Laundry Again

Today is a determined laundry day. I'm highly motivated. Michael will be home later tonight. With all. his. stuff. He's finished, a brand new college graduate. And I'm guessing he's not bringing home clean clothes. Paddy will be home the beginning of next week. Last time, he brought home 37 pounds of laundry. He has no laundry facilities at school and is required to pay to send it out. A dollar a pound. He doesn't launder all that regularly.

And, I'm making up beds in that room that will soon be full of my big boys. I'm looking so forward to having them home there, even though I know there will be an inevitable fight over the top bunk. Still, it matters to me how the bed looks and feels that first night home. Patrick's Facebook status just a few hours after he arrived here for Thanksgiving was "My own bed:-)" How that made me smile! He appreciated that bed.

But I'm doing laundry today and I'm not blogging. Instead, I leave you with my laundry and linen thoughts from a few years ago. Happy washing!

Dsc_0947     It's clean sheet night. I love clean sheet night. My friend Denise reminded me not too long ago that I have had a thing for bedding since I was a little girl. When I first began to babysit, I made 50 cents an hour. Denise and I had quite a little business going there in Navy housing in Charleston, S.C. I saved my quarters until I could buy a $28 dollar quilt from the Sears catalog. I still remember that quilt. It was the beginning of a lifelong romance with linens. I love a well-made bed. There's something about the feel of cool cottons in the summer and warm flannels in the winter. There's something about the way a change of sheets can change a sickbed into a bed of recovery. And oh, the way a quilt can lend personality to a room! I do love beds. I love towels, too. Big, fluffy, super-absorbent towels that wrap the delicious dimples of damp babies after baths. Linens are truly lovely.
    Laundry hampers full of dirty clothes? Not so much. The reality is that I spend far more time in my life tending to the latter than the former.  Sheets get washed once a week. Towels, twice a week. The rest of the laundry is a never-ending hymn sung from that narrow room off the kitchen. Maryan asked about laundry and I'll share a bit here, but really, I know that my laundry system won't be her laundry system. Laundry is one of those tasks every woman must think through for herself. The biggest key, however, is simple and universal (and much like refrigerator cleaning): just do it.

Laundry is a big deal. This is evidenced by the fact the Cheryl Mendelson devotes 200 pages to the topic in Home Comforts--far more than any of us really need to know. What we must know first is that care of clothing and linens must be woven into the day. Let's begin with the end. A dirty boy at the end of a day of play wearing mud-stained clothes is ready to disrobe and take a bath. Where will he put his clothes? In my husband's childhood home, he'd drop them on the floor just outside the bath and they'd magically appear in a drawer, clean and folded before he awakened the next morning. I still can't quite figure out that magic. In our house, it makes sense to have a hampers in the bathrooms. There is one for lights, for darks, for towels, and for Daddy. I like to keep Mike's clothing separate from the mix because he's frequently packing and unpacking and it just works better not to have his clothes tangled up with everyone else's.

Everyone but Karoline knows how to sort into the right hampers. I know there are folks who can't be bothered by sorting. But I likes my whites to look white, my pinks to be pink on purpose, and my colors to stay colorful. By setting up the hampers this way, we bring a little order to the laundry before the process is really begun.

When I launder is very much affected by the reality that our hot water heater is too small for the needs of our family. So, I have to wash at times when no one will need a bath or shower and no dishes will need to be washed. But I can't fold at those times because I'm either busy with the school day or I'm out of the house. [See I told you my system makes sense for me, but is unlikely to be used as is by someone else.]  I wash and dry when water is available. I fold without fail every single morning, before everyone is awake and often again in the evening. I need to wash, dry , and put away at least two loads of laundry a day to stay afloat, sometimes three. This includes cloth diapers, linens and a never-ending number of sports uniforms. Rebecca suggested to me that it would be a good idea to have all the sports uniforms in their own box in the laundry room. I'd wash them, dry them, and return them there. They'd never get into circulation with the rest of the clothes. This idea appeals to me and I'm working on a way to implement it. In a smaller family, it is inefficient to do laundry every day. I do laundry every day because I have the full loads to make it efficient. If you don't have full loads, it's more efficient to wait until you do.

It is possible to do small amounts of laundry several times a week or every day. This system actually tends to work best in large, highly organized households, particularly those in which someone stays home to keep house. But it tends to be adopted, as a kind of default system, in more disorganized households where no one stays home. Frequent laundering geared to need of the day makes it hard to get properly sorted and balanced loads. Besides, this method never gives one a sense of repose, freedom from an accomplished chore. (Home Comforts)

If you live in a large family, you might feel as if this job is never finished. But if you have a system for it, you can reach the end of the day knowing that you have fulfilled the duties necessary to the day. Until the day everyone goes naked all day, this is as close as you're going to come to finishing the laundry. If you are facing Mount Never-rest and it looms formidably in front of you, begin with the jeans. Pull them all out of piles and wash them all at once. These are big and bulky and will give you a jumpstart. Then move to towels-- again they take up a lot of space in the hamper but they are so easy to wash, dry and put away!

When I fold, I take out of circulation anything I think is past its usefulness or state of good repair. I keep a giveaway bag in the laundry room for this purpose. I match socks as I can and toss the inevitable unmatched socks into the sock basket for matching later. My husband is great about pairing his socks and turning them down at the top to keep them together before putting them in the watch. Most of my children are not so good at this. I put ironing into a basket of its own to be done on Thursdays. I fold everything else into baskets according to bedroom. The big kid in the bedroom is in charge of putting them away. I put away my clothes, my husband's clothes,  and the March_2008_031baby's clothes.

Before January, the only time I'd used my ironing board was when I inverted it against my bed and laid on it nine months pregnant to try to get a breech baby to turn (didn't work, by the way). This was not good for the ironing board. It was also five and a half years ago. From that time on, I ironed on occasion if necessary on my bed or wherever. My husband has a vast collection of very nice shirts. When my uncle died six years ago, Mike inherited all three of his wardrobes. My uncle had amazing style-sense and these were all wonderful clothes which fit Mike perfectly. Wonderful, very high maintenance clothes. I used to take all his shirts to the cleaners. In January, Mary Beth's dance teacher asked her to add another class. In an effort to find some discretionary income and not impact the budget, I eliminated the cleaners and added ironing to my regular routine. And I found that I pretty much like it. Ironing on a regular basis is different from the kind of ironing I used to do. Taking the time to smooth the wrinkles is really rather satisfying. Trying to iron while someone stands in front of me in his underwear, shifting from one foot to another while glancing nervously at the clock is not at all satisfying. It's really rather maddening and not a little guilt-inducing. Better to do it on a regular basis. Ironing is great thinking time. My hands are engaged but my mind is free to roam. I find myself thinking about the people who wear the clothes I iron and I often am inspired to pray for them during that time.  Margaret Peterson writes that ironing "requires attention but not thought and so leaves the heart free to meditate on whatever comes to mind, all the while hands go through the familiar steps involved in turning wrinkly things into smooth things" (Keeping Home). I have also found that when I iron on a new ironing board and I use scented ironing spray (or linen water), I get the unexpected benefit of scenting our whole room for several hours. The hot iron makes a sweet-smelling steam and I'm all about aromatherapy!

When I first broke free from my habit of taking clothes out to the cleaners, I was encouraged and somewhat emboldened by Cheryl Mendelson's assertion that "commercial laundries do not do nearly as good a job as you can at home, cause much faster wearing and fading of clothes and linens, and will rarely give the individual attention to cherished garments or expensive linens that you will" (Home Comforts). And all this time I thought "the cleaners" were so much superior to what I could do!

April_2008 Putting clothes away was a major chore before the mighty purge. We simply did not have room for the clothing and linens we had. The linen closet was so jammed full that a child would throw himself against it to get it to close and the hinge was broken from the force. No more. 42 bags later, we have no more clothes or linens than we have room to store  neatly. There are  very few sheets in the linen closet now. I have one set of summer sheets for each bed and one extra per mattress size. I recently had a chance to test whether this would work during an illness and I'm happy to report we all did just fine. In the autumn, I will add a set of flannel sheets per bed. On sheet changing day each week, I wash and dry the sheets and put them back on the bed. Towels are stored in the linen closet or hung on hooks in the bathroom. Colleen passed along a tip she'd read on the message board: put all the sheets sets inside a pillowcase. You can tell at a glance which sheets are which, the sets are all together and there are no messy edges from the fitted sheets. I truly love this tip and I loved it even more in the middle of the night when I needed to change sickbed sheets!

Laundry is critical to the smooth running of my home. I can't tell you the tears I've shed because someone was packing and I didn't know where the "whatever" was. I remember being reprimanded by a referee when my child wore the wrong color socks with his uniform. The color matters. It's no fun being a bad soccer mom. And I've noticed that as the laundry goes, so goes the rest of my house. I'm not sure whether it's the chicken or the egg, but it does bear itself out time after time. If I let the laundry slide, everything else is sliding, too. Better, instead, to do it well.

 

 

 

What I See Washing Up

Leila is hosting a Kitchen Sink Party. She writes:

Well, I'll tell you. Over the years I've noticed that many women do get the idea that they would like to stay home and take care of their family. They feel torn away when they leave home, as if a part of them gets left behind -- and that feeling is far stronger for them than the feeling they have when they leave the outside world and feel a little torn about that. I think most people understand that you can't have everything, and they make a choice.

But many of these same women do go just a teensy bit insane (and I say this because I was sort of this way myself, although I had no outside life I cared anything about at all) when they stay home.

And part of that insanity is that it is truly difficult to live somewhere that's probably far from anyone you know or are related to, have no friends who are willing to do what you are doing, and spend all your time with small children when you don't feel very well to start with. I understand all that, believe me!

Part of it, though, has to do with not understanding or not being willing to commit yourself to the little tasks that make up this life.

 

I think she's spot-on. Mothering at home, making a home is all about commiting to the little things. When I say "I love my kitchen," I mean I love all the things my kitchen means for me and for my family. I love the time we spend there cooking together. I love the quiet moments in the early morning when it is all mine and I bring it to life for the day. I love the sense of satisfaction I get when everything is buttoned up at night and I put it to sleep. It is physically in the center of my house (something I really don't love), but it's also the emotional center of our home. During the day, the kitchen is the hub.

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My kitchen sink overlooks the sunroom where we do most of our "schooling." Beyond the sunroom is a big backyard.  I use the ledge above the sink to store art supplies--crayons, paints, pencils. It is an ever-chaning landscape because those jars are constantly in motion. Someone is using something every waking hour. There are four tiny bud vases. From April until November, Karoline keeps them filled with roses from our garden. Now, we've filled them with holly and evergreen. 

I notice how badly we need to re-caulk...hmmm...

One more shot:

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And now, I'm off to wake my kitchen.

Happy Saturday! Visit Leila for a Kitchen Sink Party.

Daybook on this Beautiful Feast

Outside My Window

It is still dark, windy and blustery cold. I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, by the light of the Christmas tree. It's warm. And comfortable. I mention this because we've had no heat on this floor this season. Until yesterday, when the heat man came at last. He was a very nice man (exceedingly nice) and he made it all well again. It's lovely to be warm.

I am Listening to

the wind blow and the wreaths bang against the windows.

 

I am Wearing

flannel pajamas and Elizabeth deHority socks. Please pray for her. To be unable to knit truly deprives her of one of the last comforts she has. She will be annointed today. Would you carry her with you to Mass as well? (And I'll tell you what, in a house without heat, those socks totally rock!)

 

I am so Grateful for

Patient friends who never stop praying.

 

I'm Pondering

Still this:

"When I look into the future, I am frightened,
but why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.

It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.

And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory." ~ From the Diary of St. Faustina (H/T Ruthie)

I am Reading

The Light of the World. On my Mike's Kindle. May we pause a moment to marvel at the Kindle? I got it for him for his birthday. Amazing. When he leaves for work, children line up to beg to use it. My child who has struggled to read all his life is sure it will solve his problems. Pretty strong words. He can't quite articulate it but the e-ink is so much easier on his eyes that he says the tracking struggles all but disappear. You can be sure there is one in his future. I was particularly tickled because The Light of the World was unavailable in print at Amazon for three weeks when I wanted to order it. But I had it in three seconds on Kindle. Do I miss holding a book and turning pages? So far, surprisingly, I don't. The ease of reading is just amazing. Actually, instead of making me pine for real book feel and smell, what the Kindle is making me do is wish my computer were so easy to read. I'm much more aware of how hard my laptop is on my eyes after I've spent time reading the Kindle. PDFs on the Kindle are so much better than PDFs on the laptop.  And this research has really borne itself out: Kindle before bed, not computer glare. I got Mike this lighted book cover, because a book light is necessary at night. I'm kind of glad the booklight is necessary. I'd hate to see hiding under the covers with a good book and a flashlight fade into antiquity.

 

I am Thinking

Oh, my goodness, am I ever thinking! We still haven't resolved this potential move to California. Any minute. But dear me, have we been thinking. And praying. And prioritizing. And planning. And praying some more. And I might have become very tired and cranky in the process. I am reminded that we are clay in the Potter's hands. As we get older, our clay becomes a bit more difficult to shape and mold, I think. He has to work it a bit more forceably. It sort of hurts.

 

I am Creating

A Christmas letter to go with the darling cards Mary Beth and Michael collaborated with me to create. I keep procrastinating on the letter--can't really write it until I know if we're moving, right? And Mary Beth and I made two really pretty rosaries yesterday. Really pretty. We've all decided that one of them is the absolute prettiest yet.

No candy or cookies coming from my kitchen just yet. I'm holding off on all kitchen creations until the week before Christmas. Patrick will be home then. I don't want him to miss the making and baking because I know he loves to do it. Plus, I want my house to smell like Christmas cookies and I want my little ones to have the experience of creating beautiful baked goods, but I truly cannot handle flour without itching something fierce and Mary Beth seems to be developing the same allergy. With Patrick home to help, they can have all the fun and I can just supervise from afar.

 

On my iPod

People Look East. Perhaps my very favorite hymn of all--I love this song. I will freely admit that part of the reason I love this song is that it gives me license to clean and decorate. Make your house fair as you are able, trim the hearth and set the table. It's a homemaking song.  This version is a different, kind of bluegrass, I think. I do like it.

 

Towards a Real Education

This year, we aren't doing the Jan Brett unit or the Tomie de Paola unit or the Anne of Green Gables unit or the Christmas Around the World unit. We're doing business as usual with our math and our writing and then we're just reading books from the baskets. Of course, all of the books in the aformentioned units are in the baskets. But with the move thing ever at the forefront and with some other real life limitations, just the facts plus a sprinkling of good books is a good fit. Perhaps next week or so, we will pull an activity or two from any of those places. We'll see.

 

Towards Rhythm and Beauty

The winter rhythm is a much quieter one, thank God.  It's nice not to drive to McLean nearly every day. But I do miss my Starbucks wi-fi time and it's lack is really showing up here. I have no blogging time written into the winter rhythm. Without planning for it intentionally, it's just not happening.

Funny thing, after thoroughly investigating what driving to soccer and ballet would look like if we move to California, the traffic and commute  in the Washington DC suburbs look like an afternoon in the park. (Hmm, maybe because they often result in an afternoon in the park.)

We're having a Kind Conversation about

Advent. What a lot of good ideas! Did you know that the Pope's advent candles are red? I find this fact fascinating. So often, we look to our trusted and excellent resources for living the liturgical year in our homes (places like Catholic Culture and Domestic Church) and we think that what is shared there is the only right way to do something. Pink and purple candles--it's what done and what must be done.  If you can't find pink and purple, tie ribbons on white. I've always thought that was the only way to do it. The interesting thing to me is that these are not liturgical traditions, they are domestic traditions. Domestic traditions by their very nature reflect the culture. And they are open to intepretations of the culture over time. The Pope has red candles. Can you get more authentically Catholic than the Pope?

 

To Live the Liturgy

We are marking our hours with prayer and light. In the morning, we light the Advent spiral and read our Jesse Tree devotional, hang an ornament and say a prayer. At noon, it's Midday Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours. At dinner, time, the Advent Wreath and our candle song. At bedtime, the St. Andrew Christmas Prayer and the Immaculate conception candle and prayer. The time of each devotion is very short, but I truly love this rhythm. It works for us and I'm already trying to think of ways to hold the same rhythm after Christmas.

Recently, I saw a link to this post and a reference to the "crafty, busy advent." And I suppose it would be so if I were doing all those things during these three weeks. The reality is that I have done all those things. Over the course of 23 years of mothering chidren during Advent. Now, I have a plethora of things from which to choose and a small, but meaningful number of activities that are dear, every year traditions. It's actually a "creative, purposeful, intentional Advent." I only wish I could make the rest of the year so peaceful.

 

I am Hoping and Praying

For Michael, who finishes his college career this week. Words evade me. I'm sure they won't for long, but for now, I'm just speechless. My heart's pretty much spilling over.

For Patrick, who leaves for Brazil on Saturday for the Future Champions Tourney. Safe travels, dear one. And remember, the game is supposed to be fun. Play hard, pray harder. And have fun.

For my husband, as he makes some big decisions.

 

Around the House

Prettiest Christmas decorating job ever.

I wish though, that I had a record of the text messages Michael was sending on the day we decorated. Every time something went wrong, he'd whip out his phone. I'm sure there were things like:

We just broke the third string of lights, fresh out of the box.

I can't believe this crazy woman is sending me back to Home Depot yet again. I've been there four times today.

My mom just let fly a couple dozen cookies and string of expletives as she opened a brand new box of Peppermint Joe-Joes all over the kitchen floor.

I'm pretty sure everyone has now had a temper tantrum today. Fa-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la.

But it sure does look pretty now.

 

From the Kitchen 

Not soy. I am here to tell you it's true: just half a cup of soymilk a day can totally mess up your thyroid. So, now dairy milk is out; soy milk is out. Coconut creamer tastes like soap to me. I'm on the verge of giving up coffee because I just can't drink it black.

 

One of My Favorite Things

A day of surprises:

  • An impromptu St. Nicholas shopping date with my husband that included lunch together. Just us.
  • A birthday dinner for Granddad's 87th during which we surprised him with a face-to-face conversation with Patrick via Skype.
  • The surprise appearance of my two favorite college students who came out to celebrate with us despite it being crunch time at school.

Sarah Annie this week

This is the most Daddy's Girl child I have ever encountered. She talks about him all day long. She counts the hours until he comes home. She squeals when she hears the door open. She sings his name and he sings hers right back. I need to get that on video. Priceless.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week

Mass today. I love this feast; this date will always be dear to my heart. I want to get down to the Shrine, the way we have in the past, but I don't think I can do that and be back in time to pick up Gracie at school. So, I think we'll wait for her and then go locally late this afternoon.

A very fun party planned at Mary Beth's ballet studio on Saturday. Eighteen little girls from our homeschool dance class will be there. Mary Beth will dance and we'll have crafting and cookie decorating and face painting and tiara bejewelling. Pretty much little girl heaven. They are so excited!

Picture thoughts:

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Small Steps for Christmas

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After some local speaking engagements and a signing at downtown at the Shrine, I still have a few copies of Small Steps for Catholic Moms on hand, here at home. You can order here. I'm not so adept at promotion, so I'm going to quote from Daria Sockey's review in the current issue of Faith and Family:

If you're like me, you always make a New Year's resolution for regular spiritual activity. And if you're like me, your grand projects of daily Mass, meditation, or spiritual reading tend to peter out to "every now and then" before the end of January. This year I'm going to try a daily devotion that is more likely to last because it is: 1. short, 2. convenient, and 3. easy. Small Steps for Catholic Moms has one page for each day of the year. There's a (short) prayer in practical language that is straight from a mother's heart to the heart of God. Next comes a suggested action (of varying lengths). ...I love the way these activities flow out of the day's prayer, bringing home the lesson that there is grace to be found among the dishes, desserts, and diapers.

This book does indeed make an ideal Christmas gift. While certainly a woman can start at any time, the book itself begins on January 1st, and isn't it nice to begin at the very beginning?

I plan to ship on Friday, December 10th. Beyond that, I can take orders until December 14th. That is the day Michael gets home. He'll be glad to be home and glad to help out. But the novelty will wear off quickly, particularly if I send him to the post office the week before Christmas. So, you can order until the 14th and I promise to ship Priority Mail on the 15th. Then, the shop will close until after the first of the new year.

There are still copies of Real Learning available here, too. I noticed they are out of stock at Amazon.

And if you forget about this post, there's always the "shop" tab at the top of the page. I hope you can bless another woman in your life and cross of an item or two on your gift list with a purchase of Small Steps this Christmas!

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