Happy Birthday, Stephen Thomas!



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How your name saint, St. Thomas More, must be smiling at the way you are spending your thirteenth birthday! You spent the morning in the General Assembly Building in Richmond, supporting a bill that will allow homeschoolers to play high school sports. You supported Patrick as he testified. Delegate Ramadan personally escorted you to the after party meeting following the victory that got that bill out of committee! For the afternoon, you and your brothers will be introduced to full General Assembly. 

How perfect. How totally YOU.

You are a statesman. You see yourself as a modern day Thomas Jefferson in soccer cleats. And you love Virginia. Oh, how you love Virginia! (The Commonwealth and The University--you've already picked out your locker.)

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It is 11:11 as I write. And I can't help but think of that day thirteen years ago, right about this time. Ever the Super Bowl baby (I just spent half an hour trying to search my own archives for Stephen's birth story. Surely I've written it here? Prize to the the first person who finds it), you are still and always Superman. Certainly, you are doing things in the superlative today.

I love you, buddy!

Tea party

 

Our Disney Trip: Bags and Buddies

When I shared our packing adventures, I mentioned that I packed a cinch sack for each of us. These are lightweight bags that can be worn backpack style. My boys collect them by the dozen from shoe manufacturers and soccer tournaments. We had plenty of them just hanging in the mud room. As a matter of fact, Nicky thought he could pack for the entire trip in them. He couldn't. (But he did try.) Every day at Disney, I loaded each bag with a water bottle, some trail mix, and granola bar or two and, on one fateful day, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If the children chose to bring iPods or Leappads with which to take pictures, they went in these bags. At the end of the day, I did bag management and turned them all inside out, gave them a good shake, and a quick rinse if necessary. The next day, I filled them again.

The snacks allowed us to avoid "hungry crankies," for the most part, and easily let us delay lunch until around 2:00, when most of the lunch crowds had already left the restaurants. Water bottles were easily refilled at water fountains. I can't overstate the importance of snacks and drinks. All I'll mention is that some of us had neither on the last day. Furthermore, at Animal Kingdom, there are no tops on drink cups, so if you want to walk and sip, you are out of luck without a water bottle. Ask me how I know.

About "buddies." One of my biggest fears was that we'd lose a little girl in the crowds. This fear was magnified when we realized that the crowds were much, much bigger than we had anticipated. We did not, however, employ a buddy system. I'm well aware of the much-touted use of buddies in big families. An older child is assigned a younger child and takes the responsibility of helping with everything from getting dressed to going potty to making sure he doesn't get lost. Mike and I made a conscious decision not to assign buddies. We wanted our big kids to be on vacation. We wanted them to relax and not to live in constant fear of crowds and at the constant mercy of the demands of little ones. As a family, we talked about how important it was to stay together and we made sure to impress upon all of them to watch out for each other, but Mike and I assumed all the responsibility for keeping an eagle eye out and doing frequent head counts. If a big kid hoisted a little one onto his shoulders, it was because he wanted to have her there, not because it was his assigned job.

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Sarah spent nearly the whole time strapped to me. I think we were all glad to know where she was. Karoline flits around every day and all the time so we did have to keep a close eye and her and if she walked, she held a hand. I brought an umbrella stroller. Then, truth be told, when I learned that free stroller rental was one of Mike's perks, I rented a double stroller every day. And we used it constantly. It was big and sturdy and ever-so-helpful for tired little people who couldn't walk fast enough to keep up with their big sibs. When the crowds were super bad, we put Katie and Kari both in the double rented stroller and Mike pushed. Everyone was secured in big crowds, particularly when the big boys were with us, because  Patrick and Christian corralled those "little" boys in their own special ways. 

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I have to say I loved holding them close. I loved being "just us" in the middle of crowds. If there is one magic thing I could have bottled and taken home, it would be the permission to be fully available and fully present to my children all day, every day. We were very blessed to stay in two bedroom villa with a living space and kitchen between the rooms. The kids had one huge room (with big boys sleeping in the living room) and Mike and I had a beautiful room with our own bathroom. We had time at night to be grownups and get away from the constant noise and activity of children. But the days? The days were all theirs. And we wouldn't have had it any other way.

The Winter from the Top of a Swing

I'm kind of tired of writing about Disney details for this week. I still have three more posts queued up and waiting for pictures and edits, but I think they can wait until next week.  Yesterday afternoon yielded an impromptu visit to the park and Mary Beth took some fun pictures with her iPod and I thought I'd just hang out here with you for awhile and think aloud about my friend Susan's last ever post and about all the wisdom there and about living a slow life. 

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I've been praying hard lately about slow. Quiet. Whisper. I've been praying about creativity and asking God what He would have me do. And I don't have a crystal clear answer. Colleen called this afternoon to tell me all about how she walks at least three miles a day just to get anywhere. She told me about her kitchen with the lattice walls and the simplicity of it all. She was asking me to think for myself about how to bring mindfulness, slowness, simplicity to life in the suburbs of the the most powerful city on earth. Seems daunting. But then again, swimming against the tide is always slow isn't it? There's nothing slow about this place; I'd be swimming against the tide if I were even trying to move slowly.

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The internet is fast. I feel my pulse quicken when I open the laptop. Text messaging and cell phones are fast. I watched a dear girl's furrowed brow grow smoothe when she let her battery die and took days to get around to recharging it. It is clear to me that we must be ever-vigilant lest we let technology fast forward our lives and infringe on the margins of clear, quiet space where we can just be still and know God.

Susan writes, "We live in a time when slowing down does not simply mean that we casually choose not to get caught in the speedy flow of our culture, but, increasingly, we must absolutely do battle against speed in order not to get caught up in the flow. And nowadays we have the added pressure placed on us by modern technology to be ever-available and always-distracted. But battling against this is very much worth the fight, in my opinion."

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It's not just technology though. Interactions with our fully present community seem to demand expediency and efficiency. To be intentionally slow and soft requires a decided change in thought process. I find myself countering the activity of real life. This quiet is encapsulated in all the intentional choices to just be when the world asks us to hurry towards productivity. It's the wide open spaces in a day that allow us to look at the gift of a warm winter afternoon from the top of a swing.

Why create margins? Why slow down? What if we miss an opportunity? What if we don't network hard enough or fast enough or often enough? To that, I have to wonder, what if we're really missing a network that is much, much more important? Much, much more rewarding?

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Susan goes on to remind us of some very poignant quotes: 

" 'All in order, sweet and lovely.'(Blake)  And I’ll quote the Bible, too: 'For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.' And why not thrown in Anne Morrow Lindbergh who said that it is only framed in space that beauty blooms? And all of this goes for our whole life; order is not just about the arrangement of our stuff! A beautiful life of margin saves space—uncluttered and unhurried—for the unexpected, for surprise, for serendipity, for spontaneity, for compassion, for instant hospitality, for relationships, and for lots of good things to happen."
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The internet has blessed me in so many ways. Daily, my life is touched for the better by the people I have met online.  I am grateful forever for blogging--the medium suits me well. But I think I am a slow blogger. I cannot--will not, perhaps--keep up with the frantic pace of being everywhere online. Networking zaps me. The internet allows us to be pulled into the extroverted world without every leaving home or saying a word. I think it could be an unnatural exposure for an invtrovert.

Sometimes I am sure I would love a house like this, not to live in, just to retreat to when the noise and activity become too much. My children remind me that we have a playhouse at the edge of the backyard. And almost automatically, I think, "Hmm, I could probalby still get wi-fi there." I am a paradox.

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But frantic pace and constant availability zaps me even more in real life. I asked a friend yesterday for the phone number of a mutual friend. She sent it and asked if I'd ever heard their musical answering machine message. I replied that I'd never called her. She's a very close friend. We correspond nearly daily. I love the sound of her voice and could sit for hours in real life and just listen to her talk. I love when she has time to share a converation with me. She's called me a couple times. But I've never called. Still haven't. Because in real life, it takes a huge effort for me to dial the phone. The older I get, the less I like to shatter silence with my own voice, the less I want to intrude on someone else's silence.

When I was little, people thought I was pouting or moody. I will never forget the day--I must have been around nine--when someone asked why I was so grumpy within earshot of my grandfather. He took one look at me and said, "She's not grumpy; she's pensive." It is forever inked in my memory. Understanding. He understood that I was not moody or aloof or even shy. I was just thinking. I need quiet. I need deep, face-to-face connections.If I have a conversation, I'd prefer for it to be a slow, thoughtful one. I need fresh air and sunshine. I need space to think. I don't think quickly.

And then, I also need space to do. To work with my hands. To ink out a thought. to capture an image. Wide open space to make connections to my Creator within my own soul and spirit with before I can make sense of anything else.

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I put up two prayer requests this week for boys not unlike my own. Indeed, one of them played soccer with my eldest. I can't pray for them and for their families without feeling an overwhelming tug of empathy. And an overwhelming urge to hold my children. (At the same time, though, I'm compelled to bring their intentions to as many people as possible and I'm grateful this medium allows me to do that.) Life is full and rich and joyous and sad. And we need margins to make sense of it all, don't we? And life is short. I'd prefer not to waste a single moment of it.

When I was on vacation (ah, see? there's Disney again), my time online was naturally limited. I spent a few minutes a day (fewer than fifteen) uploading pictures so that our families could follow our fun on Facebook. It was just the right amount of time for that kind of connecting. And then, I spent hours and hours out of doors, holding my little one, listening carefully to the others, giving full time and undivided attention to the here and now. Despite the noise and color and crowds of where I was, it was a peaceful way to live. Certainly all of life isn't a vacation and I can't expect to come home and act as if I'm living in a resort villa, but I think I can impose upon myself some of the same expectations for limits here and wide open spaces there.

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God is in the margins. 

I'm not logging off  forever. I'll likely be back tomorrow. Because I need to write. I need to take  pictures. I need to put it all together and make sense of it for myself. And for some reason, I'm am compelled to share it with you. Gosh, I'm grateful you pause with me. And I do hope that this little corner of my world can be a quiet respite for you. Because really, I'm all about the quiet. 

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An Old Favorite in a Brand New Place

Suspicio

I'm pleased to be visiting at Suscipio today. Suscipio is  new website founded for the encouragement of Catholic women. The contributors write:

 

We are single, married, mothers, grandmothers… We strive to make God the Father the habitual guide and help of our lives because we know, with Him we can do all things.  We offer a place of comfort and rest for those whom we love. We also need the support and encouragement of our sisters in Christ. Our souls are tender, our hearts thoughtful and some days we just need a place to go and know we are accepted “as is”…Suscipio, Latin for: to raise up, maintain, support, accept, receive.

You are in the right place…stay awhile.

It surely is a beautiful place and the invitation to stay is gracious and welcome. They've chosen an old favorite from my archives today. Do come by and visit us there. And stay awhile:-).

 

Our Disney Trip: Organized Packing and Playing in the Van

The last time I drove to my mother's in Ponte Vedra, Michael was eighteen and Karoline was an infant riding backwards. Mike flew in to meet us there. I drove the whole way. Karoline cried the whole way. It took us fourteen hours. I waited nearly five years to repeat that trip.

This time, Mike drove. Everyone is old enough to ride facing forward. And I applied everything I have ever learned about packing and planning for the car. here's the brain dump.

Packing::

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We began the packing process early and took our time working through it thoughtfully. Mary Beth was a huge help. Totally umprompted, she presented me with packing lists one morning and showed me how she had begun to gather into a laundry basket t all of the extra things we would need. Those basket items were then divided into things we would need in the car while we traveled and things that could be packed and put in the back. Then, it was divided again to cut down on what we actually needed and didn't need. The kids' bags were laid out on the floor, packed, checked, unpacked, repacked, checked, and one more for good measure;-). I'm happy to report no one underpacked (though a certain 13-year-old boy overpacked). 

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We were lucky enough to have a washer and dryer in our hotel suite, a feature that was a huge help with eliminating extra clothes. I did laundry every day at my mother's house and every day at Disney World. The only dirty laundry we brought home was the laundry we were wearing. That made transition to home a bit easier.  The packing lists we created for the children included 3 pairs of jeans, 5 shirts (3 long sleeved, and 2 short sleeved), sweatshirt with hood, bathing suit, pajamas, underwear, socks, baseball cap, and sunglasses and clothes to wear for dinner at the club and church. The older kids were in charge of getting their car 'toys' into the car while the youngers had theirs packed in an extra bag (more on that later in the post). 

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A note about shoes: About three weeks before we left, I took inventory of the shoes each child planned to wear while walking at Disney.I made sure they were in good repair and fit perfectly. I ended up buying new pairs for a couple of children and then encouraging them to wear them often before we left so that they'd be broken in and we'd catch any ill-fitting blister issues before leaving.

Car Bag 1 (this is a euphemism. We actulaly called it the "Throw Up Bag.").  The first car bag was packed with things we potentionally would need while we were in the car (a bag that wouldn't get packed and be unaccesible in the back of the car). We have several children who are prone to motion sickness. This bag was the go-to bag when someone started to gag. It included baby wipes, clorox wipes, gum, snacks, waterbottles (they weren't IN the bag but nearby), and plastic bins just in case of car sickness. I used these bins, so that I could put the lid on it and dispose of it as soon as possible. I also packed a roll of scented trash bags for nasty clothes and clean up trash.  In the accessible car bag, we included a change of clothes for each of our two littlest girls. 

Extra Things Bags: This was a catch-all bag for the stuff of every day living away from home. It included

  • Tiger Balm patches  and cream (for mom's elbow, but they were used otherwise as well)
  • bandaids (why, Mickey Mouse of course)
  • neosporin
  • blister packs (happy to say no one in our family needed them, but I did give one to someone else)
  • nebulizer 
  • cold medicine 
  • Airborne
  • sunscreen (something we definitely DID need)
  • Advil
  • breakfast food and some patnry items for meals prepared in the hotel. we ate all our breakfasts and some dinners in the hotel.
  • glowsticks, needed for extra magic at night and great for helping to keep track of kids at the nighttime parade and fireworks
  • garbage bags 
  • laundry soap
  • paper towels.  
  • Tide to go
  • Cinch sacks for everybody. I'll explain these in further detail in a later post, but we packed an empty cinch sack for each of us to use daily while we were there for water and snacks and other essentials. The boys regularly collect these at soccer tournaments and from shoe vendors, so we had planty of them around the house. Sarah's bag was the only one that was different. She had a teddy bear backpack that was a birthday gift. Since I ended up carrying her and her packpack more often than not, I'd think differently about her backpack if I had it to do again. My backpack was a frontpack. Sarah rode in it. So, my pocket for water and snacks was super small. I still managed to put trail mix in it and to stash a few bandaids, Tide-toGo, and lipgloss. I carried this purse with me everywhere. The size, the zippers and the velcro while I walked through throngs in the park made it perfect! (And here I admit that it made me happy that my hipster and my baby carrier happened to coordinate. It's the little things;-). 

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AeroBed Sleep Tight Bed: So worth the money! This bed is extremely easy to inflate and so cozy to sleep in. If you need extra beds in the hotel room I strongly recommend these. i didn't pack these from home. My Aunt Lisette had them for her grandchildren and mentioned them to me. My mom borrowed them from her while we were staying at my mother's and then I packed them to take to Disney. I plan to buy some of our won. Katie and Sarah slept on them. Katie is nine and had plenty of room. One night, Sarah woke and I laid down next to her to put her back to sleep. I comfortably spent the rest of the night there. 

Download Disney Master List PDF.

Tips for a Happy Car Ride:

For the older kids they had the things they wanted in their own bags/pockets so they weren't forgotten. They mostly occupied themselves with iPods, laptops, and the occasional Kindle. They also slept a whole lot. iPod Touch: This is 14 hours of teen and tween peace at your fingertips, from Nick to Christian, all of the older kids had music, HD video camera, game apps, and, when needed, iCloud to find misplaced iPods. Audio books can be downloaded to these also and they can listen to them while playing apps.  While in wifi zones, the kids could also play Words with Friends against each other, update to Facebook, and check ESPN game scores.

For the younger kids, we kept their LeapPads, batteries, and  headphones in one bag ready and accessible to them. This was Car Bag 2, another accessible bag with extra batteries, markers, drawing paper, crosstich projects, extra embroidery floss and Kids Travel (by Klutz). This book matches its description as a backseat survival kit. Everyone had something fun to use in this book, it is definitely complete. Even if you don't plan on going on a trip anytime soon you might like this book, lots of fun mess-free things to do. 

About the LeapPad in Pink and LeapPad in Green.: These have gone up in price and are still extremely hard to find in stock. We bought them for each of the little girls for $99 each and that was their Christmas present from us (we don't do Santa--so the Leap Pad was it). I let them play with them Christmas Day and then I put them away until the trip. The recommended age is 4-8,  but I think it suits a much wider span. Sarah is three and LOVED it, and Stephen (13) and Nick (11) might have spent more time on them than Katie. Also, once we got to Disney these were great to have when they wanted to take pictures or even videos of Disney World,.The camera isn't the greatest but it is not awful and it captured for them what they wanted to remember. We only let them take the Leap Pads into the park on one day because I really didn't want to mess with carrying and remembering them. LeapFrog always does things well and this product is no exception. 

Make sleeping comfortable. We packed a pillow a person and some throw blankets..Those throw blankets were passed all around and helped tremendously when one person wanted the air conditioner up high and another person didn't want air conditioning at all.

Snacks on the Way and Border Treats: We packed a variety of snacks so that we could stretch time between stopping for meals and keep carsickness at bay. I tucked in granola bars in three different flavors, crackers, goldfish, trail mix, and things that would hopefully not make too much mess in the back. I did vacuum after arriving in Ponte Vedra, after returning to Ponte Vedra from Orlando, and after we got home before we returned the rental car.

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The favorite treats were our border treats. This is a fun idea Lissa passed on to me when I drove to Florida several years ago.  Every time we crossed a border into another state, Katie would read aloud (or shout) the sign saying "Welcome to...", then the treat would be passed all around. On the way there we had: Peanut Butter Cups from Trader Joe's (you will never want Reese's again after tasting these), Smashing S'Mores from Trader Joe's, Minty Mallows from Trader Joe's, and Salted Caramel Chocolates. On the way home we had to go to a local grocery store and we had: Pirouettes, Coconut Dreams, Mint Cookies, and Chocolate Covered Ritz Crackers.

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For my own entertainment, I packed some embroidery and some lovely floss. I had visions of stitching merrily for hours while I chatted with Mike. The reality was that I stitched a wee bit and then recognized that the van was not the smoothest ride and getting that needle right where I wanted it wasn't happening. Besides, the shifting light along the treeline as we traveled, combined with the needlework, made me start wondering about whether that Throw Up Bag was for me, too. I also packed a bunch of old design magazines, some glue, and a blank sketchbook to create an idea journal. That took about an hour:-). There were some new books, both print and audio awaiting me on my Kindle, but that just seemed rude to Mike, who was doing the real work of getting us there. Mostly, I just kept keeping the little girls happy. 

In order to maximize the benefit of gas and meal stops, I insisted everybody "give it a try" every time we stopped at a bathroom. For the most part, this strategy prevented the dreaded "I have to go" fifteen minutes after having just stopped. I will admit that I grew very, very weary of lifting Sarah onto every public toilet along the southeast coast. 

On the way down, the girls were battling carsicknesses mightily. Mike and I decided on a sitdown late breakfast at Cracker Barrel. After that stop, they were considerably better the rest of the trip. So, it was probably time well spent. But it did slow us quite a bit. On the trip home, we snacked more and stopped for fast food and potty breaks, but ate meals in the car. All in all, our best coping strategy for little bladders and motion-sick girlies was to accept it and just roll. We did what they needed and didn't try to push past their limits. 

One more note: we don't have a vehicle big enough for all of us any more, so one of our major expenses was the renting of a 15 passenger van. We had plenty of space for all of us and all our stuff. The thing gobbled gas, though.

This trip was so much better than the last one. As long as Mike is with me and willing to drive, I'd easily do it again. Soon. Maybe this summer? 

 {{This post, the PDFs, and all of the packing that went into the education that informs this post, would not have been possible without bushels of cheerful, thoughtful help from Mary Beth. }}