Coming up for Air

I woke up this morning and did something I haven't been able to do for over three weeks. I took in air through my nose. Gingerly, I sat up in bed and wondered where my head was. I couldn't feel it. I mean, it didn't hurt. I leaned over. Ah. There it was. Still painful. I swallowed. Yep. Still have a throat and it still hurts, too. And my neck and shoulders? Check. They're there. But I'm making progress. I sort of feel better.

I wandered downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that Michael's arrival home yesterday would mean that three thoughtful teenaged boys cleaned the middle floor when I went to bed early. Maybe not. It was trashed. And I do mean trashed. As in no one did the dishes or took the trash out and the dog had a party while we slept. Who's training these kids anyway? I offer my sincere apologies to my future daughters-in-law. I'm trying really. They just don't get it. Something about conference championships and Sports Center. They are flirting with the potential for me to give new meaning to March Madness.

Oh, dear. I asked a friend recently how long we'd been sick.  I 've lost track of time; I truly have. She thinks it started right after Ash Wednesday. I think she's right. Some year, I'm actually going to get to pick my Lent.  My grand plan for Lent was to declutter. I was going to spend the whole time ridding myself of stuff which is weighing me down and impeding my family's spiritual progress towards getting to Mass on time heaven. I did manage to begin to gather "stuff" into big black bags to give away. And I did make one "clutter truck" pick up date. There's another tomorrow. And I've read all sorts of great goings-on in the de-cluttering world.

Rebecca got me going ( in real life, no less) and she has faithfully patted my head and told me not to worry as I've bemoaned my stalled progress. Sarah inspired my clothing purge and I'm really considering the sock thing, too. There's nothing like a nesting mom to truly give us all a kick in the tushy. My children are hoping Emily will deliver soon, lest they have nothing left to wear. Seriously, I need to go back through and pare everyone down to fewer outfits. I still cannot manage the clothes in this house despite the huge volume we gave away.

Bless her heart, Cheryl has done what I was so hoping someone would do: she's begun the schoolroom organization discussion. The reality is that no matter what one thinks of Peter Walsh or all the other organizational experts out there, there is both a quantitative and qualitative difference in the homes of large homeschooling families.[Incidentally, speaking of Peter Walsh, does this clutter make my butt look fat? Yes, it must. Because when I lived in a much smaller house and had far fewer things, I was much thinner. Of course, I was fifteen years younger,  had one quarter the number o f children and none of them played sports yet and we didn't homeschool--but still, I was skinny.Must be the clutter.]

First, there's the "large" part of large, homeschooling families.  Last summer, my daughter was the recipient of three pairs of flip-flops. Why, I asked, does anyone need three pairs of flip-flops? There was a great sale and for a dollar a pair, why not? Here's why not: There are ten people in my home. Each person has two feet. If every one of them had three pairs of flip-flops, I would have to find places for 60 shoes. And that's just the flip-flops. Now, add the everyday play shoes. Everyone needs at least one pair. Then church shoes. Four boys need soccer cleats and the same four boys need indoor soccer shoes. Three boys need basketball shoes. One boy needs football cleats. My husband says he needs both a pair of brown work shoes and a pair of black work shoes. Two girls need ballet flats. One needs jazz shoes and tap shoes.  We've just added pointe shoes to the mix. The rain boots for every child work as snow boots with heavy socks. In the summer, we'll add sandals. I haven't mentioned my shoes. I'm sure I've missed some other essential shoes and  I cannot do the math. Someone let me know how many shoes that is. Don't count the flip-flops. No one needs one more just because she can have one more.

The truth is big families do need more stuff. Shall I count pairs of underwear for you? Or socks perhaps? But we live in houses designed for average-sized families and so we must be more careful than the average family about what we bring into the house and how we store it when it's here. We don't get rid of the baby toys and the toddler toys when people outgrow them because there are babies and toddlers waiting for them, thank God. And we buy the big kid toys to add to the collection. We have a whole lot of toys. Still, do we need this many? Can we pare down the toys to nearly nothing and opt for wide open spaces instead?

Now, take into account the "Home" part of homeschooling. We are here all day. My school aged children do not leave for six hours a day and allow me to tidy and straighten and purge and clean. Indeed, they stay here and take things out and eat lunch at home, thereby messing up the kitchen again. Because they learn here at home, we have things at home that many families do not have. We have more books than I can count. We have paper in every color under the sun. We have a fully stocked craft shelf (which is currently spilling onto the floor). We have map puzzles. We have cuisenaire rods. We have sandpaper letters. We have Latin lessons on DVD. And we have notebooks. Ah, yes, we make notebooks for every unit. We have nature study notebooks, picture study notebooks, sacrament preparation notebooks. Shall I multiply the notebooks like I did the shoes? Should I change my teaching style to one of consumable workbooks which can be thrown away when completed? Because I'm telling you what, no one wants to part with his or her notebook. And neither do I. I'm glad Cheryl has started us thinking about what to keep and what to purge in terms of home education. My problem is that I do not want to buy resources again and yet, not everything is in use all the time. The simple solution would be to box and store but I have a big house with very little storage space. That is, we have fairly large rooms and quite a few of them, but no attic space and little basement storage space. Everything is right out there in the open. And just so you know, my learning room no longer looks anything like this. But hope springs eternal and one day it will again.

What about the garage? Glad you asked. Yesterday, I told those charming teenaged boys that we were going to spend just a half hour clearing the trash out the garage. I promised it wouldn't hurt and I promised I'd keep it short. Then, I knocked over 4 gallons of white paint. I'm not going to waste time and energy wondering who put a contractor's sized vat of white paint in the garage without putting the top on securely. It took us more than half an hour to get out of the garage yesterday. And that's about all I had in me. I wanted to de-clutter for Lent. I got the flu instead.

So, I'm going to go drop more grapefruit seed extract down my throat and squirt more tea tree oil into my sinus passages. I'm going to make another cup of very hot tea with honey and lemon. I'm going to wake these children who don't understand that even homeschoolers need to adjust to the time change. And I'm going to keep on keeping on. Because, by golly, we have nearly two weeks left of Lent and I'm going to clear out the clutter. I am.

Not just your ordinary de-cluttering

This is a holy mission, a quest to find time and space for God.It is an imperative for authentic Catholic homemaking. This is a clearing of soul as I pursue a clearing of space. And time. Colleen captures it better than I do:

Over and over I have talked myself out of this being the problem.  Overand over I have reasoned that I just needed more containers and bookshelves (stuff for my stuff).  And over and over I have found myself lying in bed at night feeling like a total failure because of the state of my stuff.  Even on a day when we have prayed together, learned together, played together, I can often find myself guilt-ridden at night because I was not able to manage my home as I think I should. If stuff is in the way of my experiencing God's love and mercy, it's definitely the problem. Read the rest here.

Now here's a challenge!

I have been a slug for three days now. I can't seem to motivate myself to do much of anything...I want to de-clutter; I want to write curriculum; I want to do all sorts of things. Just not very much;-) But I think Rebecca might be lighting a fire beneath me. She is reading It's All Too Much and she's moving along quite nicely. Now, Rebecca is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks. One would think that fact alone would motivate me. Do I really want the woman who is on an organizing, de-cluttering tear to see my chaos? Apparently so, because I'm sitting here, doing very little, and thinking maybe when she gets here, she'll help me:-).
Today, Rebecca broke down how she "did" her sunroom. She took Peter Walsh's advice to heart and then she shared it with the world. I might be getting just a little motivated. I could do that. I could go room by room and list its purpose and make a plan. At least, I think I could. Tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow. Right after soccer, ballet, and basketball. I'll start with the storage/craft room. I promise.
Maybe.

My Very Last Calendar-Home Companion Book Post (for now;-)

I've been thinking a lot about planning and organizing and writing it all down. I love lists. So, I've been thinking, thinking, thinking. I've been thinking while I drive and thinking while I vacuum and thinking while I sort a million boxes of out-size, out-season clothes. I've been thinking while I pack up some of the Christmas decorations, thinking while I clean out my closet (which previously held all the Christmas chaos), thinking while I de-clutter and streamline the learning room. I've been thinking while I go to ballet, to basketball, to indoor soccer, to outdoor soccer. That's a lot of thinking. And the thing I think the most is that whatever I commit to paper or 'puter, it's got to be simple because for all my thinking, there's just not a whole lot of time to write it all down. In this family, we've been open to life for twenty years and now, our house is teeming with life, thank God. So, mostly my thinking has been limited to what's working, because, frankly, I haven't time to waste on what's not working. Let's just go with what's good enough and get on with the show. For 2008, "good enough" is the new excellent.

It's working to divide that original Home Companion Book into three:  The Faith Book, The Kitchen Book, and The Home Management Book. There are calendars specific to each of them and that works just fine. I guess there should be a book for "school," but honestly it's all in the computer and it's much less cluttered there.

In the Faith Book, there are dividers for every month and a divider for  Lent and the Easter season (since those don't fit neatly into a particular month). Behind each divider, I am saving novena prayers, tea and a craft ideas and craft of the week ideas, and ideas from other bloggers. I'm printing from Catholic Culture as necessary and making notes of my own middle of the night inspiration. I have found that when a great idea appears on my computer screen, it helps me enormously to cut and paste it to a Word document and print it. Then, I put it in the binder and I try very hard to let go of any guilt it has inspired. If it is possible for me to get to that great idea and put it into action in my house in the near future, I do. If not, I know it's there. It won't disappear if the website does. It is not urgent. If it's a great idea this year, it will still be a great idea next year. Or when I no longer have a nursing baby. Or when I'm looking for something wonderful and creative and nurturing to do with my grandchildren. The liturgical year goes around and around and around again. Ever old, ever new. We don't have to do it all today; we can save some for later. That's the beauty of the binder. No guilt.

Another component of the faith binder is a page with the Mother's Liturgy of the Hours, taken from Holly's Notebook. Here's where I've sketched out a general rhythm of prayer. Again, the plan is in place, but it sure would be a shame if I made myself unavailable for a child who needed me or cranked up the cranky to meet the schedule, thereby sinning in order to pray. God knows that good enough is the new excellent.

The Kitchen Book holds all the things it did when it was a section in the big book, now updated to reflect the current state of my kitchen.

• a Basic Kitchen Inventory Download healthy_kitchen_basic_inventory.1.doc which I use to generate a grocery list
• A weekly menu. Yes, this used to be a three week cycle menu. No longer. Now, it is the epitome of boring simplicity. It works for me. The grocery buying is fine tuned to the point that I do my co-op ordering and then I can send a teenaged boy into Costco and have him emerge with the week's groceries eighteen minutes later. That's pretty streamlined:-). I cook. I love to cook. But I'd rather spend my time in the roll-up-your-sleeves, tie-on-your-apron place than in front of the computer or the cookbooks planning meal after meal. If I can get a homecooked meal on the table every night and feed everyone reasonable lunches and dinners, that's good enough. And good enough is the new excellent, remember?
• All the recipes that go with the meals in the cycle menu are in the kitchen book which is kept in the kitchen:-).
• The co-op order form (we order all our poultry, eggs, butter and many dry goods from a Virginia farm once a month) is in the kitchen book so that I can make pen and paper notes during the month. Ordering happens online.
• An inventory of all the food in the upright freezer (twice a year, we order a side of beef) is kept current (or as current as possible when midnight marauders eat steak surreptitiously and think no one will notice).
• Then, there is a calendar section to this binder, too. Here's where the seasonal recipes go. The pumpkin cake we always have on Halloween, the Seder dinner recipes, the Easter menu and recipes and directions for the lamb cake, the peppermint bark recipe--it's all here ready to remind me and to take the stress out of continuing traditions.
• Finally, I've included diet diary forms from Holly Pierlot's Mother's rule of Life Workbook. It's helpful for me to see exactly what I'm putting in my mouth. 'Nuff said there.

The idea here for me is to commit it to paper once and then let it go from my brain. I'm not going to think about what to have for dinner on Monday night until the seasons change again. I'm finished thinking about it. I'm not going to think through a grocery list. If the menu plan isn't perfect (and it isn't), it's adequate and everyone is growing well. So, I'm moving away from the plans and onto the real world in my kitchen.

The Home Management notebook is remarkably unchanged since the original post.
I did download Motivated Moms 2008 schedule. For $8, it's a bargain. It isn't adequate to cover the housekeeping needs of a family my size in a house like mine, but it's a good start. I refer to it in order to update my weekly chore list with things that I might not have considered. Since the original post  I  have re-written the chore chart to reflect the departure of my greatest asset (Michael left for college).For the children, having the chores committed to paper is crucial. There is no confusion about whose night it is to clean the kitchen or whether the family room needs vacuuming. For me, the discipline most required is self-discipline. I know better than to expect what I don't inspect. I need to do a whole lot of inspecting.

Finally, there's the Home Education component to calendars. Sigh. I heard it once said that homeschoolers don't put their children in schools because they can't find an adequate algebra program, they put them in schools because they can't find a pair of matching socks. I cannot tell you how many times that sentiment has echoed in my head as my husband has tried to pack for a business trip. What is it with laundry?? Really. What is it? All the Catholic homemaking systems have to work at least reasonably well or the final component --the education at home component--just doesn't happen. It has helped me to take the chore list and the diet diary sheet and the weekly menu and do the clipboard thing. I have a million kids.I need to think things through carefully and then I need visual reminders. What is most important on that clipboard is a global checklist of all the possible school things they could or should be doing and who could or should be doing them. This is where I'm concentrating. No one is going to be idle because I've got a clipboard and by golly, if they are idle, I'm going to whop them upside the head with it consult the clipboard and gently remind them of what remains to be done.The chart is still in its testing stages, but it looks sort of like this. Download planning_chart.doc

Now, let's get real. The thinking, thinking, thinking is important. I don't think anyone can manage a household and a large family without giving earnest thought to goals and routines. We need to be thoughtful; we need to consider constantly where we are and where we want to be. But, we also need to recognize, that, in the words of a wise mother of many, "some stuff is going to happen." Every day, usually several times a day, some stuff is going to happen. And it won't be the stuff on the lists. It will be other stuff. And because of the other stuff, some stuff is going to be undone. The prayerful planning allows us to focus, but it's the willingness to relinquish the plans for the greater good that leaves us open to His abundant grace. And that--that openness--is what it is to truly be open to life.

Visit Red Sea School for the Carnival of Homeschooling and more calendar ideas than you can imagine. I'm not exaggerating; I've never seen such a huge carnival!

I'm in!

Sarah who is making a beautiful Catholic home in the Great Plains has issued a challenge. Here are the parameters:

Strive for these Goals

1. Invite the Blessed Mother to my home. . .daily, with a Memorare for the intention of asking her to visit me as she did her cousin, and to help me keep my eyes toward heaven.

2. Begin my day with a Morning Offering-to offer my all to God

2. Follow a simple organizational routine

3. Take on little things to help our household stay beautiful and joyful.

4. Write about household topics and link others' blogs who are motivational

The Rules:

1. Remember People are more important than things

2. Remember that messes look bigger than they are

3. Small things done in the home can add beauty

4. Stay real: we will never be perfect, especially with children around us

5. Keep a sense of humor

6. Forgive myself for imperfection and limitations, focusing on those thing I do accomplish

7. Persevere

I'm in; are you?