A Stack of Gold for Epiphany

Not all of our books are pictured in this stack. I ordered some just this morning. The good thing about Christmas as a season? Amazon is much less busy on the january side of the season. It's not too late!

We have a long held family tradition to set the table for breakfast on on January 6th with a big stack of gold in the middle. Treasures brought from afar, riches for my babes.

Books, of course.

Every year, for Epiphany, I wrap one book per child--one carefully chosen, well considered book--and layer them one atop the other to get my golden pile. How to tell you about this year's pile without giving away any secrets?  Well, first of all, I don't think my kids remember I have a blog;-). Secondly, the Amazon box came and someone who shall remain nameless promptly opened it and looked inside anyway. She's one of two who might perchance read this post. So, I think I'll just put it up there and count on none of them to read it. 

Michael's book will wait for a visit here from California the weekend following Epiphany. Seems like a good one for a boy on the brink of big things in California. 

Kristin (who might just read this post--sorry, K) will receive The Nesting Place. I've had this book for some time, but just got around to reading it over the Christmas break. I loved it! Her philosophy of home and decorating and, really, life in general is so refreshing. I come from a place where decorating and housekeeping needed to be perfect (or very close) and this book was a breath of fresh air. The reason I love it for Kristin is the author moved A LOT and she also rented A LOT. Kristin is entering a season of both renting and moving and I think she'll enjoy the wisdom here. 

Christian's book is being sent to him at school. He went back early to work on his movie. At last count though, he'd seen the new Star Wars movie four times. He's going to appreciate every nuance in this book.

For Patrick, I'm adding to his personal C. S. Lewis library. He requested his own copy of Mere Christianity (these new editions are so pretty) early last semester and then came home from college and pulled Confessions of St. Augustine off the shelf. I think everyone should have a copy of The Great Divorce to sit next to Mere Christianity and be revisited throughout adulthood. 

Mary Beth has a whole stack of Marisa de los Santos books waiting for her. I loved these books during 2015 and I really want her to read them. Her school reading load has been so intense, that those books might linger on the nightstand a while longer. I couldn't go without giving though, so, at Anne Bogel's recommendation,  I ordered Astonish Me. 

Stephen is likely just as big a Stars Wars geek as Christian, so, for him I wrapped up this gem. 

Nicholas is a big Rick Riordan fan (and his mom is, too) . This nice, thick novel should take him--us;-)-- through winter. 

Katie has been enjoying the recent adult coloring books craze, so I got her this one to use for her quiet time while we eagerly await the release of this book. It's a journaling Bible with with over 400 beautiful line-art illustrations spread throughout the Bible. I'm so excited about the chance to color and to ponder and write inside the pages of the Bible. I know that this is a good way to get her in the habit of journaling in the margins. These books (I ordered two) can't get here soon enough! 

Karoline has three books going. That's my girl! She's listening to The Saturdays with Sarah and they are both loving it. I will admit that when they ask to have their own Saturday adventures and say, walk to the town center by themselves, I shudder a little. Life int he suburbs has changed since the Melendy four were little. Incidentally, though I've often heard that The Saturdays was not to be missed, I never read it until I heard it was a childhood favorite of Marisa de lost Santos. I might have an author crush on Marisa.  Kari is also reading both the first Harry Potter and the fourth Penderwicks  (again). I know it's just a matter of moments until they've finished The Saturdays, so I got her the next book in the Melendy Quartet. She'll be pleased, for sure. 

It dawned on me this morning that this stack used to be all picture books and now, there are just a couple picture books in a stack of big people books. For Sarah, who dearly loves Jan Brett (and will no doubt read Karoline's chapter book, too), I got The Turnip. Because, you know, I just wanted to buy a picture book for my baby. She will be a fan; I'm certain of that. 

And finally, Lucy--who received a giant stack of picture books for Christmas--will get this awesome Montessori counting book. Sarah was excited to see it in the house because I'm told they have it at Mrs. Carmen's school. Anything in that school is a good thing:-).

So, all wrapped up and shining like gold, these are our treasure for Epiphany this year. It's not too late. It's still Christmas! Maybe a new tradition happens in your house, too?

(Lots and lots more book ideas here. Lots.)

Not Feeling the Joy?

The pink candle has been lit. The pace quickens as we move closer to the feast. Christmas is coming — oh, the joy.

Except when the rose vestments sometimes just serve as a painful reminder that we are supposed to feel joy, but we don’t.

Not only are we fighting from within to feel something we want to feel, we are combatting an entire culture — both secular and religious — that is insistent that this is the season for joy. Maybe we need to look past the bright lights and even past the rose-colored splendor. Maybe we need to remember that Christmas didn’t come with the blare of trumpets repeating the sounding joy. It came in a stable, dark and dank. God chose a place of unlikely humility to introduce the very incarnation of joy.

How best to welcome Joy Himself? Bow low in simple humility — really low, where it’s damp and stinky. How best to evade Joy? Compete, compare and foster jealousy. Keep paging through those catalogs of beautifully staged “lives.” Keep perusing Instagram and watching wistfully what looks like perfectly executed tableaux of warmth and fellowship (but are really just framed and filtered snippets of good). Keep looking longingly through store windows and assuming that if you could just own that — whatever that is — you’d be more loved and more lovable. Keep feeding envy.

Oh, and another thing sure to steal the joy of the season: Somehow tangle the Christmas lights and the Advent candles with the deadlines and the grades of semester’s end. That will do it. Push yourself to near exhaustion trying to prove your worth as evidenced by a letter grade and then compare to the letter grades around you, and you have a perfect way to extinguish any and all joy of the season.

Can’t relate? Perhaps you’ve traded the intensity and competition of “finals week” for the corporate ladder, the bonus structure or the more subtle and more insidious competition of women who have no institutional structure by which to compare. They compare workouts, Pinterest-worthy parties, kitchens and, sadly, the achievements of their children. You don’t feel joy because joy is not attained by climbing higher and getting bigger in this life. And for goodness sake, the person who feels joy most is not the person who “does Christmas best.”

Christmas isn’t something we do. It’s a gift we receive.

Joy isn’t a feeling. It’s a conviction. It’s a choice. Joy is knowing that Christ came in a most unexpected, dark, and messy way the first time He came. Joy is knowing He will come again to shed light on our dark places, and He doesn’t purpose to stand in the harsh, artificial glare of our earthly glory.

We are transformed into joyful beings when we let go of the created structures we’ve been worshiping and we serve God alone. Until our souls cease striving and instead seek serving, we can’t avoid the negative trappings of pride and presumption, competition and comparison. Our good — the things we truly do for the good — is to be ordered to the service of God alone. When those good deeds are directed toward the human accolades they bring, one of two things happens (sometimes one is followed by the other). Either the human praise and the good feelings that come with it offer a fleeting happiness and enough self-conceit to fuel the insatiable desire to be bigger and better, or our best efforts are deemed not good enough either in our own eyes or the eyes of our perceived human judges and the effort brings bitter disappointment.

Joy comes to the soul that orders all “the doing” to the Baby in the manger. We cannot be deceived or tempted away from humility when our productivity at this time of year or any other is focused on serving as God serves. When we look away from the constant barrage of social media and flashing ads and even test scores and GPAs and we contemplate the humility of the manger, the very simplicity of the one life we truly want to emulate, we detach from the self-seeking and the self-praise that rob us of joy. The poor in spirit are the ones who truly share the glory and joy.

You are not good enough. You will never be good enough. But Christ in you? You, detached from the praise of this world and free to join in His glory? So very good. And so very joyful.

Merry Christmas.

Value in the Waiting

Just moments ago, I sat here in irritated frustration while a colored spinning wheel spun and spun and spun. It must have been 30 seconds or so. An eternity, really, in Internet time. I could barely sit still for the time it took to load a blank page upon which to write.

We don’t wait well, do we? In an age of instant access, we expect everything from information to merchandise to arrive within moments of being summoned. On those rare occasions when we are expected to wait, we feel like we are wasting time. And nobody has time to waste.

Earlier tonight, as I sat in the dark with a sleepy child who did not want to let go of her day, we whispered about Advent.

“It’s almost Christmas,” she said. “We lit the first candle and started the Jesse tree.”

“Christmas is coming,” I agreed. “It’s Advent. But that means we have a whole season of waiting before it’s Christmas. We have these weeks of getting our hearts ready. “

“I love the waiting,” she murmured sleepily. “I love knowing it’s coming. I also love the lights. And the stories. I really love Christmas stories.”

Sarah loves the waiting; she notices the lights. She’s 7, and she sees the value of the season — at least she sees it as well as a 7-year-old can.

There is value in the waiting — real, tangible value. God asked His people to wait for centuries before He fulfilled all His promises with a Baby in a manger. The whole long history of salvation is the story of children being asked to wait. God’s story is a story of waiting, and waiting is good. There is a big difference between joyful waiting and wishing it away.

As we wait, we remember that God is the author, God has the plan and God makes the promises. We trace the tale from the first man to the root of Jesse to the carpenter’s son, and we see that God didn’t hurry and He purposefully filled those days of waiting with centuries of covenantal relationship with His people. There is struggle in the wait and there is triumph in the wait. The waiting has value; it is of great worth.

My 7-year-old loves Advent. She loves the lights and the lists and the anticipation of it all. She loves it, in part, because she knows that this wait will end joyously, so she waits in joyful, expectant, sincere hope. This is going to be good. This is going to be Christmas. The time before the feast? It’s pretty good, too, because it’s not an irritated shifting from one foot to another until it’s our turn in line. Instead, it’s the happy anticipation of a long-awaited birthday party.

But what of the grown-up waiting? Do we trudge impatiently through the waiting time or do we stop and blink in wonder at the lights? Do we sigh and shrug and slouch a little under the weight of the worry that comes with waiting or do we see the value of the season of preparation? Can a grown-up wait in joyful hope? Yes, he can. God wants exactly that for all His children, even the ones with mortgages and mustaches.

We are waiting for Christ. We know He comes. We’ve read the end of this particular story. We can relax into this season, fully assured that our waiting will bring us to Christmas, to the joy of the Infant Jesus.

There is yet another story, though, the story God is still writing in our lives. Even as we know that we will celebrate the birth of the Savior, we observe another Advent. We await Christ’s second coming. As we sweep our houses clean and make all ready for the Christmas feast, so, too, we attend to some spiritual housekeeping. We look upon the covenant that Our Lord has had with His people throughout time, and we attend to our relationship with Him and with the people He has given to our lives.

It’s not Christmas yet. It’s not even the Christmas season yet. It is Advent — time of waiting. These days of waiting are rich with possibility. These are the days into which Our Lord pours His grace in order to heal us, to help us and to transform us into His own image. These days of waiting are not wasted days at all. Resist the urge to hurtle through them. Instead, unwrap the gift of them and redeem every minute.

It's Not Too Late!

Outside my window:  The first Sunday of Advent, Mike and I escaped for a few hours alone to celebrate his birthday. The girls decorated the house for Christmas in our absence. when we arrived home, it had just turned dark. Through my sewing room window, I could see Nutcracker costumes piled high and in the hallway beyond, there was our Nutcracker collection. A child in our house receives a Nutcracker to mark their first performance. Since Dad has been pressed into the role of Drosselmeyer, and more than one brother has been the prince, they have Nutcrackers, too. The sight made me catch my breath. I've tried and tried to catch it adequately with my camera, but this picture doesn't quite do it justice. . 

Listening to: Traffic. I'm at Kristin's keeping the dog company while they are out of town. It's noisy outside her window.

Clothing myself in: Sweatshirt and yoga pants. That dog and I are about to go for a long walk.

Thinking and thinking: About Advent. Nutcracker really consumed much of the first week. But now, I'm ready to settle into a quieter rhythm. I'm excited about my own book! (Does that sound strange?) It's been lovely to have a clickable Table of Contents and have a map for each day come alive on the screen. It's not too late for our family to live everything this season has to offer. It's not too late for you either. 

Here's what some people are saying about the book:

So. I've been reading the daily advent quotes, prayers and reflections in the Ebook bundle that [Elizabeth] and [Kristin] put together this year and I've felt such a sense of calm and peace over the last few days. Nothing has changed except my attitude and perspective, but isn't that usually the most important stuff to change? That strangest part is that each day I've done one small thing to prepare for His coming rather than try to "GET IT ALL DONE RIGHT NOW" the way my results-oriented self usually wants to do it. Yesterday, we baked salt dough ornaments and I brought up our main nativity. Today, I got some extra greenery while we were out and beautified the mantel (I am love with how it looks! Simple but elegant.) The kids painted their ornaments. I'm moving from one required  task to the next, but trying to leave room in my mind and heart to say "yes" to the little extras that I normally think I don't have the time or energy to do. "Lord, give me the grace to be the mom and wife I can't be on my own." Anyway! This is too long! You can get the Ebook yourself...I do recommend it. "

--Dwija, House Unseen

And it's not just for Catholics. Here's a review from a Protestant perspective: 

Elizabeth Foss is a good friend of mine and has mentored me over the years in mothering and intentional traditions. As a mama of nine, she has much wisdom, experience, humility and perspective to share. She has put together a beautiful Advent ebook this year that I spent hours last night reading and pondering. Written from a Catholic perspective, her gentle voice will reorient your heart towards the Infant Jesus through teaching you to pray, to trust, to wait and also very practical suggestions for celebrations, feast days, recipes and crafts. I have read and looked at many Advent resources over the years, and this is the first one that really seems to understand the strain that mothers are under during this season and encourages and guides and gives lots and lots of grace. It's on sale through tomorrow for $9 which is the price of a fast food combo meal these days. This will be slow food for your soul. Well worth it. --Aimee Kollmansberger

Talking with my children about these books:  We are using a bit of a hodgepodge approach to our Advent unit studies this year. A little from the great, good Tomie de Paola unit. A little from the evergreen botany, with some Nutcracker thrown in. And a little more from Christmas Around the World, and then all the old favorites. Plenty to read! I talked with Sarah recently about reading aloud during this time of year. Such a fun podcast:-)

In my own reading: I'm still listening to Brene Brown's Rising Strong. I loved The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. I like this one even more. It's uncanny how she's so definitely inside my head. It feels like she's cleaning things up and de-cluttering it, rearranging it a little to make it much more functional. Highly recommended.

Learning lessons In: Letting go. Michael begins his new job today. In California. I've felt this feeling in the pit of my stomach before. I felt it when I left my baby with my mother-in-law to go back to work after my first child was born. It was all I could do to hang on by my fingernails until we could work out another solution. I felt it again when Patrick left home at 15 to live for a year in Florida with the US National Team U-17s. I felt it when Michael left for college. And then when the others left. I felt it when I left my baby in the NICU and drove away without her. 

They were all temporary. It is entirely possible that this separation is not. We carry them and bear them and raise them and then they leave. That is the natural order, I'm told. Every stage of life has its challenges. Saying goodbye is the challenge of this one. Temporary goodbyes as children leave. Longer goodbyes as parents die. I am in the season of goodbye. Learning lessons here...

Encouraging learning in: Self care. Whoa, Nelly! Katie, my 13-year-old, danced 6 performance between Friday night and Sunday afternoon. She literally staggered into bed last night. I'm grateful she's homeschooled this  morning and I'm doing my darndest to help her understand how to care for herself during intense seasons.

Keeping house: Nutcracker costumes finished and ebook launched, it's time to thoroughly clean the house and get ready for the people who will fill it next week and into the Christmas season.

Crafting in the kitchen: A friend gifted me with the Whole Food Freezer Cooking Workshop and so far I'm loving it!

To be fit and happy: My friend Rachel is trying to make me run from afar. I'm grateful for the shove out the door.

Giving thanks: For your kind words about the ebook. It's always a little scary to send one's heart into the world on printed pages. Thank you for your kind responses. I'm especially grateful for the Facebook group of readers. Your enthusiasm and your ideas inspire me!

All Nutcracker pictures are the kindness of Kristin Foss.

On Christmas Trees and Nutcrackers

Photo credit: Paul Sanford

{{Remember, I've gathered my "Best of Advent and Christmas" into this great bundle. It's a gift to give yourself. }}

When I talked with Sarah earlier this week about immersing ourselves in Advent and Christmas reading during these December weeks, I stressed that the books and activities of the season aren't things I heap on to an already full academic plan. Instead, I apply the principles of a Storybook Year and seize the interest and enthusiasm of my children for the thrilling events of this time of year and just make that what we're learning and doing. 

A great example of this in action is this ridiculously intense week of the Nutcracker performances. In the space of two days, there will be 6 performances. For those days, dance will be all we do. But on the days surrounding those days and the days in the afterglow, there's a whole lot to learn away from the stage. (Let me tell you all the things we learned about lace and tulle last week... maybe in another post;-)

This is also the big decorating week around our house. Christmas greens are the best botany lesson of all in December! The week ahead looks downright balmy--perfect for an outdoor adventure.

photo credit: Kristin Foss

So in our house, this is a good week totravel along a Christmas trail and inhale the sweet smells of evergreen along the way. it's also a very good week to take advantage of the total family immersion in the Nutcracker to look at some art and music and storytelling. Remember, the whole idea behind a Storybook year, particularly during seasons of lots of outside-the-box learning (like dance productions), is to seize the enthusiasm and also the "real world" context for what kids are learning, not to kill yourself doing more and more and more.

So, as the tree goes up and the boughs get trimmed and the halls get decked, we can look a little more closely at the greenery. We can learn about coniferous trees and study the botanical information we can glean from looking carefully at Christmas trees:  Scots pine (Pinus sylvestris), Douglas fir (Pseudotsuga menziesii), Noble fir (Abies procera), and Norway spruce (Picea abies). Though we have a big brother away at college who really can't breathe in the presence of a pine tree, my bunch at home and I will visit a Christmas tree farm to gather some boughs and cones in order to carefully draw and compare needles and cones. We won't leave them here in the house when Patrick arrives home, though.

photo credit: Mary Beth Foss

There's a lot to be learned in picture books and a whole lot of science waiting to gently happen as you look carefully at Christmas greens. We've had great success teaching basic botany with books like Pine Trees and Golden Field Guides. This week, we're focusing on conifers.  Want to come along? Simply read the books with your child and then work your way through together, discussing the concepts, narrating, and drawing. Don't be tempted to leave out the "drawing" step--it really does enhance understanding and retention. For further study, botanical nomenclature cards are a good way to apply the Montessori three period lesson to botany study. These cards can also be used for drawing and labeling.

Ideas for Evergreen Reading:

Suggested Books for Read-Alouds and Narrations (These are to be narrated both verbally and artistically.  For the younger children it is often fun to keyboard an oral narration for them and then ask the child to illustrate the printed page.)

Why Christmas Trees Aren't Perfect

The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree

Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree

The Christmas Tree

The Legend of the Christmas Tree

photo credit: Paul Sanford (This one's from last year. Don't blink;-)

Writing :

You may want to begin to explore The Fairy Tale Christmas  book. There is more than enough material here for December and January. Since this week is Nutcracker week for the Foss family, we'll read the story of The Nutcracker in The Fairy Tale Christmas book. Older children can really explore the complexity of the story in the long version in this great book, illustrated by Maurice Sendak. We can all read this Susan Jeffer's edition and  discuss the notes about the story which the author of Fairy Tale Christmas has made. The older children will write critical papers discussing the story. Everyone will draw and illustrate The Nutcracker. Alternatively, use a story from Andrew Lang's Fairy Books or Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales or Grimm's Fairy Tales. For younger children, mom keyboards as the children tell the story. Older children are encouraged to write or keyboard for themselves. An older child's story is a great place for proofreading and editing practice. Younger children love to see their stories printed. All children should illustrate their stories. Stories written by younger children can be used for reading practice. To illustrate those stories, we'll learn  how to draw a nutcracker

We also thoroughly enjoyed giggling over Talulah's Nutcracker and Angelina's Nutcracker. 

Serendipi-Tea Time
Nutcracker music is likely to be heard at the Foss home during tea time this week. And we'll test out some of these recipes for sweet treats:
Sugarplums
Arabian Coffee
Snow cookies