Thanks, Mom.

Stephen celebrated a birthday last weekend. It did not go unheralded in our house, but it did get delayed online. I am determined to guard my time from internet distractions. Even on birthdays--especially on birthdays. 

There was Pioneer Woman's French Toast Casserole in bed. And there was soccer with his buddies. There were cheesy tater tots for lunch. His biggest brother took him to dinner and a movie at the Alamo. All was good. And then, of course, there was the Super Bowl. This is our Super Baby, the boy who always celebrates around the Super Bowl. Always will. And it's just so perfect for him.

It wasn't a perfect year. Fourteen never is. Fourteen is hard work for my boys. Stephen is my fourth boy so I didn't freak out very much the way I did with the first three. I just held on tight and prayed that when the storm passed we'd both be better for having lived through it. And it did. And we are.

Stephen's a great kid. He's the most studious of the bunch of them, eager to learn and disciplined enough to thrive in a relaxed environment. He's ever the philosopher, a great lover of deep conversations about literature and theology. Yet, he still insists we call him Superman, so there's little doubt that, despite his love of logic, he's got quite the imagination. 

There is something else about Stephen: he notices. And he is grateful. No matter the storm of the day, no matter how many times we butt heads, Stephen is the child who, without fail, will turn to me as we pull up in the driveway after driving to and from practice and say, "Thank you, Mom."

Every. Single. Time.

And I am so, so grateful that he is grateful, that he notices, that he knows that this soccer mom gig is not for the faint of heart, that he appreciates the sacrifice. 

I've often wondered if his godfather whispered to him one day that "thank you"was a balm to a soccer mom's heart. Or maybe the idea was prompted by the Holy Spirit. I don't know. I just know that this boy, throughout all the tumult that was early adolescence, was always deep-down grateful. And he made it a point to say so. Some days, those words were bright spots of hope on an otherwise stormy journey. 

Every four years, my Super Bowl baby sees his birthday as a segue to two glorious weeks of Olympic fun in this house. In a family of athletes, where dad goes to work every day at ESPN and  people grow up to be sports media big shots, the Olympics are a Big Deal. Not a World Cup status big deal, but a big deal nonetheless. Nick will get all up in the stats and Stephen will make a case for staying up late. The girls will all want to be figure skaters and it will be a grand celebration.

 I'll watch the moms in the stands.

I'll have a pretty good sense of the time and energy and emotion and money invested in those few moments of competition. And I will hope that at the end of their long days, all along the way, they had a kid like Stephen, who never, ever forgot to say, "Thanks, Mom."

Here's a little Olympic Mom Mush to get the party started. 

Rooted and Grounded

Ephesians 3:140-19

Sometimes--oftentimes--when our children go out into the world, we wonder and worry and hope against hope that we've taught them enough. We think of all the lessons that went unsaid-- all the things we figured they just knew because they lived here--and we wish we had a few moments left to say them aloud, to make sure they really got it.

They say that having a child is like having a piece of your heart living apart from your body. It's true. And the more children, the more pieces. And the older they get, they further away for longer periods, that those pieces all live. 

And when that piece of your heart is broken, either by the foolishness of your precious child or because someone else has stepped upon it, then every Mama bone in your body asks, "Was it enough? What more could I have done or said or given?" 

God knew. He knew we'd ask those questions again and again. And He wraps us tightly in His reassurance and tells us clearly that children who are rooted and grounded in love, will comprehend God's boundless charity and be filled with the fulness of His grace. 

If that--if they will, eventually--have that, what more can they need? 

So we root them and we ground them in the love of Christ. They are raised in a family that has taken the name of Christ. Depsite everything that goes undone, unanswered, unswept, and unfolded, we spend each day to making sure that our children know that we love them and that God loves them, too. We give that love with our whole hearts and we trust that He can and will provide grace sufficient to overcome all our weaknesses and bring our children home to their Father.

At least that's what I tell myself a thousand times a day.

Quiet Time and Bible Questions

When I wrote about how I am called to serve my family and what I do to fuel myself, Lynn asked

I have decided to buy a new study Bible & have been looking at the Ignatius NT study Bible, but now am torn as the the C.S. Lewis Bible.

Do you have a preference ? How do you find the notes?

And the answer is BOTH and then some;-). Sorry, I think I might be a bit of a geek like that. I love the C S Lewis Bible. It's as if C.S. Lewis spent a lifetime journaling in his Bible and then gave it to me. On every page, there's insight from a truly great teacher. It's wonderful to be able to sit and read scripture and then see a bit of Lewis. And then, two things might happen. The first always, always happens: I crosscheck in other Bibles. The second, happens when time allows--I find the Lewis quote in the context of his books. This means that I have a bunch of other Bibles and a fairly extensive Lewis library, both of which are accessible online (though I much prefer the book method, as the computer can take me out of the contemplative mode very efficiently).

I use the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible as often as the C S Lewis Bible. The notes are rich and reading them is fruitful. Its only shortcoming is that it's only the New Testament. I eagerly await the release of the Old Testament. In the meantime, I keep the Ignatius Catholic Bible-RSV handy. I prefer the RSV translation and this one enables me to have both Old and New Testaments and some notes for each. I noticed that Biblia.com now has the RSV Catholic translation, so there's that online option. The other Catholic online option is the USCCB has the entire version of Bible online here. Because this is the New American Bible version used in the Lectionary, I take the Lord, Hear Our Prayer scripture quotes from here. There are some notes on reading the Bible privately here at the USCCB site that might be helpful for people who are wanting to begin this practice. God willing, I look forward to coming back into this space and sharing some Bible journalling ideas with you soon.

The notes in the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible are extensive and very enlightening. I also like to use the Catholic Bible Dictionary to dig deeper. The C S Lewis Bible doesn't have typical notes for exegesis; it has Lewis quotes that have been selected topically.

And, since we're talking about Bibles in the morning, my basket is also stocked with a Bible for my little ones. Typically, when Sarah Annie first awakens, she'll snuggle still and quiet onto my lap for some time while I finish my thoughts and prayers. Then, I'll read to her from The Jesus Storybook Bible. It's truly beautifully done! I highly recommend it.

This basket didn't fill at once. It's been gathered over time. It is the most treasured gathering of items in my life. This is where the day begins. It's food for the journey. It's consolation in times of grief and a steady hand when I wobble. This is where the soul work happens, the work that gives light and meaning and wisdom and joy to any other work I do. The basket has been gathered thoughtfully and at some sacrifice, but graces overflow from it, far exceeding what I ever imagined when I made those purchases.

A Baby Blanket and Some Pregnancy Books

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Last year, Kristin guest-posted and shared with us a quilt she was making. It's finished! She joins us again:

I started this blanket over a year ago, before we were expecting a baby. I was hoping to make a kantha quilt to throw on my couch. Now it’s the perfect play quilt, baby swaddler, mom’s-first-quilt-so-you-can-throw-up-on-it-but-please-don’t-rip-it-because-I-don’t-know-how-to-fix-it blanket. Truth be told, I had a baby blanket in mind from the first stitch.  

There are a few small puckers on the back that perhaps one day I’ll be able to fix. I’m still new to sewing and very, very impatient. Bad combo when creating heirlooms but we’ll see how this one weathers.

Lately, I’ve been reading about pregnancy, labor and delivery during every free moment. I have 3 books {one for each trimester} I’ve found to be comforting and helpful.

Bump It Up: Transform Your Pregnancy into the Ultimate Style Statement 
by Amy Tara Koch

This book was actually a gift from a close friend and coincidentally ended up being my first trimester bible, beating out all of the thoroughly researched and reviewed books I purchased or borrowed. As a primigravida who was not quite expecting that pink plus sign just yet, I was at a total loss when it came to pregnancy preparation. Koch has a savvy and chic way of celebrating pregnancy without asking mom to buy a new wardrobe or adopt a new lifestyle. She does not dwell on morning sickness. Instead, she explains how to cover up the appearance of being sick. I had a hard time in the first trimester, not only with nausea and dizziness, but with a thicker waste on my 5 ft body along with rashes and eczema that covered my face. Intentional meals were impossible to commit to and I found myself falling asleep before dinner. Low self-esteem and guilt does not mix well when you’re embarking on one of the biggest blessings of your life. This book helped me get out of the hole I buried myself in and enjoy the first semester. It also has advice for each trimester so I'm still reading through it today.

Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally
by Janet Balaskas {Intro by Michel Odent}

During the end of my second trimester, I grew a deep curiosity for labor and delivery. Suddenly, I realized that this baby has to come out somehow! As far as labor books go, Active Birth is probably my favorite. Balaskas lays out basic information and applies common sense and simple physics to childbirth. Although the book is a bit dated, so is natural childbirth.

Even if you have no interest in natural childbirth, I think it’s important to know basic anatomy of a woman with child and how to aid labor instead of work against it. I think it will make a difference to be aware of and understand what is happening physically instead of solely trying to manage my labor pains.       

Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method
by Marie F. Mongan

Hypnobirthing is the latest craze in the birthing world. What I love about this book is that Mongan breaks down the phases of labor slowly, detailed and deliberately. This is a great third trimester book because it feeds the part of my mind craving more information without being overwhelming or redundant. The tone of the book is also clear and decisive. For example, she writes “You will be relaxed… You will experience…” There’s no ambiguity or speculation.

Personally, I’m open to a changing birth plan and I don’t need a book or a doctor to convince me that I want this baby to have a safe birth. We, as expecting parents, are gradually gaining more confidence. I’m secure in one thing: Michael will be ready. He’s very quick in reactive situations... it must be a big brother thing. I, on the other hand, react passively and slowly. Hopefully we'll be a winning combination. 

Next on the sewing list is a receiving blanket! I guess we'll need a few of those?

What are you sewing and reading this week? I really do want to hear all about it!

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With the Dawn

Divine Office Morning Prayer