So it's hopeless then...

Nicholas: I'm not good at layups.
Me: I'm not good at layups, either. We'll have to practice together. Then, we'll get better.
Nicholas: No, that won't work. You're old. You can't get better. You're a mom. Moms aren't as good as dads...And dads aren't as good as they were in college.

Well, that settles it. I'm up at dawn to practice layups. Old, indeed.