Lots of Reading and Just a Little Sewing

It's been so long since the last needle & thREAD that I'm not sure I can remember everything I've read since we last visited. It's been a very busy reading summer. I've listened to audiobooks for several hours a week as I walk (and run). I started off on a major philosophical/self-improvement trail and made an abrupt turn into fiction.

Actually, it was a friend who suggestion the fictional diversion. I'd been reading Anna Quindlen on midlife and John Gottman on marriage and then on to the really excellent book on habits. I ran out of Audible credit ;-), so I went and reread The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. I truly love both those books. I find them joyful and uplifting and inspiring. Gretchen Rubin resonates with me. I "get" her and I think, if she knew me, we'd be fast friends. 

But all the self-improvement was beginning to sow seeds of discontent. A friend suggested taking a break on seriousness (even happy seriousness) and just indulging in fiction. The problem was that I really haven't read fiction (except for shared fiction with my kids) since cancer. I'm not sure why. I haven't watched movies, either. I think that the inevitable plot complex, with its conflict and its pain, always hits a nerve too sharply. But still, all that self-improvement...

So, I started with Evensong. I think it was the quote on this post of Anne Bogel's that intrigued me. I bought the print version. I read the first few chapters. Then I read the end, just to assuage my anxiety. It was as if I could bear to "feel" along with the characters as long as I knew how it would all resolve. I enjoyed Evensong. Some of the characters were a bit too odd to ring true to me, but the story carried me along and fiction turned out to be a good idea.

Then, I read the print version of What Alice Forgot. I've been eyeing this one for quite sometime. The plot intrigued me. A 39-year-old woman passes out at the gym, hits her head, and forgets the the previous ten years. When she comes to, she thinks she's a happily married 29-year-old about to have her first child. Instead, she's an about-to-be-divorced mother of three. Throughout the course of the book, the young woman she was discovers the middle-aged woman she is and teaches her a lesson or two. I really loved this book. It is the kind of book that sticks with you. It was artfully crafted and well-written. It held up to all my microscopic ifs, ands, and buts. Actually, I'd really like to talk about it more. Maybe we could meet up here in a couple weeks and have a book discussion? I will warn you: despite my best efforts not to, I binge read this one. Bet you can't read just one chapter at a time.

After that, I read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It's a book on writing. And on life. I listened to this one and really loved the narrator. The book is excellent, but it's on fiction writing, something I'm quite certain I will never attempt. Still, I took away several points of self-improvement. Oh, dear. There we go again.

After Anne Lamott, I thought I'd give Annie Dillard a try. I started listening to The Writing Life. it was too ethereal. Too much work. I didn't get it. Maybe I'll try again when I don't have to concentrate quite so hard on running form while I listen. 

Most recently, after loving Liane Moriarty in What Alice Forgot, I listened to The Last Anniversary. There were parts of this story I thought were excellent. Postpartum depression (and postpartum psychosis) is explored--and very well, I think. The relationship of depression to poor attachment in childhood was one I found very real and expertly crafted.

I liked Sophie, a rich character of Moriarity's girl-next-door variety.  As in What Alice Forgot , one of the protagonists is 39 and at a crossroads of sorts--only this one is unmarried and without children, but really wants both. 

I finished this one this morning. One thing about audiobooks, it's a little harder to cheat and read the end before the rest of the story (though not impossible, certainly). I made myself read the book in order this time and I'm proud of myself for it. This self-discipline contributed to binge listening. And after all that effort, I found the ending of this book to be a little disturbing and very disappointing. I'm annoyed;-).

Sewing? Kristin was sewing herself some tops a few weeks ago. When she showed me the troubles she was having with them, I thought maybe she could benefit from the brilliantly crafted and even more brilliantly explained patterns of Liesl Gibson. So, we went through all my Oliver & S patterns and chose one I've made several times, but never in a size tiny. We found some very cute stashed Anna Maria Horner Little Folks flannel and I stayed close by while Kristin let Liesl teach her to sew. The shirt is darling and I know Kristin got pictures, but she's got a blog and I'm not going to steal her thunder. ;-)

Oh, and did you see? There is "Miss Kate" yardage at the Fat Quarter Shop. I think that this line is going to go well with Bonnie and Camille fabric I still have stashed. I think I might let my Miss Kate do a little shopping. 

Tell me what you've been reading. What about sewing? What does fiction do for you? I asked for favorite audiobook choices on Facebook and got a wonderful, wonderful list. Chime in here with your favorite books and I'll be so very happy to make us a great big list to listen to together.

Daybook

-I'm listening to 

All the different versions of songs from the Wizard of Oz. I'm choreographing the youngest group of competitors this year at our dance studio and thinking about doing a Wizard of Oz theme. We'll see.  

-I'm wearing 

A pink tank top and jean shorts. 

-This week my top to-do is

Ehhh, I should probably clean my room. The only issue with cleaning my room is every time I start, I end up getting distracted by anything and everything that I come across. "Wow, I haven't seen this shirt in forever." "Wow, I haven't seen the floor in forever." ;)

-I'm currently reading

I'm trying to read the last Divergent book but, it's so incredibly boring. I really enjoyed the first one and the second one was boring, but I got through it. This one though, I don't know...

I also recently read The Fault in Our Stars. I really liked this book but I know a lot of people were heartbroken at the end because *spoiler alert* one of the main characters dies. I tend to like a plot line that is more realistic and not so "happily ever after" all the time. My family teases that the main reason I liked Frozen was because Hans turned out to be the bad guy even after Anna fell head over heals and sang a duet about love with him. Sure, the book still pulled at some heartstrings for me but I loved that it seemed real. No one got miraculously cured from cancer, because a lot of the time that's not what happens. 

-I'm thinking about

My schedule this fall. I'm excited for every single activity and job I'm undertaking. It's going to take a lot of discipline and motivation to stay on track but I think I'm ready. While balancing academics I'm also going to be teaching at the montessori school in the neighborhood, I'm going to be a teen mentor and coordinator for youth group, and I'll be teaching dance as well as dancing myself. 

-I'm praying about

A close friend in the face of personal trial.  

-Quote I'm thinking about recently 

One of my best friends left for college last week. Her promise to the four other girls in our close friend group was to text us every day with a quote. This was the first one she sent. 

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Winnie the Pooh

-This week I learned

Just how blessed I am to be living the life I am. That sentence probably sounds so cliche but really, I couldn't be any more happy than I am right now with who I am. When you're young, you grow up with this sense of the world that is very innocent. Everyone has a happy family, with a mom and a dad who love each other, siblings who are supportive, friends who help you through life. Then when you grow up, you start to realize more and more that your perfect perception on life isn't all that accurate. I thank God every day for the opportunity to be living a life that isn't always perfect, but is pretty darn close. If you feel as lucky as I do, I ask that you pray for those who aren't living in this kind of a situation.   

-I'm thankful for

My youth group. The group of kids I've grown so close to the past 4 years has helped me through so much and taught me so much. 

-I love it when

I hit every green light on the way to drop Nick off at soccer practice. Hey, it's the little things. 

-With the rest of this week I'm going to

Friday there's a big football game to attend. Saturday a full day of soccer-ing. And Sunday--Monday I'm going with some friends to the river, soaking up the last bit of summer. 

-iPhone pictures this week

iPhone photo dump this week includes a mirror selfie with Lucy Shawn while her Mom and Dad were on a dinner date, a picture of me fixing Sarah Annie's arabesque snapped by a dance mom through the window, a picture of the girls warming up to start their solos this year, and candids from the day Sarah left for college. 

Roasted Tomato Sauce

Begin with garden-fresh, sun-ripened tomatoes of any and every variety. I usually plant some plum tomatoes for this, but by the end of the summer, I'm throwing all varieties into the pan. Clean the tomatoes and core them and put them in an 11X17 inch pan. Peel an entire BULB of garlic and scatter the cloves throughout the tomatoes. Douse with extra-virgin olive oil. Roast at 450 degrees for about a half an hour, until the whole house smells like summertime and the tomatoes are blistered. Pull the pan from the oven and sprinkle with fresh, whole basil leaves. Cover with foil and allow to cool until you can handle it comfortably. Carefully transfer everything (including the juices) to the blender. You'll have to bend in two batches. Whir it all together and pour it over hot pasta. This makes enough for 4 pounds of hearty pasta. I usually cook two pounds to feed my family. So, the other half gets poured into a gallon size zippered freezer bag and then frozen flat on the freezer shelf. In the middle of winter, thaw, heat, pour and remember the summer!

Could it be a Storybook Year?

Late last summer, as I was gathering my thoughts on curriculum and trying to plan the year, I hit a wall. Actually, I was probably already flat up against the wall, but the time of year compelled me to do what I'd always done, so I pressed on. But I didn't want to plan. And I wasn't enthused about all the things that had previously sparked so much creative energy. It wasn't exactly burnout. It was more like beaten out. I hadn't wanted to share learning ideas for over a year, but by last summer, I didn't even want to write them for myself. It just wasn't fun anymore.

I thought about just sending off for several boxes of pre-planned curriculum. And then I consulted the budget. I looked around my house at all the resources we own. I didn't order anything. Nothing. That became the plan. Use what we have and just get the job done. 

We have an abundance of picture  books. I love picture books. When I was in college, I'd forego the coffee shop in the Student Union Building and head instead to the tiny corner of the adjacent bookstore that was home to the children's books. I saved my latte pennies for a hardbound copy of The Complete Tales of Peter Rabbit. Way better. I loved the small room in the Ed School library that was lined with shelves of children's literature. When we were assigned a semester-long project to compile an index card file of children's books, I filled three boxes. Every card was color-coded and annotated and illustrated. I still have those cards. I loved that project.

For over twenty years, I have been inspired by the art and the literature of picture books. I've thrown my whole heart into creating with books, whether it was bulletin boards in a classroom or fullblown unit studies for many ages. Literature-based learning was where I invested most of my creative energy. Some people love their cameras, some their paints, others their yarn or fabric. For me, it was always those beautiful books and the endless possiblities of things we could do with them.

I recalled a conversation with an old friend. Several years ago, we wondered if everything in an elementary curriculum could probably be taught with a good picture book. This year became my year to test the theory. Sort of.

We read widely from the lists in Real Learning (and more), both as read-alouds and read alones. Sustaining attention for long stories is a cornerstone of how we learn in our home.

The Montessori maps come out for geography review a couple times a week. 

For my fifth-grader, I have a good math text, Rosetta Stone, some art history, nature notebooks, and, at his request, Swimming Creatures of the Fifth Day. All the rest? Picture books.

For my third grader, math, Rosetta Stone, nature notebooks, drawing instruction, and picture books. 

For my little ones, lots of mama time. And picture books.

I take the week's copywork from the picture books. I take the poem to memorize that week from a picture book. Every night, each of the three youngest girls chooses two picture books for me to read before going to sleep.

What unfolded is not a curriculum. It's a "freedom within limits" plan that works for us. I share it here to tell you what we've been up to, not so much as to suggest you adopt it. It's entirely real learning in the heart of our home. I thought about all the categories of books, all the subjects typical programs of studies will cover. Also, I was sure to leave some grids for me to add in books I love and just don't want them to miss.  I gridded all the different categories in a weekly planning sheet. The sheet has changed several times this year as I add and delete as necessary. I've thoughtfully included the things that are important us, the components of a Charlotte Mason curriculum that I hold dear. 

We read the books together or the children read them to themselves. Sometimes, they have books in common on their charts. Sometimes, they have their own particular books. I sit down the weekend before and plan out the week. I key the saints' picture books to the liturgical year. Usually, I'll ask if there is a book they want to read and let them choose within each discipline. Occasionally, I'll gather up the stack myself. It's important for me to gather all the books before the week begins so I don't spend hours looking under couch cushions or behind beds for the books I am certain I just saw.

Sometimes, there is a theme across disciplines. Nicky might read  A Swim Through the Sea, Man Fish: A Story of Jacques Cousteau, and mom's choice of Night of the Moonjellies. Katie might ask about Manassas Battlefield Park as we drive by it daily, back and forth to ballet. The following week, I'll write in books like Follow the Drinking Gourd, Henry's Freedom Box, Civil War Artist, Sweet Clara and the Freedom Quilt and If You Lived at the Time of the Civil War.

More often, though, this is not about unit studies, but about a wide banquet of varied topics. If a child is super-interested in something, it's simple enough to scuttle the written plan and dig deeply with more on-topic books. Two important things about scuttling the plan:  

• There must be a plan to scuttle; this isn't freewheeling and hoping that books thrown everywhere will catch someone's attention.
• If you ditch the plan, it's only to do something better. It's never to do nothing. And we need a written plan for the "something better."

Every day, the children respond in writing to at least one book. They can choose a writing project from a long list of projects or they can propose another. Not every book requires a formal response. Some books, we read, we talk about just a little, and then we close it and put it on the shelf. But every day requires some kind of writing. Every day. They might dictate a simple narration. They might peck out their own narrations. They might take off and create an elaborate screenplay. Whatever they choose, they must write something.

With the time that's left in the day, they can choose from other ways to respond to books and get as creative as they like with any book they've read that day or previously. We're busy. We're productive. We're surrounded by good language and great art. And the creative energy has returned to our educational adventures.

It's all good.

Tell me about your book: 

• Write and tell a friend about the story. 
• Make a detailed map of the setting of the book.
• Is it a circle story? Can you draw it?
• Did something really catch your attention? Want to research it further?

• If historical, add it to your Book of Centuries. (we do this with every historical book)
• Write a letter from the main character to you.
• Choose a character you’d like to have as a friend.  Write him or her a letter. 
• Plan & cook something to go with the book
• Tell why it would (or wouldn’t) make a great movie. 
• Describe an incident from it as though you were an on-the-scene TV reporter.
• Create a collage.
• Make up a rhyming poem about it
• Illustrate w/drawings or photos
• Explain its funniest (or saddest or most exciting) incident.
• Make a new book jacket for the book
• Do a puppet show.
• Read the book aloud as radio theatre and record it.
• Write 3 paragraphs in a diary as if you were your favorite character. 
• Design and draw costumes for some of the characters.
• Design quilt squares to go with the book
• Tell what your home would look like if you were one of the main characters. 
• Write a biography of one of the characters.
• Write a human interest story about one of the characters in the book.
• Write a letter to the editor about an issue in the book.
• Create magazine ad for the book.
• Create a television ad for the book
• Draw it into newspaper cartooning squares.
• Play charades w/themes from the book
• Pretend a character had made an important decision differently. Write a new ending.
• Make a list of facts you learned in the book
• Write an Amazon review.
• Plan a field trip inspired by the book
• Compare versions of the same story.
• Compare the book to the movie version
• Make peg dolls to go with the book.
• Compare it to another book the author/illustrator has written. This might be a comparison of art or of the story.
• Use its title to write your own story. 
• Write a letter to the author
• Pretend you are the author. Write a publisher, pictching your book.

 Picture books make me happy. This blog is for sharing what makes me happy. I can't promise you a book a day. There's no way I'm going to post big plans for every book. I do hope to share a little of our picture book love on a regular basis here. A quick review, a picture or two, some ideas on where the book took us--little snapshots of books we all love. I know that not all my readers are homeschoolers. I'm certain, though, that these books can enrich the lives of all the children we love.

There are No Do-Overs

The day started off well enough, if a little early. Ten or so teenaged girls had slept in tents in the backyard, a noisy gaggle that kept me wondering all night long if our neighbors were fuming. But with the coming dawn, it didn’t seem to matter so much. They were quiet at last. My husband got up for an early flight, and I laced running shoes and went out into the still-dark morning to get in 5 miles as the sun rose. Since I was ahead of schedule, five miles stretched to eight, and I arrived home just as the girls were stirring in the backyard. I was peaceful and ready to seize the summer day. 

But that's not how the day played out. 

His dark eyes met mine over his laptop. Storm clouds were brewing in those eyes; I was all too familiar with the storms.

“What’s wrong?” I chirped cheerfully, trying desperately to hold on to the morning calm.

“It’s stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. No one is listening at either school. These credits won’t transfer, and I am going to be in college forever.”

They say mothers are only as happy as their unhappiest child.

“Don’t mope. We’ll figure it out. Just don’t mope.” I cannot stand one more tense conversation about academic advising and college transferring, I thought. I’ve devoted more than a lifetime’s share of time to this transfer and this pair of schools. Enough. Just stop talking about it. And quit moping.

“Please can we cut the watermelon? Puhleeze?”

Blue eyes this time, begging cheerfully but begging just the same, my little girl interrupting my internal rant to the academic advisors of two institutions of higher learning.

“No!” I snapped, trying not to notice the shock in her eyes or the tears pooling there. “No, watermelon. For the tenth time this morning, no watermelon and no moping.”

I gathered keys and my youngest son and headed to the gym. My cellphone tucked into a locker, Nick and I went about our gym routine. I didn’t need to be there; I’d already exceeded my workout goals for the day, but I’d promised Nick we’d go, and I was trying to be kind, despite my cranky beginning. After a couple hours, I retrieved my phone and saw that I’d missed 12 text messages.

The first one I read was from my friend and neighbor, “Really bad accident out in front near your house. Silver car and a minivan. Tell me you are all OK.”

I have both a silver car and a minivan. And those kids I left at home after my snappish outburst? My heart raced. They had plans to go to the pool in the silver car by way of that intersection.

I thought about the sharp words.

Please don’t let those words hang heavy forever …

Thankfully, the next few texts were from my daughter. She told me about the accident, said they’d been delayed leaving the house because she’d sent Katie back inside to empty the dishwasher, and they arrived immediately after the crash. She was worried that the little girls had seen way too much. And then she texted again to let me know the road was still closed and to go home the back way because a helicopter had landed across the street.

A do-over, I thought. I get a do-over. I can go home and be kind and gentle. I can erase the ugliness of the morning and begin again. Better this time.

And then I can write a column about how sometimes we see how precious life is and we are lucky enough to get a do-over. That was how I thought this essay would end. But that’s not how it happened.

I returned home to find a very somber group gathered in my kitchen. Lots of kids trying to make sense of the senseless. Names had been assigned to once nameless accident victims. Four teenaged boys. People they all knew. Somebody’s son. News came quickly, the way it is wont to do in a small town. Some rumors, some facts. Some tales ahead of their time. Four boys in very serious condition. Life in the balance.

There is no do-over. Not really. Not ever. That morning was set in stone. Some lives forever changed.

My 7-year-old talked for what seemed like hours that day and the next about the sounds. “There was a crash. A really loud crash and then a boom and another boom. I think that was the van flipping over onto its roof. And then there were sirens; for probably hours there were sirens. And then the helicopter. So many noises. So many scary noises.” You can’t un-hear the noises. And you can’t un-live the moments, any moments.

The sounds. The sights. The sorrow of the people involved and the people who love them. There’s no do-over.

We get one chance to live any given moment. One chance to bless. One chance to choose the better. One chance to love. And then that moment is gone.

There is redemption. There is grace. There is a God in heaven offering hope.

But there are no do-overs. Not really. There is only a choice to make in each moment.

Will we wish we had the moment back?