Thank God for Little Girls

Counting feminine blessings, today.

~Sweet, giggly sleepyheads ever so excited about strawberries, cream, scones and tea and a chance to watch a real live princess walk down the aisle to her prince.

 

~Sighing and smiling and countless requests to watch it again on Youtube.

~A full day of playing wedding, each of them taking turns being the princess bride.

~An evening spent with Mama's and Daddy's wedding album: Mommy looks like a princess, too. And see how Daddy is smiling at her? That's because they love each other.

~Her insistence that they show the album to Daddy when he gets home and that they make him sing all the songs from his wedding.

~Fifteen hand-painted notes for him, stacked on the office desk, awaiting his return.

~The way they refer to themselves as "the girlies." 

~And the way the littlest one refers to the others as "my girlies."

~About a million hair bows.

~The way her hair makes tight ringlets in the rain.

~The way the others love her curls (and wish they had them, too).

~Laundry separated into lights, darks, and pinks.

~Monday ballet afternoons and the outrageous noise level of fifteen giggling, dancing girls.

~And the three little ones all want to grow up to be just like the big sister.

~All five of us knitting together--and teaching Gracie and Mel to knit, too. That way, as Gracie so aptly put it, "We'll all have something to do when we're old."

~Utter delight in the first meal of the season taken out of doors.

~Them begging to go back to  the bluebells.

~Littlest one reaching over all the other pretend cupcakes so that she can have the chocolate pretend cupcake.

~An afternoon of dressing up, posing for the camera, and somehow blurring the line between props and real life, so that they are sure they just had a fancy tea party in the woods.

~The tender care they take of their rather large family of baby dolls.

~The way they don't play "House" (as I did), but they play "Babies" and the favorite game of all, "Babies and Friend Moms."

~Sweet smelling bathtimes, pink fingernails and toenails, rub-rub after the tub.

~Long, curly eyelashes on barely pink cheeks in the glow of the hall light when I kiss them goodnight one more time.

~My heart filled to the brim with my sweet girlies.

{all photos courtesy of the amazing Lori Fowlkes}

Celebrating Papa

~Because this letter, written four years ago, is on my heart as we look towards Sunday's beatification. Of course, there was a baby after this one, too. God's generosity exceeds our most fervent prayers.~

 

April 1, 2007

Dear Papa,

I had planned to write a long column this weekend, in time for tomorrow. But the baby was sick and my hands were full, so all the writing I did was in my head.  I planned to write about that sobbing prayer two years ago, when I begged you to intercede for me. And then I'd write about all the little miracles strewn like roses in the days and weeks and months that followed.

Instead, I stayed up all night, dancing with my daughter.  She was feeling poorly and whimpering to be held. I gathered her up out of my bed and swayed with her in the darkness. For hours.  I sang my full repertoire of musicals.  I moved on to old Raffi tunes. I added a little Glory and Praise. And then, I switched to "You Light up my Life."  Her tears ceased and mine fell freely. I settled into the big chair, her head heavy against my chest and I remembered.

I remembered a time two years ago that was dark and sad. I was struggling with depression and so was Mike. Together, we were fumbling in confusion. Recovery from childbirth had been difficult. Recovery from a miscarriage more difficult. A year of infertility following that miscarriage was a year of pain like none I'd ever known. No light. Only darkness.  And on that Friday night, I held an eerie vigil in front of the muted television.

Please God, I don't know what I'll do without my Papa. And yet I know, I know that he is yours; he always was. Morning dawned and the day moved forward and then you were gone. And as naturally as the sobs escaped my throat, my soul begged your intercession. Tell Him, Papa! Please tell Him how sad I am, how much I want a baby, how much Mike needs him. Tell Him, Papa--I know you can.

And you did. Within an hour of that prayer, the answers began to become so clear.  You led us to a different parish. You put people in my path who would insist that I get to know the Little Flower you loved so well, the dear Saint you called a Doctor and by whom you trusted that the fullness of faith could be taught. She and you taught me about Love--Love incarnate, a good and gentle God who understood my pain and stooped to bind my wounds. I re-read all your letters to me. I read her words. Light dawned, love flickered.

Looking back, I should not be surprised that in the months following your death, I pushed by forces greater than me to travel. You were never afraid to travel. I had not been on an airplane in fifteen years. But I flew three times that year. The first time, I went Chicago and visited the shrine of St. Therese and left my petitions there. The last time, I went to Florida at my husband's insistence. We were there for an art gallery opening but we took a day trip to St. Augustine and the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche.  I had a long talk with Our Lady that day. She already knew.I'm sure you told her.

One night, nine months after you died, my husband lit a candle in a church where you once celebrated Mass, in the presence of your relics. And then, our wait for a baby was over and yet it had begun. For nine more months, I was still, love growing inside of me.  I learned to love your favorite prayer and I prayed the rosary with St. Therese, sometimes twenty decades a day, including the five new decades that were your gift to me. All the time, I was almost afraid to believe, almost afraid to think that the light had returned and darkness was dispelled.

Then she was here.  A glorious, beautiful, darling little girl. We call her Karoline Rose. She is a shower of roses, a basket of blessings. She is sweetness and she is light.  As she grows, I will tell her.  I will tell her about her Papa. She will know you and she will be grateful to share your name.

But now, she calls again. Enough remembering. I am living in the present, embracing every moment. I know you're here. I know you see her dear, dimpled chin. I know you watch me kiss her fat little cheeks and I know you smile.

Thank you!

The Perfect Spring Break

We took a deep breath of sweet fresh air (much of of it misty and rainy, but all good anyway). Every day, for nearly two weeks, we hung out by the creek, in the woods, on the rocks. We played and played and played. Down there, old friends joined us to keep a spring tradition going: godchildren and godmothers, big kids who were toddlers together, middle kids who once were babies in slings, toddlers walking these banks all on their own, and ~oh-be-still-my-heart~ new babies out for the very first time in spring sunshine. We also had the great, glorious privilege of introduing new friends to our place of joy. All in all, it was pretty much perfect, there in the spring and the flowers and the mud.

This slideshow is probably too long for anyone but Mike to watch to the end, but it does capture our days and Mary Beth and I hope it brings a spring smile to your day.

The perfect song is Virginia Bluebell by Miranda Lambert.

On My Mind: Easter Week

Sunday, late afternoon...

Outside My Window

It's finally spring. Virginia is greening up nicely and we're sure glad to see it.

I am Listening to

The Ladies of Cecelia perform Be Still and Know--over and over and over again. It's really beautiful. Longtime followers will recognize the amazing vionlist as MacBeth Derham's daughter, Libby. I think you will agree that she's grown into quite the lovely young lady.

I am Wearing

A sweater and a skirt and an apron.

I am so Grateful for

~safe travels. Mike and Patrick are in Amsterdam this week.

~3 goals and a 3-2 win over China. Patrick scored all three.

~decent telephone connections

~knitting

~cotton yarn

~a daughter who knows that baking is art

~Easter with grandparents and cousins

~ a darling picture of a young soccer player wearing Patrick's National Team jersey. Paddy signed it for him and sent it back to his parents so they could put it in his Easter basket.

I'm Pondering

Knitting twelve sweaters isn't insane. It's actually part of what keeps me sane, keeps me calm and focused on the important things, and brings me present into the here and now. Pretty amazing for something as simple as wrapping some string around a couple of sticks...over and over and over again. Until there's a sweater....or twelve. ~Amanda Soule

 

I am Reading

Organized Simplicity 

I am Thinking

about what to keep and what to change from my Lenten rhythm and resolutions. Actually, there's very little I expect to change. The only book I read during Lent was the Bible. I do look forward to delving into the stack I have for myself, but, I'd like to keep the extended Bible reading time as well. And all the other disciplines? All good. It was a very fruitful Lent.

I am Creating

A sweater shrug (number 5 or 6?) and I'm starting a new project this week, too.  With handpainted yarn. Karoline painted it. Much more on that later this week.

On my iPod

Knitting Yarns and Spinning Tales

Towards a Real Education

Mary Beth and I mapped out her first high school year and got everything tidied up and ordered. We'll begin next week. I like to have our school years run year 'round and my goal this year was to finish before the bluebells bloomed so that we could really enjoy some extended time outside this spring. That plan is mostly on track.

I know that she wishes she were attending a one of two schools in the area. The first is all girls and way out of our price range and a long commute. The second is an impossible commute. We're both trusting that God will provide during the next four years. I'm grateful that she is who she is. Pure blessing.

Towards Rhythm and Beauty

This Easter was very different than I imagined just a week ago. I thought we were going to the Shrine downtown and then to brunch at the club. Early in the week, we decided Mike should fly to Holland to meet Patrick. So, that makes it the first holiday without everyone together. That's new. Then, Mike's dad fell for the second time in as many weeks and it was clear that we couldn't do the trek into DC. So we stayed home. I  just sort of did reprise of last year. And it was fine.

But I missed them.

To Live the Liturgy...

Easter isn't time or place or even tradition. It's the awareness of the risen Christ and the intimacy of His forgiveness and His friendship.

Stephen and Nick served Mass Thursday night, SAturday at the Easter Vigil and first thing Sunday morning. This fact might not be remarkable except that before this week, they'd never, ever served. Now, they know what they're doing.

I am Hoping and Praying

for Elizabeth deHority. She is constantly on my heart and in my prayers. She needs you now. Please, please pray with me.

for the soul of Ty Lewis and for his family and for the countless soccer families who grieve his loss.

for Sarah and her family as they grieve the tragic loss of her sister-in-law.

for Mike's dad and for his mom and for his medical care.

 In the Garden

We planted sunflowers and snap peas and spring lettuces and morning glories. The tulips are fading and I need to think about color for the front beds. I'd like to get creative and I'd like to plant some perennials. In the end, I'll probably plant two flats of petunias. Just like last year.

Around the House

A few fun new Easter things.

A copy of Tangled and a very effective new de-tangler.  (Guess whose basket?) Hat tip to Lori.

Fresh supplies for the easel

Chocolate-covered espresso beans.

From the Kitchen

Recipe testing some meals inspired by the farmer's market for the summer issue of Faith and Family.

~Fettuccine Gazpacho Salad

~Mixed greens with Strawberry Vinaigrette

~Zucchini bread

and some more you'll have to read about in the summer issue. By the way, I got a sneak peek at the spring cover last week. So much darlingness:-)

One of My Favorite Things

safe landings

 

Sarah Annie this week

She misses her daddy. And her Paddy. This has been an intense time of travel for Mike. He's rarely been home this spring. Sarah is very attached to Daddy, so his absence rocks her world. And she's a big Paddy fan. Pretty much, we're both hanging on 'til the end of May.

A Few Plans for the Week

homecomings: Mike on Monday and Patrick on Tuesday (but Paddy will only be here for few jetlagged hours.)

For the first time in eleven years, I'm going to meet a friend for lunch. And a visit to a yarn store. I'm giddy with excitement.

More bluebells, no doubt, as they begin to fade. And lots of Bluebell Blogging. I have a billion blue photos to share.

Pretty sure there will be a doctor's appointment for Mary Beth. She had a CT scan last week to address some ongoing problems related to  last year's eye injury.

Make-up State Cup game from the weekend of the deluge. No idea when that will be, except it must be before Saturday, when the Round 2 game is to be played. And it's in Richmond. Can't wait to drive to Richmond on a weekday evening/afternoon.

Picture thoughts:

  

{{Comments are open. I have been terrible about responding to mail. Please forgive me? I do read every single note and I do pray for you. But, I don't always answer promptly. I'm hoping that having comments open on occasion will give me a chance to answer the more common questions for several people at once and will give you dear ladies an opportunity to talk with each other. They are moderated, so if you don't see yours at first, it means I'm busy knitting; it will appear shortly.}}

Yarn Along: One Pink "Fweater"

Pardon me, please. I'm a little late to the Yarn Along.

I was knitting.

Elizabeth teased me last week that I had my first UFO (Unfinished Object). Indeed, I had casted on for Katie's shrug before finishing Sarah's.

But only because I didn't know how to finish Sarah's.

I definitely don't think I will be the UFO type. I'm all into finishing. Like stay up until midnight and get up a 5 AM to finish finishing. So, this week, Sarah's "fweet fweater" is finished.

 

{Come here, Baby Bedhead, see what Mama has for your morning surprise.}

And Katie's is completed all except a few more easy rows of length and the ruffle.

 

{{{And blocking and buttons (but I don't know how to do those yet and I've lost the buttons somewhere in the van).}}}

The goal is to finish all by Friday, when I expect the mailman will deliver yarn for Karoline's striped shrug. I don't want to start something new until I finish these.

 

We're reading lots of knitting-and-wool-related picture books. I cleared out the glass-fronted cabinet in the family room and installed our yarn (a shelf for me and a shelf for the girls), a basket of needles and such, and these lovelies:

Phoebe's Sweater (for more on Phoebe, don't miss this interview and Phoebe Mouse's blog)

Freddie's Blanket

Knitting Nell 

Charlie Needs a Cloak 

Warm as Wool 

The Mitten 

Sunny's Mittens 

Pelle's New Suit

and these for next week:

Woolbur 

Noodles Knitting 

Red Berry Wool

Argyle