Karoline's Day(s)

I think birthdays are a big deal. It's nice to set aside a time to give thanks for and celebrate a life and if we can do that well once a year, then a child has a nice patchwork of lovely memories with which to wrap herself when she leaves home. It gets a little tricky, though, when a family has four children born within the space of a single week. The child at the end of Birthday Week suffers a bit from a fatigued mama and a sugar meltdown. This year was particularly challenging because we threw in a road trip for UVa soccer and a date night for our high school reunion.

Karoline turned seven on Friday. We did some creative tweaking of traditions to be sure that she had exactly the day she wanted--even if it took several days to make it happen.

The day began with breakfast in bed and many sleepy siblings singing Happy Birthday. She insisted on wearing her new birthday shirt (even though the shirt is flannel and it was ninety degrees). Before noon, Karoline and Mary Beth made cupcakes. And we ate them before noon, too, because we needed to hit the road. For every birthday, our family's tradition is to pray over the birthday girl and to give thanks for something specific we love about her. We sang happy Birthday, said our "what I love" prayers and watched Karoline blow out candles before our pre-lunch cupcake feast. Then, we piled everyone in the car to to head into the Blue Ridge. Since it was her birthday, Karoline got to pick drive-thru the meal.(Chick-fil-a. Please Cchik-fil-a. Please, please, please Chick-fil-a.) She chose Taco Bell. Awesome. Taco Bell in the car--my favorite. We drove first to Harrisonburg to pick up Christian. Christian is Karoline's godfather so she was delighted he'd be with her that day; her delight doubled when she found that he came bearing gifts.

From Harrisonburg we went to Charlottesville, to the home where my father and stepmother live. There, we ate dinner, gathered more presents, and sang Happy Birthday again, over Texas sheet cake this time. That was the third birthday serenade of the day, but who's counting? Back in the car to Paddy's game. She managed to tell several dozen more people it was her birthday and to stay awake all the way home, thereby not missing a single second of the birthday night and falling asleep well after midnight.

On Saturday, after Stephen's soccer and before we left for the reunion, Mike suggested Red Robin for lunch. Why not? They sing a different rendition of "Happy Birthday." She'll take it. 

When Katie had her whole-day-with-mama shopping day for her birthday, Karoline said she wanted that, too. I promised we'd do it the Monday following her birthday since we'd be traveling on her birthday. Monday came and there were tornado watches and warnings, so she opted to wait another day. However, she remembered she'd never gotten to pick a birthday dinner, so we did manage to have chili in her honor that night.

Tuesday came, and with it an opportunity to spend birthday money. After a quick hot chocolate treat, we stopped first at Target and were both disappointed by the proliferation of cheesy bling on little girls' clothes. So, we headed to the mall. Ordinarily, I'm a twice-a-year mall shopper and then only when I have a specific purpose. This was to be the second time in a week!

Lo and behold, there was a Birthday Miracle. Everything at Gymboree was $16.99 or less. That means if a pair of boots had a $52 price tag, they were $16.99. Same with winter coats. Dressy dresses? All under $17. I felt like I'd been dropped in a dream. I have felt that often in the past seven years. It's the Karoline's Charmed Star dream.

After a very succesful shopping spree (where we spent Sarah's birthday moeny for her, too), we went to Whole Foods for lunch and groceries. She twirled in the parking lot. She twirled in the aisles. She twirled between the vegan curry and the sushi. And she said--loudly enough for lots of lunch hour business people to hear--"This is the Best Day Ever!" They don't know that Karoline has a "Best Day Ever" about twice a month. She had the whole place smiling.

Despite my best intentions, there aren't many pictures to document her extended birthday celebration. I seemed to forget the camera at every turn. I'm told the ones I have are blurry (eye doctor again today, folks--a little St. Lucy prayer?). We took lots of snapshots in our minds though and the memories will be lovely patches in her birthday quilt.

Gathering My Thoughts

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I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

Nick and I were later than we’d hoped to be to goalkeeper training Monday night. We made a decision to pull over and capture the sunset. He’s been so desperately wanting to do this that I took iPhone pics and put the big camera around his neck. We’re both very pleased.

I’ve been consciously focusing on home these days, trying to hear God’s call here and to appreciate the beauty in both this time and this place. All the pictures this week were taken at places very much a part of my daily round

::listening to 

ringing in my head. Mike and I went to our high school reunion Saturday night. We got back to the hotel around 1:00. When I found myself shivering and nauseous around 2:00, I thought maybe that’s what happens when I go over my one-glass-of-wine limit (I had two glasses in the space of seven hours, but you never know). I don’t know why I didn’t remember at the time that my girls have recently had what Karoline called “the dizzy fever.” Dizzy fever indeed. Thanks for sharing with Mama. I’m still shivering and sweating and my head’s ringing.

::clothing myself in 

Yoga pants, sweatshirt, and hand knit cashmere socks sent to me by Elizabeth DeHority. The rain and the wind brought cooler temperatures to the evening. Nothing like welcoming autumn weather with a touch of cashmere.

::thinking and thinking

About this:

Unfortunately, experiences of moral failure, group meltdowns, personal pettiness, and partison harshness in congregations and ommunities make us wonder if our efforts in building community are worth the trouble. We often invest great hope in our Christian communities, and when there are serious ruptures, it feels as if part of the kingdom has been trampled. How is it that people who want closer relationships and deeper experiences of shared life sometimes find themselves in terribly difficult situations--sorting out betrayals, broken commitments, and creeping cynicism?

Growing into the likeness of Christ and into the church as it's supposed to be cannot be separated from the messiness and disappointments that are part of human relationships. We can protect ourselves from such difficulties only by cutting ourselves off from our relationships, and that is rarely a satisfactory option. Nevertheless, we can build and maintain congregations--just like we do with marriages, families, monastic communities, and businesses--in better or worse ways. Good communities and lifegiving congregations emerge at the intersection of divine grace and steady human effort.

~from Living into Community.

I have a lot of regrets about community in the last decade. Most about an online community where I invested far too much time and assumed far too much about friendship. Sadly, there has been a fair share of trial and scandal in our local church community, too. In both cases, the scars, particularly where some of my kids are concerned are deep and still painful to the touch. And yet. And yet, try as I might to deny it, I know He created us for community.

Just where? And how?

::pondering prayerfully

“How is it God, that you have given me this hectic busy life when I have so little time to enjoy your presence? Throughout the day, people are waiting to speak with me, and even at meals, I have to continue talking to people about their needs and problems. During sleep itself I am still thinking and dreaming about the multitude of concerns that surround me. I do all this not for my own sake, but for yours. I only hope that for you it is truly a sacrifice of love. I know that you are constantly beside me, yet I am usually so  busy that I ignore you. If you want me to remain so busy, please force me to think about and love you even in the midst of such hectic activity. If you do not want me so busy, please release me from it, showing other how they can take over my responsibilities.” St. Teresa of Avila

::carefully cultivating rhythm

At the beginning of a season, rhythm takes careful thought and quite a bit of discipline. Then, it sort of dissolves into a natural, easy flow. We have finally reached the flowing stage. Alleluia! Amen.

::creating by hand

I bound off on the body of a baby sweater last night. On to the sleeves! And I cut a top for Sarah today. I hope to feel well enough tomorrow to sew early in the morning.

::learning lessons in

Food again. I slacked off on the “no gluten-no dairy-no sugar” resolve. It’s always really hard during birthday week. I’m seven pounds heavier and my joints are stiff and painful. So, if I needed to learn whether food makes a difference, I just did.

::encouraging learning 

in geography. My four-year-old can look at the shape of a state and the outline of the country (with no states outlined) and put her finger on the spot where that state belongs. She can do it for all 50 states consecutively without missing one. I did nothing. Stack the States app is all kinds of amazing.

::begging prayers

for all the intentions of our prayer community.

::keeping house

I think dipping leaves in beeswax and bringing autumn to the mantel are in order this week.

::crafting in the kitchen 

Is anybody else putting pumpkin in everything? I can’t seem to help myself...

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::loving the moments

when we gather with friends and family on the sidelines of a soccer match. On Friday night, we had dinner with my father and stepmother. We went to watch Patrick play. There, we met my friend Sharon and her husband. Sharon went to high school with us and she was a dear friend in my early mothering days. Sitting next to her, sharing mom hearts, it was just like old times. Even better.

::giving thanks 

for our high school reunion, old friends, and warm conversations.

living the liturgy

I’ve moved my morning Liturgy of the Hours time from the closet with my bike to the sewing room. I know I do this at the risk of not being able to squeeze the exercise in at midday, where I now have it penciled. But right now, I need to make a commitment to sewing time and sewing has naturally become a kind of prayer. So let’s see how it works there.

::planning for the week ahead

Colleen arrives tomorrow. After a whirlwind trip all over the country meeting interesting and influential people, she’s going to spend a few days resting and recovering here. I have no one influential lined up for her and nothing especially interesting. Our days will be filled with autumn walks, homemade soup, crusty bread, and the Jane Austen movie marathon Karoline has planned.

The weekend will take the boys and me to Princeton, NJ for a soccer tournament.

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Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every week, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.} 

Gospel

Luke 17:5-10

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith." 
The Lord replied,
"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,
you would say to this mulberry tree,
'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

"Who among you would say to your servant
who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field,
'Come here immediately and take your place at table'? 
Would he not rather say to him,
'Prepare something for me to eat.
Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink.
You may eat and drink when I am finished'? 
Is he grateful to that servant because he did what was commanded? 
So should it be with you.
When you have done all you have been commanded,
say, 'We are unprofitable servants;
we have done what we were obliged to do.'"

Think

"The prayer of the sick person is his patience and his acceptance of his sickness for the love of Jesus Christ. Make sickness itself a prayer, for there is none more powerful, save martyrdom! ~St. Francis de Sales

Pray

Lord, even when my body is healthy, my soul is weak and flowed. Help me to accept my limitations, both physical and spiritual. Remind me that, when I offer them to you, my frustrations can become a source of grace and the beginning of good health.

Act

Make a small change to day to take better care of yourself. Without worrying about "seeing result," eat your vegetables., drink water, and make time for exercise. Focus on these small steps

(from the October 6 entry in Small Steps for Catholic Moms)

needle & thREAD

Happy morning!

I think I might be addicted to the smell of steaming cotton. A part of me worries that it's actually finishes and dyes I'm inhaling and I do consider from time to time that perhaps I should only sew with organic cotton. Mostly, I push those thoughts aside. There is something about the smell of steaming cotton and the feel of flannel between my fingers that is soothing and comforting and inspiring all at once. It's Stitch Therapy and for me, it's very effective.

I spent all last week, most of this week, and much of the week before last with my heart in my throat. Every time I came up for air it seemed, someone I loved was in crisis. They were not small crises and not a one of them was within my control. I couldn't fix a thing. Instead, my role was to absorb. Fear, grief, panic, loneliness, more fear--I listened and I absorbed. Perhaps that's not my role. Perhaps I'm supposed to listen and deflect. I don't know. I just know that right now, I'm wired to absorb. And a person can only absorb so much before she is uncomfortably bloated with the pain of other people. 

Enter cotton. I can't explain it, but the creative process brings me back to a place of peace. Maybe it's the control. I can subdue the fabric. I can cut and stitch and press it into something beautiful. Or maybe it's just the peaceful relaxation that comes with inhaling the steam of fabric dyes and finishes:-). Whatever it is, keep me pointed in the direction of my sunny sewing studio, please.

I have nearly finished this top for Karoline. It could easily have been ready to wear last weekend but I deliberately didn't hem the sleeves or add the elastic to gather the shoulders. I want it to be her birthday shirt and her birthday isn't until tomorrow. If I'd finished it early, she'd have worn it early. See? There's an upside to procrastination!

I've got two books going, each very different from the other. I'm reading Living into Community in the quiet of the mornings. It's a meaty, thought-provoking book that cannot be absorbed whilst surrounded by the cacophony of life in this home:-). A quiet book that challenges me to push beyond my reluctance to enter into groups. Any groups. I'm wary of groups and yet I'm starved for community. This is a conundrum I must resolve. The author, Christine Pohl, suggests that healthy communities are sustained by four things: gratitude, promise-keeping, truthfulness, and hospitality. I'm not far into the book, but I find myself looking again and again at that list and checking it against the relatinships in my life--the ones that remain strong and enduring and the ones that have failed. Yes, those four pillars are there in the strong ones and at least one of them is consipicuously absent in the ones that have failed. Something to think upon.

The other book is a cookbook. I bought The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen years ago and then I sent it off to a friend whom I thought would get more use out of it than I would. Tonia mentioned she was reading it the other day and was kind enough to look through her copy and see if it were worth my buying again or if there were just too many wheat recipes to make it worth my while. She encouraged me to get it and I'm glad she did. Mediterranean cuisine--particularly authentic Italian food--is my touchstone. When I call to mind "home" in the sense of my family and certainly in the sense of comfort food, it tastes of tomato and basil and garlic.The essence of family has always been time in the kitchen and lots of time at the table. My cousin Ellie compellingly captures it here. This cookbook is a nice guide to embracing the best of the Mediterranean diet--the vegetables and the legumes. It's so good that I don't think anyone would miss the meat and I can easily work around the gluten. Oh, and cheese. See? I've already forgotten cheese;-). It's that good.

I welcome you to needle and thREAD. What have you been sewing lately? Or are you embroidering? Pulling a needle with thread through lovely fabric to make life more beautiful somehow? Would you share with us just a single photo and a brief description of what you're up to? Would you talk sewing and books with us? I'd love that so much. Tell me about it in the contents or leave a link to your blog. I'll be happy to come by and visit!

You can get your own needle & thREAD button here in your choice of several happy colors.

Happy Birthday, Patrick!

This is the first time I've been away from one of my children on a birthday. Michael went to college nearby and it was fairly simple to meet up to celebrate. It's a strange feeling not to see Paddy today. The day comes 'round and I can't help but remember. I have a much better memory of the day he was born than Patrick does, actually. And I probably remember his first and second birthday better, too. Oh, the second birthday! I was nine months pregnant with Mary Beth and Paddy had emergency microscopic surgery because he sliced through his hand on the computer (long story). 

He's the boy with the Guardian Angel Birthday. Sledgehammers falling on his head just glance off and leave the smallest of scars.

Even the birthday he spent away from us--his 16th, living in Florida with the U-17 National Team--we got there. It was crazy good to see him, but he was so homesick, so sad. This year, we sent cookies to Charlottesville with his dad last night and we'll see him play on Friday. He's not nearly so homesick and he sounds pretty happy. Still, here I am with my memories, missing my boy. Facebook keeps prompting us to send him coffee. 'Twould go nicely with his cookies, but I think the resident cookie-baker has already done that today. 

No, I think there's really nothing more to send than prayers heavenward--for God's protection and for His blessing. And prayers of thanksgiving for the gift that is Patrick.