when we don't choose what to sacrifice."

Indeed. It's one of those "universal truths," time-proven by the faithful, that Christian is learning this Lent. Sometimes, God chooses our sacrifices and, not surprisingly, those are not the easy Lents, but they can be the most fruitful.

I had one of those fruitful --but not of my own choosing-- Lents one year.

For years, I was at the tipping point. Something's got to give, God, I'd whisper aloud. I have too much to do. Something is robbing me of the time and energy to live with grace and joy. And always, the same idea would present itself. And I'd reject it. No, not that. God doesn't want me to stop doing that. It's helping people. I'm surrounded by religious women. They're teaching me so much. Even my husband doesn't think I should give that up.

And then, one Lent, it was completely wrenched away. Painful Lent. Brutal in its glaring honesty. It was nearly a year before I could understand how kind God had been to me, how patient He was as He tried to show me. 

God knew. He knew the tangled relationships, the snares that fed my weaknesses, the way that this investment of time and energy was really robbing me, even as I thought I was growing in holiness. He knew the ways that I had sinned and sinned and sinned again. And the sacrifice had been forced. For my good.

I had been forced to let go and turn instead to Jesus Himself for support.

Mine is not a unique experience. We are social creatures and most of us fall into companionships and associations that at some time are not healthy for us. It's not even that the people with whom we are associating are bad. They are just not good for us. In hindsight, God has always warned me of such relationships before the wrenching. Sometimes, I've heard and listened. More often, there's been a wrenching.

As my children get older, I see them wrestle some of the same things (of course they do; it's universal). Particularly tricky are people who go through all the right motions: attend the right church, show up at the right activities, profess to believe all the right things. But they don't lead to God Himself. They don't bring their companions closer to Jesus. They don't walk hand in hand with the Savior while offering the other hand to you. They don't make you better for knowing them.

Not bad people, necessarily. Just the wrong companions for you.

Giving up those relationships, sacrificing the human comforts they bring, is undoubtedly difficult.

It would be much easier to give up chocolate.

There is someone in my life today who has brought me closer to Jesus just by allowing me to be in her presence. And she is pure gift. A gift I didn't seek, a gift I never expected.  She is the embodiment of "let the children come". And she teaches with utter gentleness.

Just yesterday, I told her that I want to be her when I grow up. That is, when I am a mature woman of faith, who lives with the love of Christ, I think it will look and sound a lot like her. At least I pray it will. I told her I want to speak to children the way she does, with genuine respect and honest encouragement and profound appreciation for the gifts they are.

Come to think of it, I want to speak to everyone like that.

Time with her is time well spent. Lessons she teaches me are God's lessons. Gift. Grace.

My friend is struggling. Every breath is effort.

She doesn't get to choose what to sacrifice.

Please pray for God's most tender merices for her.

Please join us in prayer. If you'd like to post this reminder on your blog, the code is

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that {our} hearts may be encouraged as {we} are knit together in love, to have all the riches of assured understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, of Christ,
in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge

~Colossians 2:2-3