needle and thREAD

So, no sewing to report. Yet. I have a flannel nightgown day planned in honor of the forecasted snow, but that won't do much good this morning. Instead of works in progress or finished works, I have for you today the Grand Plan. Here's the sewing I have planned for the year. I figure this will keep me organized, give me a reference when I don't know what to do next, and hold me accountable (a bit) to use what I have.

First up will be flannel nightgowns made of Marmalade. I have lots of eyelet with which to trim them. Today. I must do these today.

Next up, Easter dresses. I'm planning three fairy tale dresses made of Ladies Stitching Club fabric, one in each colorway. To go with them, three Tiny Tea Leaves cardigans. One is nearly finished (I started it for Katie 18 months ago--it will be Karoline's instead) and the other two will be knit of Amy Butler Belle Organic Aran (this yarn has been discontinued).

After the Easter dresses (or maybe concurrently), this fabric will become a quilt for Mary Beth and draperies for her bedroom. The fabric is Heather Bailey Home Dec Garden District and the quilt will be our variation of the Picnic Blanket. We will do a drapery tutorial when we make these drapes. Cari's got it all written, but I want to take pictures as we go.

Then, it should be time for summer shirts and sundresses. I'll pull from the stack above.

This is Sarah Annie's stash. Pink. 

Dresses and tops for summer will come from this basket of Oliver + S patterns. We have more than enough in our collection for some variety.

Knitting after the Easter sweaters are complete will be Christmas knitting. We've got yarn stashed for scarves and cowls for cousins and teachers and special girls in our life. Still searching the perfect patterns (suggestions?). To go with the handknits, this year I'm resolved to give gifts in fabric bags. I still need to find a tutorial for nice drawstring bags.

I've set aside some bags we have to see if I can find the best method of "drawing the string." We have an abundance of Flurry fabric from the Christmas quilt. Some of it will become another quilt and the rest will be gift bags. 

I'm hoping to get to several quilt tops over the summer. I have jelly rolls of Kate Spain's new Honey, Honey set aside for the little girls. They will each get to choose the yardage for the backs and binding. I need to do that soon so that quantities aren't limited. I plan to use this quilt pattern.

I'd like to finish the California anniversary quilt. Maybe by our next anniversary?

Speaking of quilts, there is fabric here for a quilt for Mike's parents (some older Joanna Figuera) and then there is some more fabric from the quilt I made for Sarah's Posey-pie. Not sure if there's enough there for TWO more babies (you did hear she's expecting twins, didn't you?), but we're creative types around these parts; once we know gender, we'll put our heads to that.

There are some more of those fabulous Anna Maria Horner scarves to be made. I love these so much and truthfully, this fabric is earmarked for me! I hope to squeak them in rather soon. I also have a stash of ribbon. Opportunities to use pretty ribbon always seem to present themselves. It's good to be prepared.

There is also some long-ago stashed Anna Maria Horner on this shelf, enough to make a large voile quilt. I purchased it before I realized how slippery and fragile voile is. It's patiently waiting for my skills to improve. There's some velveteen, too. I was thinking about this cape. Maybe? 

That's more than enough for the year, I think. I haven't left any room for new inspirations. That's probably a good thing; I have imposed a spending freeze upon myself, too:-).

Reading? Did you notice that the girls' jelly rolls sit atop Deborah Moebe's new book? Stitch Savvy. You might remember that it was Deborah's book that got me going on this sewing path. That and Sarah's insistence that we both learn to sew. Instead of learning to sewing, Sarah had a baby. I learned to sew (a baby is better, I tell you).  Now, she's having twins. Guess that means my sewing goes into overdrive and I read Deborah's new book?

Stay tuned.

What are you sewing and reading this week? I really do want to hear all about it!

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Now, I must click this shut and focus on our pending snow day. 

And sew some flannel nightgowns. Today. Promise.

Still Talking Food (with a side of knitting)

After reading Cravings, I picked up An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace. It's not really a cookbook, but I sure am learning some things about cooking! It's a book of foodie essays about elemental things, like how to make good stock and how to cook eggs well. I've been cooking eggs for a very long time and I promise you, I'll never look at an egg the same way again. I think we'll call it an "intentional kitchen book." It brings me back to the basics of food and what it is and what it can do with just a few simple skills. It's so well named--if you are a "judge a book by the cover" type, know that this cover suits this book. There is a certain economy to this kind of cooking and I confess that when my friend Tonia mentioned how much her food bill had dropped, she persuaded me to read the book. I consider myself a bit of a foodie and I've cooked many, many meals for quite the growing crowd. I couldn't imagine what new morsel would be between the covers, but they were there! I haven't finished yet and I do offer one caveat: there are lots of references to crusty bread brushed with olive oil and to shaved Parmesan cheese. If you are on a restricted diet, please consider that your craving alert.

I'm still knitting Katie's Tiny Tea Leaves, nearly finished with the yoke. Knitting and sewing time seem a bit scarcer than I'd like lately. Not quite sure why...

Join Ginny for more tales of reading and knitting.

Gathering my Thoughts

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

My amaryllis bloomed late. I'm so glad. I've had the time to pay attention to it and it would have been lost in the crazy if it had bloomed on time.

::listening to 

Nothing. Very nice. 

::clothing myself in 

Wool. I wore a wool blend cardigan yesterday and didn't wheeze. Progress perhaps? Elizabeth Zimmermann writes that if you have a child who is allergic to wool, you work a little into her sweaters, increasing the amount each time you knit, kind of like allergy shots;-). I thought she was nuts, but I've been knitting with a blend recently and I just tried to wear a blend and survived. One day, I'd love to knit with a Madelinetosh yarn. Ginny gave me a small ball of it a couple years ago and we both were surprised by the ferocity of the way my body reacted. Still, I remember that yarn and hope to re-acquaint myself.

::talking with my children about these books

Shakespeare. I think it's time to re-institute Shakespeare Fridays.

::thinking and thinking

 Last fall some time, I took all social media apps off my phone. Except Instagram;-) Very good move. I felt much less stressed. I also all but left Twitter altogether, not intentionally, just because it wasn't on my phone and it's that kind of thing--you sort of have to do it in real time, or at least I do. Then, I stepped it up a notch and limited myself to one Facebook check-in a day, at least on most days. Even better. (I will note here, though, that Facebook has an annoying glitch that moves things off one's wall. I've missed messages because I waited to long to check in. Really, don't try to contact me via Facebook. Too unreliable.)

The reality is I hate sitting here in front of this screen and typing. I don't hate blogs or writing (as in composing) or the internet. I just hate the physical act of being tethered here.

I've switched all my planning--calendars, lesson plans, listmaking--to paper this year. Pretty paper. I really do love pretty paper. The paper in my life--the treasured books, old letters, prints of photographs, the daily missal--I'm bringing it to the center and moving the computer to the margin. At least I'm trying to do that.

On December first, knowing that my family was going to need my undivided attention and a lot of it, I pulled back from the computer even more. I ran a lot of old posts on my blog and I rarely checked in on social media. Even though those were very intense weeks, full of lists, and even though I was running hard and fast and staying very task-oriented, I felt a certain sense of balance.

At bedtime a few nights ago, Karoline commented, "You aren't on the computer very much any more." That was it. Just an observation. The reality is that all of the above, plus the fact that I've been sharing my laptop with Christian, makes her observation very accurate.  

I like it that way.

And now, I'm trying to figure out how to hold onto that and still be the writer my soul begs me to be. I'm wondering how my eagerness for a new camera will play into this scenario. I want to capture the images and to learn to do it well. But I'm worried about adding photo editing time.

If I'm here, reading or typing in the glare of this screen, I'm not knitting or sewing or gardening or reading a picture book to a little girl who looks nothing like a toddler any more.

Thinking. Lots of thinking.

::pondering prayerfully

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Aimee pointed out the the NAS version is Cease striving and know that I am God. Seems the perfect verse for someone who just spent six months making list after list and getting to nearly everything on them and trying mightily not to let anyone down. Perhaps it is time to cease striving?

::carefully cultivating rhythm

Last night, after our first Monday of the "new normal," I was with Nick in the kitchen before turning off the lights on the day. He sighed a happy little sigh and said, "Doesn't it feel good to have the house clean and have gotten so much done in this day?" He noticed. It did feel good. The day wasn't perfect and it wasn't without its own drama, but there was a really palpable sense of peace in my home. It's rhythm, establishing itself.

::creating by hand

I think I will try to conquer those nightgowns I once intended for St. Lucy's Day. And I've been happily knitting the first of the Easter sweaters. I do plan a post of knitting and sewing plans, mostly just to create a visual organizer for myself. (This remains the same as last week. I'm going to make myself get to those today. I need to get back into a sewing rhythm, I guess.)

::learning lessons in

fitness. I went to the gym. I spent six minutes on the elliptical. I thought I was going to die. Even hours later, I felt terrible. Clearly, there is a big difference between the recumbent bike in my closet or walking briskly in my neighborhood and that monster machine at the gym. I'm scared to go back. Fitness people feel free to comment. 

{Just an aside, as I shushed the interior voice telling me what a sad sack I am, I did remind myself that even though everyone around me was clearly a fitness superstar, it was highly doubtful anyone had borne nine children. My body is pretty amazing. Just sayin' ;-) } 

::encouraging learning 

Mike is taking a Spanish class practically at dawn every Wednesday. He had several years of Spanish in high school and college, but his Miami office (ESPN Deportes) is entirely native Spanish speakers. It was well past time for a brush up. In solidarity, everyone here is re-commiting to Rosetta Stone. Karoline is quite certain she's already bilingual. 

::begging prayers

for Elizabeth DeHority and Kelly Davignon and Jen Fulwiler.

::keeping house

Last time Patrick left, I never re-wrote the chore chart. I'm not sure why. I think it might just have coincided with a time in my life when I was tired of thinking through homemaking routines over and over again. I'm not sure. Once upon a time, a friend and I traded those lists and tweaked and thought it all through so much that you would have thought we were employed full time in some sort of domestic think tank. And then, poof! I just started running this house with a very loose--not written any where--kind of plan. 

I'm not sure I can commit yet, but I think I might have a new homemaking notebook itching away at my fingers.

::crafting in the kitchen 

I made an enormous pork roast yesterday. Fifteen pounds. Mike commented that dinner was really good last night. I'm glad he thinks so. We're going to be eating it all week. Your suggestions for leftover, slow-cooked Dutch oven pork most gratefully accepted.

::loving the moments

On the day that Patrick left, without any real plan to do so, I started sharing snippets on Instagram. (You can see those pictures here.) It did occur to me that this was raw stuff and perhaps it was inappropriate for such a venue. But something happened. Joy said it best later in the day, when she wrote, "I'm grateful for Instagram on days like today...what I prayed and how I prayed changed as the day went on and the pics that came up. I'd never thought to use it that way before, but I do think my prayers for my friends will change after today."  I couldn't agree more. I knew people were praying. It was tangible and very real. Like Joy, I think the way I look at Instagram and pray accordingly will be forever changed.  (Documented on Instagram. Follow me @heartofmyhome or click the camera icon in the top right sidebar. See you there!)

::giving thanks 

::for the new normal. 

::For time with friends from high school. It never ceases to amaze me that after all these years and their countless moves, Shelley and I can still gather in the kitchen and pick up right where we left off in the sharing of hearts. 

living the liturgy

Yesterday, I took a few moments and wrote down the baptism anniversaries of all my children in my calendar for the year. Today, I plan to do that for godchildren, too. I really want to make a little fuss on their baptism days every year. I always intend to, but often forget. I want it to be a solid family tradition, just like birthdays and namedays.  (Cool little things: Mike was baptized on my birthday. Well, not really, because I wasn't born yet, but he made it a pretty special day the year before I arrived. And Nicholas was baptized twelve years before Michael's wedding date, in the same church, by the same priest. Twelve years later, he was best man on that day! He says that day counts as a good baptism celebration. Not sure how I'll ever top it, actually.)

::planning for the week ahead

We are going to keep doing the new normal. I'm looking very forward to a visit from a friend. We are going to make some grand plans and go out to dinner, just us. I'm so ready for girl time, I can't even contain my excitement!

Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God

{This post is a part of the Cravings blog tour.}

Five years ago, I resolved not to diet. (Go ahead. Read it. I'll be here.) As I said then, I come from a long line of dieters, and an astonishing number of women with eating disorders. For the rest of that story, you'll have to click the link. For today, I want to tell you about the last five years and a most extraordinary book. 

Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God was written by Mary deTurris Poust. 

Mary is an author, columnist, journalist, speaker, and blogger who has written for dozens of Catholic and secular publications. I think you will want to add her blog, Not Strictly Spiritual to your "read frequently" list. I first read Mary when I picked up Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship.

The funniest thing happened right after I read that book. Well, maybe not the funniest, but definitely worth smiling about. Linda, one of my dearest, closest friends in the whole world called to tell me that she was reading this awesome book that just reminded her of us and she wanted me to read it with her. Had I ever heard of Walking Together?

Um, yep. A little;-). I had blogged about it and had a delightful conversation with the author and Lisa Hendey for a Faith and Family podcast that very day.

Linda doesn't read my blog:-)

I love her any way. But I digress.

So when Mary asked me to review this book, I jumped at the chance. Honestly, I wasn't all that enthused about the subject matter, but Mary is an excellent writer and I really like to read her books because she thinks big thoughts and she thinks them thoroughly. In this rapid-fire internet world, those big thought, thorough books are becoming rare.

I wanted to read this book, not because I have an obsession with dieting or any kind of eating disorder, or even a poor body image. I wanted to read this book because, dang!, it's really, really hard to eat the way I have to in order to avoid setting off an autoimmune reaction. Between Hashimoto's and Celiac disease, I've learned to eliminate all grains, dairy, legumes,and sugar. Ideally, the meat in my life hasn't been fed grains, either. Think about that a minute. That's a whole bunch of food that's not in play. I feel like I think about food all the time, just to figure out what to eat next. And frankly, I'm tired of wreatling with food all the time. I don't diet, but sometimes I starve--not because I mean to, but because there truly isn't anything available to eat. Poor planning. 

So, I read this book with different eyes from most of the reviewers on the grand blog tour. Much of what Mary wrote about the voices we hear as women rang true, but for me, I was looking for something else. I had mostly quieted those voices; the taunting of different voices was ringing in my ears.

From the middle of July until last week, I stuck carefully to a very strict eating plan. And I felt well, really well. And then, all at once, the wheels fell off. I helped myself to spoonful of cream cheese frosting, then, two chocolate chips, and before I knew it, I was dipping bread in butter. That day, writhing with a stomachache, my mouth full of blisters, I tried to help my family see my son off to college. Emotional eating? No way! I had conquered that, remember?

Maybe not.

Walk with me a few minutes through Mary's book. I'll pull some quotes that spoke to me and hope they speak to you, too. They are a bit eclectic. Think of it as a buffet.

Make a list. Start to write down the tihngs you've always wanted to do, a Bucket List of sorts. I did this not long ago and was suprised by some of the things that made their way onto my list...Weight loss or  poor body image don't seem to have anything to do with those things, at least not on the surface. But when you dig a little deeper, you begin to see that a poor self-image makes us less likely to tackle something new, something that might call attention to us, when what we really want is to fade into the background.

Oh, yes. That fade into the background desire. I know it well.

I've often said the greatest weapon I have in the war against eating something that makes me sick is the Eucharist. If I can remember between times that I receive Communion that I won't even take the Lord in a form that contains gluten, it's hard to persuade msyelf that any other forbidden food is worthy.

Mary quotes Cathy Adamkievwicz, who says, 

Whenever I go to Mass, I'm offered Jesus himself in the Eucharist. It's become a profound reminder that he will feed me--repeatedly. He is always there, ready to give me exactly what I need.

And really, I don't need a grilled Brie sandwich on artisan sourdough.

Nurturing the connection between body and soul starts us down a road less traveled, one where we crave healthier foods, slower mealtimes, more physical and spiritual space. From this new perspective, we willingly choose fewer mindless high-calorie fillers [or fewer autoimmune triggers?] because we don't want to bog down our bodies and souls with things that wear us out, fatten us up, and lead to sluggishness and dissatisfaction and acedia, or inertia...We can find magic in the moments of chopping, stirring, baking, eating, savoring, and sitting around a table and enjoying our food rather than standing at a counter eating directly from the bag. But that shift in attitude takes work, so get out your shovel and let's start digging.

My college going-away-day binge?  I don't think it was deep-seated emotional muck that required a steam shovel. Instead, I think it was largely fatigue and about eight weeks worth of to-do lists that never once bulleted self-care moments. It was the royal crash my spiritual director had warned about the night before the wedding, when he gently chided, "Martha, Martha..." This book and a small spade, and I think I can shovel out of this one.

I loved Mary's reminiscing about Sunday afternoons in Brooklyn. They reminded me very much of my cousin Ellie's similar memories. I could smell the Bolognese gravy and hear the great-aunts arguing about the right way to make the perfect meatball. I don't think the value of Sunday dinners can be overstated.

In the chapter on balance, Brother Victor of The Gift of Simplicity and the wonderful Monastery Kitchen books, writes, 

Make preparing food an enjoyable time. People can get into it and learn the value of these different elements, how to balance a meal. It's not just a question of eating and filling ourselves up and then just forgetting. Making food is something that can really bring quality into your own personal life and your family, not only on feast days and special occasions. Do it as an everyday thing, even if it's in a simpler form, and then perhaps on weekends or feast days you do something more elaborate.

My kitchen time of late has not been enjoyable time. It's been crazy-busy, hard pressed, and utilitarian, even when feeding large crowds of loved ones for special occasions.

Brother Victor again:

The daily rhythm of a monastic life attaches great importance to the time spent in the kitchen and food preparation, to time in the refectory and the act of consuming food. Saint Benedict attached great importance to these matters, and throughout the whole of monastic tradition, food retained a sacred character because of the importance given to it by Christ himself. Anyone participating today in the life of a monastery notices the importance the monks and nuns give to their meals, their practical and healthy method of cooking, and their reverential way of serving food at the table and their equally reverent consumption of it.

I've been at war with food. A former foodie with an Italian passion for food and feeding my family, I've been fighting food this past year. It's truly too hard to feed an entire very large family with my food restrictions. After reading this book, I'm ready to fill myself with Christ, and--so filled--to cook with intention for my family, secure in knowing that I can forego some of the foods they are eating because food isn't bigger than the Spirit that fills me. 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

I highly recommend the book and I have a copy to give away. Leave a comment below; join the foodie conversation (I truly do love foodie conversations). I'm going to try to pop in frequently in the next couple days and follow up on comments.

You may leave separate comments if you share this post/giveaway on Twitter and Facebook (or even Instagram--I love Instagram. And foodie Instagram, all the better. I'm @heartofmyhome). The contest ends at 8 pm EST on January 25, 2013. 

Also, there's this giveaway. It's a biggie! Win a Williams-Sonoma gift card.

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.} 

Gospel

Luke 3:15, 21-22

The people were filled with expectation,
and all were asking in their hearts
whether John might be the Christ.
John answered them all, saying,
“I am baptizing you with water,
but one mightier than I is coming.
I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals.
He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

After all the people had been baptized
and Jesus also had been baptized and was praying,
heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended upon him
in bodily form like a dove.
And a voice came from heaven,
“You are my beloved Son;
with you I am well pleased.”

Think:

"The Lord was baptized, not to be cleansed Himself, but to cleanse the waters, so that those waters...might have the power of Baptism." ~St. Ambrose

Pray:

Remember how beautiful the blessing of parents is after a child is baptized?

A. Celebrant: God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary's child, has brought joy to all Christian mothers, as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children. May he bless the mother of this child. She now thanks God for the gift of her child. May she be one with him (her) in thanking him for ever in heaven, in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All: Amen.

Celebrant: God is the giver of all life, human and divine. May he bless the father of this child. He and his wife will be the first teachers of their child in the ways of faith. May they be also the best of teachers, bearing witness to the faith by what they say and do, in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All: Amen.

Act: 

Read this part of the second reading from today's Mass again:

When the kindness and generous love
of God our savior appeared,
not because of any righteous deeds we had done
but because of his mercy,
He saved us through the bath of rebirth
and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
whom he richly poured out on us
through Jesus Christ our savior,
so that we might be justified by his grace
and become heirs in hope of eternal life.

(Titus 3:4-7)

Tap into to abundant grace available to baptized Christians, and look for opportunities this week to pour mercy richly over the lives of the people we meet.