"We want three matching capes, Mama.
Red."
I'll see what I can do. Come back later to check on our progress.
{edited to add: the capes are in Oliver + S--Little Things to Sew
Please check back later to see if the capes come to life this weekend.}
Once I told someone that if this homeschooling mom gig didn't work out, I'd love to have a cooking show. I like to cook. I like the art and the science of making food taste good and look beautiful. I like messing with presentation. I like to put plates in front of my family that make them slow down and savor the moment. Maybe it's genetic. I come from a long line of Italian cooks who respect the beautiful .
She scoffed. Scoffed! She actually said that food was just something to make, eat, and clear out of the way. She said she couldn't be bothered with thinking too much about it. She had a family to feed and it was sinful somehow to give food more than its utilitarian thought.
I gulped. Didn't talk to her about food again.
Last year, I relinquished my inner foodie. First, I acknowledged that it didn't play well with all-day-long morning sickness. Then, it didn't hold up to the admonition not to be on my feet more than necessary. Then, it died altogether when I was banished from the kitchen and sent upstairs for 6 weeks of bedrest. After the baby was born, I couldn't really multi-task the premature baby nurturing and tasks that required--well--my hands.
We didn't starve. Remember, the foodie thing is genetic. Almost all of my children appear to have inherited the gene. The jury is still out on the one who puts hot sauce on everything. They COOK, these kids. And they care about presentation. The eight-year-old is particularly fond of finding just the right garnish.
Now, though, I'm back in the kitchen. I choose menus that are a bit more involved than I probably should. I stand at the counter and do quite a bit of peeling and chopping. I am certain to make a mess as I go. I can almost hear my utilitarian commenter clicking her tongue and telling me that there is no place for creativity in the kitchen, that it's a waste of time and energy. No matter. I find loving, thoughtful creativity has much the same effect in the kitchen as it does in the schoolroom. joy in the beautiful process is contagious and it draws us all in.
I'm not in the kitchen alone. Ever. The creative process and the creative product draw my children to me. They want to help. They see the joy that cooking brings and the want to be a part of it. And there we are, busy creating, when something else happens. They start to talk. Big ones. Little ones. They instinctively know that that recipe with all those steps will hold me here in this sunny yellow room. I will not leave. I will not turn away. I will listen. And they can be assured that I will hear the subtle seasoning in their stories. I will be attuned to the questions they hope to be asked. I will the mom in the apron who knows that it's not about the white sauce at all. It's about the inevitable conversation that happens around good food. It happens at the table, of course. We eat as a family and never are at a loss for words. But the intimate conversation, the sharing of hearts, happens over nearly-bubbling milk, whisk in hand.
I take the time to consider food. To consider cost. To consider skills. To consider time. To consider cleanup. And I decide again and again to choose the thoughtful, creative approach. Because, really, there are so many ways our children need to be nourished. Food is just the beginning.
~from the archives because I'm thinking these thoughts again today.
{{Sixth in a series discussing The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity.}}
This week, I'm looking to the Toolkit to get our conversation of the 10 Habits started and I'm counting on you to chat it up in the comments. I'm still recovering from what can only be described as epic mastitis. Sarah may never be allowed to wean--I'm afraid to ever "skip" a nursing again.
So, let's look at four ways to value and practice faith.
#1 Think Before You Leap. Dr. Meeker writes, "When we choose to pursue faith, we must keep our eyes and minds wide open, but we must keep our hearts open as well. We must find the balance between learning, reading, and seeking answers on the one hand and following answers that we feel God is giving us on the other. We should seek and then when God answers, find what He gives us."
I think she speaks here to the balance between a completely emotional, "feeling" approach to God and one that draws upon reason to enlighten faith. Perhaps it's just the communities to which I've been exposed in my adult life, but I've met far more people who intellectualize faith (I actually think that in this context "religion" is the right word) than those who "simply feel." Your experience may differ. I know that growing up, the context of faith was almost entirely "simply feeling," and I was hungry for something with some "teeth." Perhaps I gravitiated towards a an extreme interpretation of codified "religion" in order to compensate for that sense of twisting in the wind and looking for firm ground. This chapter is about balance. Balance is a good thing, I think.
Dr. Meeker urges us to look towards those we respect in our faith communities and ask for reading suggestions, so as to gain a better grasp of the tenets of our faith. The idea is to come to an understanding of God that is solid--that stands the tests of our incessant questioning and thoughtful doubts.
What have you read that has nurtured your intellectual understanding of God and so fed your faith?
#2 Make it Personal. Many of us come from a faith tradition with a wealth of intellectual treasure to read and a very complete catechism. Putting the first tool to work isn't challenging. In our lifetimes, we'd never have enough time to read all there is out there. But the second tool is perhaps more challenging. The second tool requires that we allow ourselves intimacy with God. For many of us, intimacy with anyone--genuine, soul-baring intense closeness--is very difficult. And so, prayer is difficult also.
Dr. Meeker writes,that "we must also allow a certain openness and availability to God if faith is to be personal. Herein is where the exchange begins. Prayer begins this communication. In the quiet of our rooms, the car or in bed at 3 A.M., the conversation begins. It is God and us. We begin by asking questions or simply by saying “hello.” Sometimes we scream or cry; other times we simply ask if He is real or if, perhaps, we are sharing our innermost hopes with nothing but the cosmic void. Then we wait. Over time, we pray again and again and tell God that we need to know if He is there or not. Then we wait again. What we learn through the prayer and the waiting is the beginning of faith. If we have cultivated a prayer of meditation life with God we can instinctively slide into a conversation in prayer for comfort and help when the real tough stuff happens."
How have you found fruitful prayer?
What are some ways to overcome spiritual dry spells?
#3 Find Community. Ah. Community. All the introverts run;-) In all seriousness, community is for some us the greatest struggle. And, sadly, it is in faith communities where a great deal of hurt and sorrow can happen. There is unique pain that comes with being wounded in a community of believers and when we are hurt, there is an instinct to run and to isolate our faith, walling off just one woman and her God, in order to avoid the possiblity of further hurt or disillusionment in a community of Christians. Just knowing that pain is possible causes women to refrain from intimate relationships with other believers.
Still, we are created to worship in community and to find Him in community. Where two or more gather in His name, He is truly there in the midst of them. It helps, I think, to be humble as we seek community, to genuinely understand that, as Dr. Meeker puts it, "others in a faith community teach us about the character of God. As believers who long to adopt His character and follow His directives, they reflect who He is. The love that God feels for them will move into them and then we who sit in the pews next to them or who pray beside them will mysteriously soak in some of His love. In a faith community, each of us learns more about God, people, humanity, and acceptance than anywhere else on the planet."
That scenario is, of course, the ideal. {Our faith communities often offer us opportunities to learn about forgiveness and the need for a savior as well.} I think it's important to bear in mind that the body of Christ is large and it's universal. Good, faithful, holy people who can teach us about the character of Christ can look very different from one another. There are different charisms in a universal Church and there is a place--a good fit, a good community, a close family of brothers and sisters-- for each of us.
Dr. Meeker asks, "Think about your faith community. Who does it include? How does it help to continually reinforce and solidify your faith? How does it benefit and influence your family life?"
#4 Serve. "Over our lifetime, the only way each of us will come to understand the value of another human being is by serving him. Giving brings about humility and humility draws us closer to God."
There are so many ways to serve! The reality is that when our children are young, our concentrated efforts at service will be feeding the hungry and clothing the naked in our own homes. Sometimes, the only service you can muster for a three month stretch of time is consuming essential nutrients and keeping them down long enough to nourish the baby growing in your belly. Those are genuine acts of service. They count. And they bring you closer to God in a way almost no other experience can.
It is vital to our souls that we bring to God our desire to serve and ask Him where He would have us work. Then, we beg the grace to all He wants.
Where can you best be of service? Can you share some ways you've served with your family? Do you and your husband share an apostolate outside your home?
The rest of our discussions of The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity can be found here. The first two conversations are
Part 1(discussing Habit 1)
Part 2 (still discussing Habit 1)
Part 3 (still more on Habit 1)
Part 4 (Habit 2: key friendships)
Part 5 (Habit 2: your thoughts on friendship_
I know a bunch of you purchased the Stitch by Stitch book. What do you think? Have you gotten started? Chosen fabrics? Please leave a comment or a link below and let me know so we can go check it out.
This week's Stitch-by-Stitch project was an eye mask. While we don't need a family's worth of these, we did have one genuine, urgent need for one. Michael's new job has him working the overnight desk at USAToday from 7PM to 3AM. Every day. Then, he comes home and attempts to sleep.
Katie made him a mask from navy blue flannel and she used a ribbon we had hanging around to tie it. She filled it with lavender but left out the dried lentils because he's sleeping in it. He was most appreciative.
In order to gain more experience from some of the skills taught with the eye mask project (insides and outsides, stitiching around curves, ties), we turned our attention to aprons. A ridiculous number of aprons. I've lost count it's so ridiculous.
First the girls each made an apron of the fabric Katie used to back her quilt. Yes, we still have more of that fabric. I used an old apron we decorated for a Tomie de Paola apple printing project, way back when Michael and Christian were little. It served as a very nice template for the medium sized girls. It's a bit large for Karoline, but she wanted hers to be just like Katie's and Gracie's. I traced the outline of the old apron onto a double thickness (wrong sides together) of the quilt fabric.
Then, knowing that all four girls would want their aprons that day, I opted to use ribbon ties instead of making fabric ties. I pinned the ribbon in place to the right side of one of fabric pieces. Then, I gathered all of the ends in the middle and pinned them so that they would not accidentally get sewn into a seam.
We sandwiched the other fabric piece on top so that the right sides were together and we stitch all the way around, leaving a hole big enough for my hand to fit through at the bottom.
Then, the great inside out magic. It never gets old. Reach in the hole and pull the inside out through the hole. We did it over and over again. After turning to the right side out, I pressed all the way around, tucking under that open edge at the bottom. And the girls top-stitched it closed and top-stitched the whole apron.
For Sarah, I used an even smaller template as a pattern. Michael printed on this apron when he was not-quite-three, just Sarah's age now. I think we have archeological evidence that we grow attached to our aprons around here. I remember so many messy, happy times with this particular garment.
We repeated the above process in miniature.
Four happy girls, ready for a new year's worth of domestic adventures, on the Feast of St. Martha. Definitely a new tradition.
(I promise Gracie's fits. She just wouldn't let us tie for her.)
I want to be able to sew garments. And I'm trying to be patient and let myself work all the way through Stitch by Stitch, knowing that there is garment sewing at the end. But when I really stop to consider my every day wardrobe, it's pretty much the same year 'round: t-shirt of some sort (vary the sleeve length with the seasons) and jeans (either full length or capris). And an apron. I have some old aprons--one denim, one red-and white picnic check, one to match the canvas one above, and another canvas that used to have a French Quarter motif screened on it, but that has long since washed away. I wear those all the time and they all look pretty terrible. And here's the thing about aprons: the say "I'm home and I'm planning on staying here awhile." So, why not have that message be a beautiful one? One that sings that the people at home are worth a little extra effort to look pretty and the work I'm doing is worthy of its own dignified attire. And there is one apron I love. That apron is the one I made several years ago.
I love that apron. It fits well, reverses beautifully. It's pretty much the perfect apron for me.I made it from a pattern in this book. So why not make a bunch? That way, I have a pretty apron that really does function as a wardrobe piece, even when I'm "just" at home with my kids. I want to use these fabrics, I want to make things that are useful and beautiful and, frankly, my skills are limited. But aprons I can do. And boy did I:
This one is called Summer House, it reverses from a bright blue, to a pretty pink paisley floral print.
This one is Dogwood Trail. I don't have a finished picture and I'm too lazy to get up and take one right now, but this is kind of my "I'm in denial that summer is ending" apron.
And this is the "it's going to be fall and fall is beautiful, too" apron. I think the idea of an autumn with a Bohemian Soul sounds just fine.
There's is something very right about sewing with fabric called Grace Evergreen Flowers and Grace Evergreen Paisley. I'm thinking this is Christmas-y without being super fa-la-la-la.
This one is my favorite, so far (well, maybe it's a tie with Bohemian Soul). It's just such a happy country french kitchen look . And vertical stripes are always a good thing, right? And a pretty little floral. The thing with the stripes, the pattern in the book cuts that one yard of each fabric really tight. It's darn near impossible to have enough fabric to make the ties if you're trying to work with the stripes, hence the ribbons. Also, I decided that these look more finished if they are topstitched all the way around. So I did.
This apron, with its pretty blooms and sunny yellow reverse, is at its new home in Charlottesville. It's perfect for this kitchen, I think.
Wish I'd snapped a shot of it there.
The boys needed aprons too. And so they made theirs.
Heavy duty denim that reverses to a bandana print (Robert Kaufman's American Heritage. I bought it locally and can't find a current link).
Mary Beth chose Paris Aparment coordinates: Sunny Le Chintz Moderne and Dusty Rose la Salle du Soleil.
There's one more Paris Apartment in my future, of this and this. I'm fairly certain that even if I sew nothing else from Simple Sewing, I've gotten my money's worth out of the apron pattern:-).
Skills We Learned:
Stitching Curves
Insides and Outsides
Making Ties
Filling and Stuffing
Slip Stitch
Our Stitch-by Stitch projects so far:
See our knitting needle cases and Kindle case here
See our Fancy Napkins here.
You can read about my back-to-school prayers here. What are the ways you get yourself ready for the new school year?
I'm Elizabeth. I'm a happy wife and the mother of nine children. I grab grace with both hands and write to encourage myself and others to seize and nurture the joy of every day. I blog here with my daughter, Mary Beth, a wholehearted young lady on the brink of adulthood.
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