Consider the birds of the air...

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Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are not you more important than they?

Matthew 6: 26

Good Morning! Is today feeling all Mondayish? The to-do list is converging with don't-have list (you know, time, money, energy, patience, discipline...) and you're wondering how in the world to make sense of it all. Look at the birds. Tiny creatures out there in the great big world! Wee little brains and delicate, hollow bones, yet there they are on a bright 17-degree morning all dancing in concert with one another. They're full of energy and well organized and seemingly ready to take on the day. It's all about their choreographer.

None of it under their own power or ability.

He does it. The Lord is the wind beneath their wings and they are utterly dependent upon His good providence. 

Are you not more important than they?

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

Gospel

 John 1:29-34

John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said,
“Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.
He is the one of whom I said,
‘A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me
because he existed before me.’
I did not know him,
but the reason why I came baptizing with water
was that he might be made known to Israel.”
John testified further, saying,
“I saw the Spirit come down like a dove from heaven
and remain upon him.
I did not know him,
but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me,
‘On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain,
he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’
Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God.”

 

Think

 

I would say that St. John never spoke in a more admirable manner than when he was asked who he was, for he always relied on the humble negative; and when he was obliged to answer positively, he said that he was only a voice, as much as to say that he was nothing; word in truth, well worthy of a prophet and of the great among them..." ~St. Jane de Chantal

 

Pray

 

Dear Sweet Jesus,

Help me to remember that my vocation is see and testify to you. Turn my eyes away from the idols of "success"--prestige, recognition, notoriety. Remind me as often as necessary that true success is the honest testimony that Your are God and You alone have my heart. You are the author of my accomplishments. I have to hold the pen and take dictation from You--nothing more.  There is only one opinion that really matters, only one "job" for me to do, only one voice for me to hear-- Yours. Your opinion. Your unique job for me. The voice of Your approval alone. Help me know this in every fiber of my being, God. My life depends on it.

 

Act

 

Turn of the computer. Leave it off. As we settle into ordinary time, consider this:: 

 

With all vigilance guard your heart,

for in it are the sources of life.

Proverbs 4:23

So often, in our restless moments, amidst the beautiful that we mistake for the mundane, we mindlessly click to find someplace to rest our hearts. We are assualted by the many, many images and words and miss the opportunity to hear His Word. Confusion in a blur of voices, caught in the comparisions with strangers on the Internet, we cannot distinguish the nuances of His whisper to our unique souls. For this week, try something different. Instead of seeking sustenance on Pinterest, open a cookbook, chop an onion, sift  and stir with a child. Feed your family; feed your soul. Instead of scrolling endless images on Instagram, sit in silence and candlelight before an icon. Learn the lesson written there. Instead of reading status updates on Facebook, gather children onto your lap or make a dedicated, heartfelt phone call and ask, truly ask, "What is on your mind?" Listen to the answer. 

 

How can I pray for you this week?

 

 

in Pursuit of Rhythm

tea.

snuggles

quiet time

breakfast

study

letters

numbers

lunch

stretches

conversation

sew

dance

soccer

bedtime snack

bath

plan

sleep

Yesterday, inspired by Katherine's series peaceful photos and simple, but stirring words, I set out to try to capture the rhythm of our day. Maybe just a little bit, I set out to try to see if we had any rhythm in our days!

We do, sort of, though it does not feel nearly as peaceful to me as reading Katherine's does. I wonder, though, if that is because I actually lived our day and I just perused the frames of Katherine's. I wonder if she would look on my pictures and think much the same, only about me. It's one of those internet things, I suspect--one of those myriad of reasons that comparing robs us of joy.

Back to our day.

The morning is very rhythmic. I awaken first nearly every day. I begin with tea and then with quiet time. At some point, Sarah comes to join me. We've learned she absolutely must have this time. If perchance she awakens after anyone else but me, we have a meltdown until we find a way to create quiet morning snuggle time with Mommy. She is not kidding when she says she needs it. I hold her for awhile and then when she starts to stir, she turns to the Jesus Storybook Bible and I finish my own thoughts. Often, a similar scene is taking place upstairs with Mike and Karoline and every once in a blue moon, we trade pictures:-).

[Neither of the above snugle pictures are from yesterday--they're from a few days earlier. I feel compelled to tell you that in the spirit of authenticity.]

As each child awakens, they look to their own devotions. Then we begin to congregate for breakfast.

After breakfast, there are chores. I noticed I took no pictures of chores. Maybe another day...

Then, we "do school." I hate that phrase, but somehow it sticks. We begin together with a faith study and then each child disperses to his or her own plan. 

Lately, lunch has been a "Karoline and Katie Kreation." They are a bit obsessed with Honest Pretzels. We've had some excellent real life lessons in how important it is to read carefully and follow directions in order;-).

I've been experiencing a great deal of back pain this week, probably a combination of accumulated tension, a mild virus, and hormones. Stephen and Sarah have joined me to stretch out all the kinks upstairs while lunch is being "created" downstairs.

The afternoons usually settle into more "school," more chores, and a little sewing if I'm lucky. Dinner prep happens, too. I took pictures of Katie making fried rice, but I think they must be on the big camera. If we all pause while I go try to upload that, this post won't happen today. 

We scatter to dance and to soccer or to the gym, always to return home ravenous and in need of a substantial snack because dinner was early and everyone played hard.

I find it astonishing when mothers tell me that they go for days (weeks, even?) without bathing their children. Bath time is a highlight of the day here. We love baths! I hoard bath salts and oils like some women hoard chocolate bars. And my own time in the tub is a respite of which I am very find. One might even call it my one weakness;-)

After bath time, I read to the little girls in their room and then I snuggle Sarah to sleep. I usually slip out with Katie and Karoline still whispering in the dark. 

Last night, I heard them still whispering around 11:00. Karoline is usually the ringmaster of late night circuses, so we called her to our room.

"What in the world are you doing?"

"Oh, we have all our cookbooks out and we're making meal plans. Then, we will blog them on a new website. It's going to be awesome."

Indeed.

The morning found me looking into the availability of lovetocook.com

Alas, it's already taken.

C. S. Lewis and Pajama Pants

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Good morning! I've missed this space:-). I've been thinking about it a lot, but the actual keyboard time hasn't presented itself very much. The days have been full; we're working hard as a team here in my house to right the ship and get back on course after a season of considerable turbulence. I doubt our days will ever be smooth sailing, but I'm not feeling quite so seasick this week as last.

Enough with the seafaring analogy.

Sewing is slow-going. I finished Sarah's pajama pants. I made her a Size 5, which is clearly too big. I'm trying to decide whether I want to take off the waistband and cut off an inch or so and then re-attach it. I'm definitely going to re-do the cuff and cuff it up the entire width of the contrast fabric. I don't want the pants to drag. I'm toying with the idea of making the shirt in a 4. If she were a big sister, I'd make the 4 and know I could hand them down when she outgrew them. But, she's not and I'd kind of like to see her wear them forever...

I'm on a C. S. Lewis binge these days. Actually, I've been on a C. S. Lewis binge for quite some time. I bought the C. S. Lewis Bible when we renovated the house in late 2012. It matched the living room paint and looked so pretty perched there. I did read it, however; it wasn't just for show. I kept thinking of my cousin Ellie's reference to pretty Bibles perched in family living rooms of our childhood and didn't want that. However, I didn't write in it. It's out there in open space and I encourage the kids to use it whenever they want, so I didn't really want my notes and highlighting in it. At the beginning of the year, I bought another so I'd have one to highlight. I'm using these pencils to highlight and I do kind of love them. 

Mary Beth, Michael, and I have all reading through A Grief Observed. Mary Beth and I come together occasionally to think on it together. Grief is a strange thing and I've found we are approaching it very gently with one another. At the most recent funeral (yes, our funeral-going has extended into the new year), the priest quoted from Lewis' book. I think Mary Beth was surprised to hear that; Lewis wasn't Catholic after all. This observation has led to some good conversations about truth and about the man-made divisions in communities of faith. It's also led me to pull C. S. Lewis and the Catholic Church from my shelves and read it again with my current crop of teenagers.

I want to raise these children to know and love and understand the gift of the Church. I also want them to grow to be the kind of genuine Christians who meet people of all denominations in the place where Jesus is and to both share their own heart stories of His goodness and hear the stories others bring. Pearce's book is an excellent one for understanding how pride and prejudice of the denominational divide can affect the sense and sensibility of even the most brilliant and holy thinkers.

Homeschoolers have a reputation for hunkering down, for raising children in a bunker and not exposing them to either the secular world or to other religions, even other Christian religions. I think this is a mistake, especially in the high school years. Instead of avoiding anything that contradicts or challenges a family's belief system, it's important to come alongside them as they discover those things. They will discover them! If we leave that discovery to a time when they are supposedly more mature (and so, away from home), we might be surprised to learn that they have neither the wisdom nor the tools to navigate the confusion. It's far better, I think, to explore together and open a dialogue that will hopefully continue as they grow.

I'm also reading Lewis' The Problem of Pain with a friend. It's good to have a grown-up theological discussion right now. I'm in a place where I really want to dig deep and think some things through. And not just theological things. As I've pulled away from social media, I'm reading longer pieces--whole books, long articles, the slow, thoughtful pursuit of Scripture. I'm spending a lot of time with my Bible open and I'm journaling pages and pages on paper. I'm kind of obsessed with paper and pens these days. I think after years of tapping at keyboards, I've missed the feel of paper and the sense of order and satsifaction that comes with seeing my thoughts in front of me in my own handwriting. To be sure, those are the scribblings of pondering in my heart. I write them knowing that they are mine alone. Perhaps it's the assurance that I will protect them from exposure that has opened the floodgates. Or maybe it's just I really, really like using these pens;-).

What have you been sewing lately? Or are you embroidering? Pulling a needle with thread through lovely fabric to make life more beautiful somehow? Would you share with us just a single photo and a brief description of what you're up to? Would you talk sewing and books with us? I'd love that so much. Tell me about it in the comments or leave a link to your blog. I'll be happy to come by and visit!

You can get your own needle & thREAD button here in your choice of several happy colors.

Gathering my Thoughts

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I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

These have been some very cold days. That’s really okay with me. I like an excuse to stay inside and make soup. Today (Sunday as I write), though, is much, much warmer and the sun is shining after a very dark and rainy Saturday. The world does seem a little happier all the way ‘round.

::listening to 

the comings and goings of cars and boys in the parking lot at soccer. Again.

::clothing myself in 

Yoga pants, a long sleeved T-shirt and warm boots. I really do hope to actually get to the gym today.

::talking with my children about these books

Whatever Stephen is reading. Stephen loves to have conversations about books. I kind of love it, too.

::thinking and thinking

About burnout and recovery. About running oneself ragged and about self-care. About renewal and surrender. I have enough thoughts and ideas and lessons learned here to roll them all into a very practical and hopefully healing workshop. And your notes and emails tell me that might be something you’d be interested in pursuing with me in the late winter and early spring. So, I’d like to work on that. As always, “spare” time is not abundant. It’s going to take God’s provision to carve the time and space for such a project. I’d be so grateful if you’d pray for that provision.

::pondering prayerfully

“Our culture has filled our heads but emptied our hearts, stuffed our wallets but starved our wonder. It has fed our thirst for facts but not for meaning or mystery. It produces “nice” people, not heroes.” ~Peter Kreeft

::carefully cultivating rhythm

The rhythm of the last few weeks has stretched me to my limits. My house has been full to bursting. Temperaments and personalities have been colliding all over the place. There have been mountains of laundry and mountains of groceries and mountains of dishes. And all that sounds rather like complaining.

I don’t “do” complaining, so let’s just leave it there.

Monday morning will bring with it fresh lesson plans, fresh chore charts, a menu plan, and emphasis on restoring order and cleanliness with certain vigor and alacrity. I’m looking forward to relative quiet.

::creating by hand

I have some flannel pjs to finish this week. After three Boyfriend Scarves, it’s time to get back my Honey Cowl. The scarves were knit in bulky yarn and they were a quick knit, to be sure. After that, I have serious doubts this Honey Cowl will be finished while it’s still cold enough to wear it.

I did sew a very quick scarf last week. Mike and I had a date night for my birthday and managed to whip up another of Anna Maria Horner’s airy layers scarves on impulse in under an hour. It might be my favorite one yet. So perfect with jeans...

::learning lessons in

Photography! Well, not yet. But my dad and Barbara gave me Ashley Ann’s SnapShop workshop as a birthday gift. I’m so excited about this opportunity. This WILL be the year I shoot in manual mode. Promise.

::encouraging learning 

It's  up and at 'em bright and early Monday morning. No more distractions.

::begging prayers

for Shawn and for Elizabeth DeHority and for all the people who love them. Cancer is a hideous, horrible disease and watching it devour someone you love is incredibly painful.

for all the intentions of our prayer community.

For college students, beginning a new semester today.

::keeping house

Christmas is all tucked into boxes, save for the nativity set on the piano. We'll leave that until Candlemas. At least.

There are fresh flowers in my house. Birthday flowers came along just in time to take the place of Princess Tea flowers. I really do like flowers scattered here and there. (I never shared Princess Tea photos, did I? This week...)

::crafting in the kitchen 

So, I set about to do a Vegan Whole30. I’ve done this before, actually for way more than 30 days. When I faltered recently, I reset at Whole9life, to begin again. I noticed when I did so that the word “failure” was in the URL for the reset. That irritated me. Somebody coded that; did they have to use the  word “failure.?” Actually, in terms of Whole30, those times when you diverge from the prescribed plan are usually good lessons, not failures.

I Instagrammed the screenshot and the Whole30 folks chimed in and told me (very politely) that a Vegan Whole30 was an impossibility. Since I did it for probably closer to 120 days last spring and summer, I know they’re wrong, but the conversation gave me reason to rethink the nomenclature of it all.

It’s nice to call it “Whole30” because then you get instant support. It seems the whole world is doing Whole30 lately (very much unlike when I first did it in spring of 2012). What is healthiest for me, though, really isn’t Whole30. It’s kinder and gentler in its philosophy. I’m just not the Type A nutrition/exercise type, even though I definitely lean Type A in other places. Upon further consideration, the older I get, the more my children grow, the more I consciously try to let go of Type A…I'm not all that Type A anymore...

So, I decided to come up with my own hashtag--#eattonurture2014 and to invite community. The whole idea is to create an encouraging climate of self-care without divisive nutrition dichotomies. Are you eating in a way that nourishes and nurtures your body? What works for you? Tag a picture on Instagram and tell me about it. I’m interested. I really am. Later this week, I’ll share some pictures here and tell you about all the lessons “failure” taught me and how I’ve fine-tuned accordingly. I’ll also share how nice it is to have even one good friend who will puzzle out all the nutrition questions with you and support you in a journey.

::loving the moments

about 14 years ago, Major League Soccer signed a sixteen-year-old to play for DC United. Such a move was unprecedented at the time. We just didn’t do things like that in America. But they did. And this boy needed a place to finish high school. He was on his own, didn’t even have a driver’s license yet when we met him. He came to us, to learn with us. Michael was eleven at the time.

I had no experience mothering teenaged boys. We taught each other quite a bit. Eventually, he left here for the English Premier League. He traveled far and wide, fell in love, took a wife.

She’s darling and we love her.

Around Halloween, he sent me a video clip of a sonogram. And he called me “Grandma.” That baby is due just a few weeks after Michael and Kristin expect to welcome their baby. One little girl. One little boy. The plan right now is for me to be with Bobby and Sloane when she delivers. Logistics could be tricky but we’re surrendering that…

So, I’m loving these moments while Bobby and Sloane are here. They’ve left Toronto and not yet reported in New Jersey. They arrived here the day after Christmas and I’m grateful to have Sloane perched on a stool at my kitchen counter chatting all sorts of things while Bobby riles up the boys and whips the atmosphere into a frenzy, while they play endless games of FIFA on the Xbox and some of them remind others that they actually did play in the real live World Cup, and while they eat pizza and mozarella sticks at whatever time of day while watching video clips of "the greatest match ever" (noting they were in that match), while they hang little girls (Bobby's three nieces have come to play, too) upside down by their ankles and swing them until they squeal, while they make a contest out of everything imagineable and truly get their feelings hurt when they're not the winner. They are loud and rowdy and they bump up against each other. Sometimes it makes the hair rise on the back of my neck and it grates on my nerves like fingernails on chalkboard. My husband keeps reminding me that boys will be boys. These are some very big boys! Admittedly, the noise and frenzy has been bigger than I am, but it is nice to see them all together again and to see how they are a band of brothers.

(And did I mention how much I love visiting with Sloane, talking babies and mamas and all the things that go with them? I do so love that...)

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I can’t help but remember how sad I was when he left for Reading and how worried I was that he’d walk out of our lives forever. They come back. I need to remind myself of that now and then.

::giving thanks 

for the opportunity to make a fresh start. At shereadstruth.com there was this proposition for the year’s beginning:

This year, instead of resolving to finally get it right,

let’s resolve to walk with Him as He makes it right.

Instead of determining to get better,

Let’s determine to get close to Him through His word.

Instead of making a list of all that we will do on our own,

Let’s notice all that He is doing and let’s join him in it.

Yes. Let’s. And let’s be grateful that He makes all things new.

Let’s surrender.

living the liturgy

Time to order beeswax, to think about Candlemas. I going to keep it simple this year and to pour jar candles. And I think I’ll republish my thoughts on candlelight…

::planning for the week ahead

I’m just going to focus on peacefully settling us all into the new schedule.

 On this day last year: Cravings: a Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God