Thou Shalt Not Make an Idol of Motherhood

“And yet over the years I have come to realize something else about my role as a mother. As important as my role is, and as important as my children are, they are not to be the center of my life, and my central calling is not motherhood…it could even become a form of idolatry. My calling as a mother is the same as any other Christian’s: to fulfill God’s will for our lives and glorify Him…and I am to delight in him and worship him and praise him in whatever circumstance I find myself.”

- Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

 

Ah. Herein is the big challenge. Do I make an idol of motherhood? I think, that there is that tendency. Joy's written very thoughtfully about her experience here. 

 

~ ~ ~

Oh, dear...this very thoughtful post has been interrupted for an orthodpedic emergency. I was merrily writing along and I got one of "those" phone calls. That's as far as I got. Let's recap shall we?

  • It's birthday week: 4 birthdays in 6 days.
  • Michael crashed his car.
  • Mike is in Miami (I tell you that because he will return shortly)
  • The painter arrives in an hour to begin to paint every wall, ceiling, and trim in my house.
  • The little girls have croup (read: I am not sleeping.)
  • Christian wrote a 10 page paper yesterday. (read: I edited until it was this morning.)
  • Patrick trained in the rain last night (his 18th birthday) and left the field on crutches. Team doctor is in Maryland. We're planning on it taking the whole day. (read: I'm packing my knitting.)

 

And that, my friends, is my mission today. My mission is clear and it's not here.  Feel free to converse in the combox. Don't miss yesterday's combox. There's so much wisdom there! Do go visit Joy.  I'll be back after I get Patrick back on his feet.

This post is part of 31 Days To Remind Myself of the Mission. I'd love to hear your thoughts about mission and vocation in the comment box. Find all the posts in the series here. And please, help yourself to a button if you want one for your blog. I'd love to read what you say there. 

31 days Misson

 

 

Brought to You by the Letter B

[Note: Serendipity has been updated but the "B" link is the old link, so as not to render all other links useless. new content, old link. I'm working on fixing the "A" link; so sorry for the inconvenience

 

For the "B" Alphabet Path story, see the updated post on Serendipity. Below are more ideas for B, enough to keep our family busy for at least two weeks. All these ideas are also on the "B" post at Serendipity.


Lesson Plans:

Presentation:   You can use the drawing of St. Bernadette in An Alphabet of Catholic Saints  as a visual when telling this story.  You may want to copy it to card stock and add it to your child's main lesson or sketch book.   

Language: 

Use the Letter B of  St. Bernadette as an introduction to letter formation.  Have the child trace the B with his or her finger.  Practice the Letter B by copying the model drawing.  Older children can draw the picture of Bernadette as well. Use the short poem in An Alphabet of Catholic Saints as copywork and place it with the picture in your child's saints notebook.

Use the Song as copywork for the week. And learn the song from the CD.

 

Read the story "A Brave Sentinel" to your child and use it for reading practice.  (Download a_brave_sentinel.pdf ) of the story and add it to your personal Alphabet Path Storybook

Nature Study:

(Don't try to do it all--these are options for science and nature study)

  • After the story has been told, you can research the botanical information and plant idenification and record them in a sketchbook or main lesson book.  Or perhaps you would prefer flower storybook paper for letter writing practice and copywork.  (An older child can do this independently, but a younger child can give an oral narration which you write or keyboard for him or her.)
  • With your older child, you might choose to work through Apologia's Discovering Creation with Botany. Read a section and then ask your child to narrate the information in his main lesson book.  Always encourage your child to illustrate his narrations.  Work on the experiments that you feel would be most beneficial for your child.  Take a picture of the finished project and add it to his main lesson book. The pace at which you move through this book is not as important as the child having an opportunity to really understand the material.  Go at your child's pace. I highly recommend the notebooks to go with the botany book, for both older and younger children.
  • We've had great success encouraging older children to take their flower narrations well beyond what is provided at the Flower Fairy site. These children are able to truly appreciate the vast varieties of flowers and to see God's creativity when they consider the lilies of the field.
  • For some children, a living books/picture book approach seems to resonate and be more meaningful than any other approach. Consider choosing meaty picture books to teach the same concepts. If you choose to pursue this course of study, here is a science-themed picture book study for this letter:

 

Storybook Science: B is for Birds

Art:

Using the illustration in The Flower Fairy Alphabet Book, ask the child to sketch the The Bugle Fairy in the main lesson book.  A younger child can color the The Bugle Fairy in the Flower Fairy Alphabet Coloring Book . Perhaps on another day the child could model the fairy or flower with modeling beeswax.  (Sources of excellent quality modeling beeswax can be found on the right sidebar.)

Sculls

For this week's picture study, Museum ABC focuses on BOAT on the B page. 
It's interesting to look carefully at just one segment of the painting in the book. The children can discuss what they think the rest of the painting might look like before you show them the print. The full image of Thomas Eakins' The Champion Single Sculls is here .

Really look at the picture.  Soak in the details.  Ask your child to narrate with a prompt such as, "Pretend that I am going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for the first time and want to find this painting.  What details could you give me so that I could more easily find it?"  Keyboard the narration and ask your child to sketch the work of art.  A younger child can copy the painting while an older child can narrate from memory and discover how much detail he remembers by attempting to sketch it from memory. Over the course of this unit, consider collecting the narrations and sketches in a single album and create your own family art history book. 

(The goal of Picture Study is to train the eye toward the beautiful. Biographical information about the artist is secondary. Set the work of art as your family computer's wallpaper or screen saver or print the painting on card stock and display it on the refrigerator.  After spending time with a picture and really taking the time to look at it, your child will make a connection.  There is no need to explain a great deal, especially to a young child.  Allow the child to make his own connection with the art. )

St brendan


Faith:  

An Alphabet of Catholic Saints: St. Bernadette. Learn the rhyme this week. 

An Alphabet of Mary: This lovely book is a new addition this year. We're so excited to create a Mary notebook, with the children making a page for every letter, learning titles of Our Lady and how to love her more as we go. 

Read about St. Brendan in Letters from Heaven Letters from Heaven offers a scripture verse at the bottom of the page.  Look it up with the children and commit it to memory. (Letters from Heaven introduces saints from the Eastern Orthodox tradition. St. Brendan is a saint in common.)You can download the watercolor of St. Brendan the Navigator here (Download b_is_for_brendan.pdf ) and use it as a visual when telling this story.  You may want to print it on cardstock and add it to the child's main lesson or sketch book. Read the story of St. Brendan in Letters from Heaven.  Older children can research St. Brendan and narrate his life by making a page on the saint in their main lesson book. Jean Fritz has authored a children's book on this saint as well. 

Each week we will be making a Wee Felt Saint or two.  Or perhaps you'd prefer to paint saints as Jessica did.

E is for Eucharist: This book is very meaty. Each page is detailed and worth considerable discussion time. B is for baptism. 

There is much opportunity for narration and notebooking for all ages in reading lists of the Faith section. Read the selections aloud to all ages of children. Assign chapter book biographies to older children. Draw pictures and record narrations of the lives of each saint. Then, when the feast of that saint is celebrated in the life of the Church, revisit an old friend and have a a little party at tea time. These are stories to read and read again.

Read Faith Stories

Brigid's Cloak

St. Brendan and the Voyage Before Columbus

Bernadette: Our Lady's Little Servant

Saint Bosco and Dominic Savio

I highly recommend this DVD: St. John Bosco: Mission to love.

Read about these saints in the Loyola Kids Book of Saints:
St. Boniface
St. Bernadette
St. Bernard
St. John Bosco (I know his first name is a "J"--Get to know him now or study him later--but be sure to get to know him him:-)

Read about these heroes in the Loyola Kids Book of Heroes:
Sr. Blandina
St Barnabas

 

 

Ideas for "B Week:"

Meet the Author: B is for Jan Brett

Suggested Books for Read-Alouds and Narrations (These are to be narrated both verbally and artistically.  For the younger children it is often fun to keyboard an oral narration for them and then ask the child to illustrate the printed page.)


Childhood Favorites

The Tale of Benjamin Bunny
Peter in Blueberry Land
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
Bedtime for Frances
The Runaway Bunny
Billy and Blaze
Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear?
Bear Snores On
Blueberries for Sal
B is for Bookworm
The Legend of the Teddy Bear
The Legend of the Sleeping Bear


Fairy Tales, Tall Tales and Hero Tales:

In The Children’s Book of America, read:
Paul Bunyan

The Children's Book of Virtues, read: Boy Wanted and Little Boy Blue

Poetry Memorization: Read "How Doth the Little Busy Bee" by Isaac Watts in Favorite Poems Old and New. Recite daily and make notebook page.

Writing Instruction:

Young children are encouraged always to narrate aloud the stories which have been read to them. Occasionally, keyboard those narrations as the child tells it and allow him or her to illustrate the printed narration.

For more structured writing lessons for children who are in the 3rd-5th grades,  IEW Fables, Myths, and Fairytales Writing Lessons dovetail nicely with the Alphabet Path theme.


 Serendipi-Tea Time Recipes
Blueberry-Blackberry pie with Bumblebees (recipe forthcoming) and  Blueberry Smoothies

Fun for the Little Ones

Jessica in 2009

Kim's Friday Funschool B

Dawn's Kinderweek: Bugs and the Letter "B"

On Mission and Mentors and Miles to Go Before I Sleep

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    "One woman, an older missionary, even advised, "Don't let your children conrol  your life! You got lots of gifts and messages and a ministry to share with the women of the world! It would be a waste of your time and experience to focus too much on your children and lose your ministry! Don't have more children. It will take up too much time."
    "Confusion and questions began to flood my soul. What is right? I love teaching women's groups! I don't want to lose what I've spent so many years developing! And hasn't God called me to this work? Don't I have a stewardship--an obligation to continue in my ministry in order to help others? But I have waited so long to have a child. Shouldn't this child have first priority in my life?" Sally Clarkson in The Mission of Motherhood
    I am one chapter into the book and I'm tempted to skip to the end and see how it all turns out. This is, of course, the tension I've revisited my entire adult life. From the first time I threw up in the classroom bathroom (confusing the heck out of the first graders outside the door when I insisted I wasn't sick), to leaving the "perfect" work-from-home job I loved, to making decisions nearly every day not to speak somewhere or write something or even to read too much. 
    Here's where I confess that I spent an hour on the phone with Sally herself yesterday and I know with all certainty that these questions are never answered once and for all. There is no skipping to the end of the book and wrapping the answers up in a neat bow. They are answered again and again, in every new season, with every new opportunity. 
I awoke yesterday to the news that Patrick will most likely begin his studies at the University of Virginia in January. I admit I wish he were going in August instead. I admit that I wanted to cry. OK, I admit that I did cry.
    Then, I spent most of the day with my friend Cari. I've known Cari since two days after I got married. She lived a few doors down and she taught me how to plan menus and how to make a pie crust and how to cut little boys' hair and yes, she even tried to teach me how to sew. Years later, those early mentoring sessions "stick" in ways that continue to bless me. She came over to help me choose fabric for drapes all over my house. We've lived here eleven years. I'm finally going to have curtains. I feel like a big girl.
    Cari and I caught up. We talked about our big kids, the ones who were little together. All three of hers are grown and married. And what we recognized, as we traded stories and prayer concerns, is that you never stop being a mom. The job isn't finished. Indeed, I feel like it's a well kept secret that motherhood actually can be more emotionally challenging and more time consuming when your children aren't really children any more. (There, I've probably broken some unspoken rule and told a lot of younger moms that potty training isn't as hard as it gets.)
    Later in the afternoon, I had the chance to lock myself in my room and talk with Sally. (Little did I know that Cari was measuring my windows and cleaning my kitchen while I was on the phone--she's good like that.) My conversation with Sally only affirmed what I was feeling. The mission to be a mother isn't a short-term gig. This mission is a vocation. It's our primary path to heaven. God isn't finished with us when our children are old enough to drive.
    Speaking of driving, my oldest wrecked his car last night. 
    Big kids. Big things. See?
    After driving to soccer, I called one more friend. A new friend, but one who, like me, has big kids and little kids. I ran this whole theory by her. We're not finished. We all know parents who think their jobs are finished when a child reaches 18 or so. I know parents who say that those big kids have no right to large amounts of their time. But my experience doesn't bear that out. Just as I was grateful to have a mentor at 21 (when Cari spent lots of time sharing life and faith over sewing machines and rolling pins), my children are thinking big thoughts, praying big prayers and I am grateful they want to talk about them with me.

This post is part of 31 Days To Remind Myself of the Mission. I'd love to hear your thoughts about mission and vocation in the comment box. Find all the posts in the series here. And please, help yourself to a button if you want one for your blog. I'd love to read what you say there. 

31 days Misson

 

 

31 Days to Remind Myself of the Mission

 

31 days Misson

"Increasingly, I find that women are unsure about what it means to be a good mother. They are confused by a culture that send them drastically mixed messages about the importance of a mother's influence and whet her priorities should be. As a result, so many mothers I meet are baffled and frustrated. They don't know how to reconcile these conflicting messages with the calling of God on their hearts and lives.

What's the cure for this confusion? I believe it lies with a rediscovery of the traditional mission of motherhood, a rediscovery of what God had in mind when he designed families. And the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and His purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It's up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers' hands as instruments of his blessings."

~Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

I've been deeply pondering mission lately. I look around (click around) and there are so many good ideas, so many ways to go, so many rabbit trails enticing me to hop along down a different path. I am impassioned by the needs in my community and the needs in worlds far away from my home. I want to travel, to serve, to do big things to make a difference for God.

And then there is my written mission. Long have words been my instruments. What is God saying? What does He want me to tell? How best to convey the message?The internet has made those questions dizzying. There is so much out there and to publish now is to have a firm grasp on all of it. No one wants a writer without a social network platform. No more curling up on the porch in your jeans with a Bible and pecking out a few words. Now, authors must build dynasties. It's impossible to scroll through my Twitter feed without countless people telling me what new "must do" is on the social network scene. Today, it was "Why Bloggers Must Adapt or Die." Every day, it's something. And it's never something that gives me more time and attention for my children. Honestly, it makes me wonder if it wouldn't really be wiser just to let the blogger in me die.

It used to be that writing about marriage and motherhood just grew out living marriage and motherhood, praying about marriage and motherhood, and some very intentional (limited) reading about marriage and motherhood. Now, it's gotten really complicated to be a mom.

I am bombarded (are you, too?). Pinterest and a million good ideas a day, but no time or energy left to bring them all to life. Facebook and dozens of connections and thoughts and inspirations (and arguments) but no one with a kitchen table where we can just sit and have tea. And Twitter. Relationships built on sand 140 characters at a time.

It's so easy to be distracted from the mission.

So, what to do when I think that really it might be better not to spend so much time investing online? Why, sign up to write something on a topic every single day for the next 31 days, of course! I am nothing if not a contradiction. 

My idea is that I must wrestle this one to the ground. I'm going to take one solid biblically based book, written by a woman who has walked this path before me and whose children have grown into Godly young people and I am going to be still long enough to steep in the wisdom. I'm not going to flit from one shiny idea to an other. I'm not going to blog bounce. I'm not going to tweet or update statuses. I'm going to spend 31 days reading, praying, and reminding myself of vocation.

vocation

A call from God to a distinctive state of life, in which the person can reach holiness. The Second Vatican Council made it plain that there is a "Universal call [vocatio] to holiness in the Church" (Lumen Gentium, 39). (Etym. Latin vocatio, a calling, summoning; from vocare, to call.)

Here's the thing: I am never certain what God is calling me to do outside my home. I wonder about being a missionary abroad. I wonder about apostolates in my community. I look at what other women are doing for God online and I'm blown away by their energy, efficiency, and productivity and I wonder if I'm not squandering something at the computer.

But I have always been certain  that God calls me to serve Him in my home, with my family. I am certain that He calls me to holiness here. 

So, 31 days to remind myself of the mission. He's calling my heart home. Still. 

Fair warning: I have no idea what this is going to look like. I'm going to read and to pray, to journal here. I'm going to be committed to home and to family and to listening to my Creator. The rest? We shall see. My blog is not my "brand." It's my scrapbook of thoughts and photographs.

Are you thinking about the mission of motherhood, too? I'm going to join The Nester for 31 Days. I'm going to host a 31 day "retreat"here  to remind myself (and anyone who wants to come along) of the mission of motherhood and matrimony. If you want to do your own 31 Days on anything you choose, head here and joinIf you want to retreat from the noise of the 'net for a month and focus your own sweet home and family, grab a “Remind Myself of the Mission” button and curl up with a candle, your Bible, and this good book! Let me know your thoughts below. We can help each other hear His mission. You can add a Remind Myself button by cutting and pasting the code below.

31 days Misson

 

 

Day 2 On MIssion and Mentors and Miles to Go Before I Sleep

Day 3 Interrupted

Day 4 The One Where Titus 2 Catches Me and Makes Me Look it in the Face

Day 5 I'm subduing; that's what I'm doing

Day 6 I Live for This

Day 7 "it is right to begin with the obligations of home"

Day 8 God's Bountiful Blessing

Day 9 Homecoming

Day 10 The Undivided Heart

Day 11 The Undivided Heart Take 2

Day 12 A Servant Mother

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

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The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

Gospel 

Mark 9:38-43, 45, 47-48

At that time, John said to Jesus,
"Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name,
and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow us."
Jesus replied, "Do not prevent him.
There is no one who performs a mighty deed in my name
who can at the same time speak ill of me.
For whoever is not against us is for us.
Anyone who gives you a cup of water to drink
because you belong to Christ, 
amen, I say to you, will surely not lose his reward.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,
it would be better for him if a great millstone
were put around his neck
and he were thrown into the sea.
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
It is better for you to enter into life maimed
than with two hands to go into Gehenna,
into the unquenchable fire.
And if your foot causes you to sin, cut if off.
It is better for you to enter into life crippled
than with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna.
And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.
Better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye
than with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna,
where 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'"

Think
"We should go even beyond doing what is required in order to avoid scandal."
~St. Basil the Great
"But I'm here among you to prevent something far worse for you. While those who give scandal are guilty of the spiritual equivalent of murder, those who take scandal — who allow scandals to destroy their faith — are guilty of spiritual suicide."
  ~St. Francis de Sales
Pray
Dear Lord, There is scandal in the world--everywhere I look. There is sin in our homes, in our churches, in our social networks. Sin abounds, even among the people of God. Strengthen my faith today, Lord. Let me see that You are present, even when we are not perfect. Prevent me from committing spiritual suicide, from allowing my faults and the imperfections of the people of God to distract me from the perfection of your Son. God, please grant me grace, the grace not to get in the way of the abundant mercy You want to shower on me.
Act
Examine your conscience in light of the quotes above. Do you give scandal? Even little scandals: "harmless" gossip, judgments that are calumnous, a missed opportunity to share Christ with genuine encouragement? Takes those millstones from your neck. Apologize sincerely, if necessary. 
Find someone who is hurting, who is doubting, because of the scandalous behavior of others. Be kind and gentle towards her. Do a little suicide prevention.